Grandparent refuses to babysit grandchildren during summer break without getting paid, parents claim: ‘You need to step up as a grandparent’

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jul 16, 2026 7:45 AM EDT

Are grandparents required to provide free childcare as part of their grandparenting responsibilities?

The answer is 100% no, mostly because there is no such thing as "grandparenting responsibilities."

While many parents wait for the day their kids finally make them grandparents, it's safe to say they are not excited about all the duties they are going to have as grandparents. The fun part about grandchildren is usually that you get to spend time with them without being burdened by the responsibility aspect of it all. Grandparents are here for fun, not for commitments. 

That doesn't mean that they don't help. In fact, many young parents rely on the grandparents for assistance; that is what family is there for. But there is a big difference between asking for help and demanding it. When people start demanding help, they are much less likely to get it. Your parents don't owe you help with your kids; they will provide it if they want to. Anything more than what they are willing to give is yours to figure out.

The family situation below is a tricky one, and it's clear that one solution won't be accepted by everyone, but still, a solution must be found. A grandparent was asked to babysit her two grandchildren during summer break, and after they initially agreed, the babysitting suddenly became free childcare. Even though the grandparent loves spending time with the kids, they don't want to do it every single day, and definitely not for free. This led the grandparent to tell their daughter that they would be willing to babysit, but only if they got paid for it. This was not received well by the daughter, who felt that a grandparent has duties and responsibilities towards the family, including babysitting for free.

Should the grandparent get paid for the free babysitting, or should they simply set a boundary and start saying no to some babysitting requests?

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  • 01
    Grandmother hugging her granddaughter.
    via Getty Images

    Grandmother hugging her granddaughter.

    Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITA for not babysitting without getting paid.

    This is about my daughter and her husband. They have two kids that are 4 and 6. They are the only grandkids and I like to think I am a good grandparent.
    via FrequentRetiremtn
  • 03
    The issue that has started to arise since I retired about 2 months ago. I thought being retired would give me more time to finally have some free time but that hasn't been happening.
    via FrequentRetiremtn
  • 04
    I have been asked to babysit all the time now. First it was just can I just pick them up from summer camp some days and be with them until
    via FrequentRetiremtn
  • 05
    days and be with them until they get home. Than it was a few random weekend days becuase they needed to go out.
    via FrequentRetiremtn
  • 06
    My breaking point was that they asked me to do 4 times a week since summer camp has ended and they didn't have the cash to pay for the daycare they usually did.
    via FrequentRetiremtn
  • 07
    I told them I would need to be paid to do this and we got into an agruement. They told me I need to step up as a grandparent. I don't wish to
    via FrequentRetiremtn
  • 08
    spend all my times watching kids and not living up my retirement.
    via FrequentRetiremtn
  • 09
    edit: I don't know if this is getting lost in translation. I will do it if I get paid. If they pay me I will do it, if they don't I already told them it's a no
    via adjudicateu
  • 10
    Grandmother enjoying her retirement.
    via Getty Images

    Grandmother enjoying her retirement.

    Subject is a model.

  • 11
    adjudicateu 'sorry, not this time'. practice saying it.
    via adjudicateu
  • 12
    lukibunny NTA tell them you are retired and not a free babysitter. You didn't retired to be a free nanny.
    via lukibunny
  • 13
    You would love to see the grandkids once a week unless its an emergency or if you are on a trip. Anymore than that is a no.
    via lukibunny
  • 14
    20frvrz I think you made a mistake by making this about money when it sounds like it's about time. "No" is full sentence.
    via 20frvrz
  • 15
    dragonsandvamps NTA But I think the bigger issue here is you are confusing two arguments. On the one hand, you are saying, "I don't want to do this. I want to enjoy my retirement."
    via dragonsandvamps
  • 16
    On the other hand, you are switching to, "I'd happily watch the kids if you were paying me."
    via dragonsandvamps
  • 17
    I think you need to decide which one of these it is and stay consistent. If you want to take a break and be retired, agree to watch them once a week and they
    via dragonsandvamps
  • 18
    need to find other childcare arrangements. If you're willing to watch them full time if you're paid, say that.
    via dragonsandvamps
  • 19
    LydiaStarDawg NTA. I'm a newish mom, and I don't get this entitlement that our parents owe us anything with our kids.
    via LydiaStarDawg
  • 20
    Anything you are willing to do is great, but you owe them nothing.
    via LydiaStarDawg

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kids summer work grandchildren parenting babysitting grandparents retirement free babysitting summer vacation parents children
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