Brother gets mad at sister for not changing her plans with her 10- and 8-year-old kids to babysit his friend's 6-year-old son, even though he could stay with his mother: 'Now I’m getting bombarded with messages from my brother about how I’m so selfish'

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Sep 20, 2026 2:00 PM EDT

If YOU agree to do something, then it's YOUR responsibility to go through with it. 

If I had this fun day planned with my kids so I, as a mother, could spend some quality time with them after they have been at school all week and I was working, I wouldn´t give it away for anything. I'm not a mother, so this is a hypothetical situation. But I don't think I'm far off from what most mothers think about this. It must be really hard to spend so much time away from your little ones, so giving away the one day you get to do something fun for them is not something you easily give. That's why I completely understand u/BigMamaO in this situation. She had a fun date plan, and her brother wanted her to give it away to take care of a kid that's nothing to her? This guy definitely was out of his mind. 

Which takes me to my second point: responsibility. If you agree to do something for someone. Then you can't just drop that responsibility for somebody else to deal with. You agree to it, so it's YOUR responsibility. I hate that kind of people. I hope that this woman got to set a boundary with her brother so that this situation doesn't repeat itself.  

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  • What a fun date to have with your kids! I would not cancel that can of plan for anything.

    So my (39f) 10yo F and 8yo M play Pokemon Go together. A lot. Yesterday was community day and I promised them I'd take them out to play. They've been looking forward to it all week and so was I because I worked all evenings and they just started. school we hadn't had much time together this week. Friday night my brother calls me at work saying his friend dropped his son (6yo) off at our place for the weekend and I need to watch him
    via BigMamaO
  • A girl grabbing her mom's hand. Scene shown is a visual representation.
    via Sandra Seitamaa

    A girl grabbing her mom's hand.

    Scene shown is a visual representation. 

  • Why would it be this mother's responsibility to take care of her brother's friend's child? She has nothing to do with this.

    Saturday. I told him I was planning on leaving my 5yo with my mom because he doesn't like walking so long and neither does his friends son. My mom had already told him I have plans with 2 of them and she would be here with my 5yo and she can be with the 6yo as well. But apparently I'm a huge AH for not taking them with me. Now I'm getting bombarded with messages from my brother about how I'm so selfish. I told him I feel like it's
    via BigMamaO

  • It seems like this kid got to have the best time with the sister's 5-year-old, and so did the mother with her other kids. That's a win-win in my books.

    incredibly entitled of him to try to force me to change my plans because he didn't want to watch his friends kid. Am I on glue? Am I seriously in the wrong? My mom kept the little ones and took them to get a happy meal and over to the mall while we were gone. So I really don't understand what I did wrong here? Please advise.
    via BigMamaO
  • A playground full of kids playing. Stock photography for depiction only.
    via Oakville Dude

    A playground full of kids playing.

    Stock photography for depiction only. 

  • He needs to start taking care of his own things and stop expecting other people to do it for him. He said he was going to take care of his friend's child, so he should have.

    Bv11winkle NTA but your brother....
    via Bv11winkle

  • That's what I've been saying! It was HIS responsability to babysit that child. Nobody else's.

    Regular_Boot_3540 Your brother is TA for trying to foist a kid onto you without even asking. You're NTA
    via Regular_Boot_3540

  • This woman deserved to have the best time with her kids, and that's it!

    Dashiery-Barrell5 Yeahh. You shouldnt have to cancel something your kids were excited about because someone else made an assumption about your time.
    via Dashiery-Barrell5

  • He was the one who should have stayed with the child and care for him, as it was his responsibility.

    New-Comment2668 NTA and if your brother feels so strongly about his friend's kid being entertained, he can d ed well do it himself.
    via New-Comment2668

  • I agree. This situation cannot happen again, so if this is a common situation, this woman needs to finally stand her ground for once and for all.

    GoetheundLotte NTA and your brother is a selfish lout who obviously thinks you need to drop everything and change your plans last minute to accommodate him and his friend's kid. And if this is something your brother does often, time to very firmly put your proverbial foot down here. So for every message and text your brother sends to you regarding how
    via GoetheundLotte

  • And it's true, he's the selfish one for leaving that kid to be somebody else's problem.

    selfish you supposedly are, respond that you are not the selfish one here, but that he is (do not get into an argument, do not do some big explanations just clearly and firmly post or text that your brother is selfish and entitled and that you are not).
    via GoetheundLotte

  • I think that everyone (except the brother) agrees that the brother's claim is not valid at all.

    TallRelationship2253 If your brother offered to watch his friend's kid - he should watch the kid, not you and not your mother. If he wasn't available himself to watch the kid that day - he shouldn't have offered his services and certainly not anyone else's. Your brother is a piece of work. Why should you change your plans at all. Not wrong here.
    via TallRelationship2253

  • That's what I've been saying!

    Lost-Tie5053 Your brother Is a huge AH. It seems his friend trusted HIM to watch his kid. Not your responsibility to change your plans or take the liability of watching someone else child that you dont know
    via Lost-Tie5053
  • Big MamaO OP I know the kid. I had to walk around the CnE with him every year and every year he complains the whole time that his feet hurt and I won't buy him everything he sees which was the main reason I knew it would not be a great time for my kids who want to play the game.
    via BigMamaO
  • FormSuccessful1122 Why the h I would you EVER watch your brother's friend's kid? Especially without being asked first. NTA Clearly.
    via FormSuccessful1122

  • I agree. If I let my kid stay with somebody that I trust to babysit them, I wouldn´t want somebody else doing it.

    External_Two2928 NTA, and tbh if I trusted my child with someone to watch I'd be pretty ped if they pawned my kid off to someone else
    via External_Two2928

  • He didn't even ask. I can't believe it.

    fadingsunsetglow Nta. People are to ask not just let you know kid was dropped off somewhere.
    via fadingsunsetglow

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