Wife realized that her mother-in-law insisted that they buy a specific house so that her brother-in-law, Kyle, would live with them forever and not with her: ‘Kyle has been given formal notice to move out. [Mother-in-law] is furious

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Sep 19, 2026 1:00 PM EDT

The mother-in-law being a witch is supposed to just be a storytale.

What would you do if you were pressured into buying a house all to find out to be a storyline created by your mother-in-law so that you are now responsible for caring for your adult brother-in-law? Well, that is the story here, unfortunately for the people involved. It is sad how a mother decided to carry out a malicious plan that benefited herself and caused problems in his son's life and marriage. Is also sad that the only two people being involved in the whole situation are the women of the family: the mother-in-law and the person suffering this whole outcome. But what makes everything worse is thinking that a family that you marry into will do a well-thought-out plan just so they can delete themselves from the situation and the responsibility and put it on somebody else's shoulders. 

The only thing that is a favorable outcome from this whole thing is that if they set a boundary now, then I will set a boundary into the future. Is important that they stand their limits si that they are not involved in a situation like this ever again. 

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  • 01

    Am I in the wrong for making my BIL move out after realizing my MIL basically pushed us to buy this house so she wouldn’t have to house him?

    My husband and I bought his late grandmother Gertrude's house from her estate. My MIL "Carla" pushed us HARD to buy this specific house. Like, really hard. My BIL "Kyle" had already been living in Gertrude's basement for a few years before we bought it, and when we bought the house he just... never left. There was never a conversation where my husband and I agreed that buying this house meant Kyle got to live with us indefinitely. We
    via forced-girl
  • 02
    A white house under maple trees.
    via Scott Webb

    A white house under maple trees.

     

  • 03

    If you buy a house and it has a rat (not referring to the man as a rat, though), wouldn't you exterminate the rat?

    knew he was already there and obviously weren't going to throw him out immediately, but we never agreed to permanently house him. Now that the house is bought, Carla has gotten a lot more comfortable saying the quiet part out loud. She's literally said she wanted "her kids to be set" and that she pushed for this house because she didn't want Kyle to be "displaced." (I'm gonna throw in a quick edit
    via forced-girl
  • 04

    She fully expected her son and daughter-in-law to do her job as a mother?

    here, so no one can make assumptions. We have had multiple conversations about how long Kyle will be allowed to stay here, throughout the duration of the house buying process and moving in here. The conflict is coming up because Carla didn't expect us to put a timeframe on his occupancy or to stand our ground on it.) So basically, she didn't want Kyle living with her, ("If he comes to live with me it will ruin my
    via forced-girl
  • 05

    The whole plan makes the mother'in'law look like an evil witch that could have been in a Disney's movie.

    marriage!") and her solution was apparently getting us to buy the house he already lived in so he'd become our problem instead. Every time we try to talk to her about Kyle moving out, she also suddenly brings up money. My FIL "Bob" handled Gertrude's estate and after the house sold, he received the seller's proceeds check (the amount was less than 3% of what we're buying the house for. Roughly equivalent to one of my husband's paychecks
    via forced-girl
  • 06

    The father-in-law gave you a monetary gift. That's it. He didn't give you a loan, it was just a gift.

    on a slow week.) and gifted it to my husband, "as a housewarming present" (Bob's exact words.). (this DOES NOT MEAN that we got a "free house"? I'm very confused on where some of you are getting that idea. We're gonna be paying on this house for the next 30 year****s at least.) There was no agreement that it was a loan or that we had to pay it back. Carla now insists we owe her that money and keeps using it
    via forced-girl
  • 07

    She is just lying her way into the couple, doing exactly what she wants them to do. That's what she did with the house, and that's what she will continue to do.

    to deflect from the Kyle situation. (I think part of her motivation to have us by the house was so she would get a payday ON TOP OF getting to shirk her responsibility. to her grown child.) She even recently tried telling us we could lose our house over it, which turned out to be complete bulls when I actually contacted. the title company. At this point we're done. Kyle has been given formal notice to move out.
    via forced-girl
  • 08

    Of course it does not mean that! That woman is a witch, and you need to get out of the situation ASAP.

    Carla is furious because according to her, Kyle staying here was basically part of the whole reason she wanted us to buy the house. But that's exactly my problem. That was HER plan. Nobody bothered to make sure it was OUR plan before we bought the house. We have our own kids and our own family. I don't think buying a house means unknowingly signing up to house another grown adult forever because my
    via forced-girl
  • 09

    She never thought about what was best for her son or her daughter-in-law, which just proves how mean she is as a person.

    MIL decided that arrangement worked best for her.
    via forced-girl
  • 10
    A family playing together in the living room. Model representation.
    via National Cancer Institute

    A family playing together in the living room.

    Model representation. 

  • 11

    The mother-in-law wanted an easy way out, which was forcing other people to take on her responsibilities.

    Legitimate-Store 7051 NTA. Your MIL made a major decision about your home and Kyle's future without actually getting your agreement. Knowing Kyle already lived there is not the same as agreeing to house him indefinitely. The money issue also sounds like a separate matter, especially if the estate proceeds were explicitly gifted to your husband. Kyle being autic doesn't change the basic point: his long-term housing arrangements
    via Legitimate-Store 7051
  • 12

    It's her house. She can do and live which whoever she wants to. She is not obliged to give housing to anyone she doesn't want to.

    need to be discussed and agreed upon by the people whose home is involved. You're allowed to set a boundary around who lives in your house.
    via Legitimate-Store 7051
  • 13
    Awkward-Anybody5179 NTA- but it was pretty dumb for you guys not to have a conversation with Kyle (or each other, apparently) about him moving out when you bought the house.
    via Awkward-Anybody5179
  • 14
    anondogfree ESH. You never should have bought that house with a person living in it. Kyle should have been evicted prior to close or put on a lease. Also, why are you talking to your MIL about Kyle at all? He's an adult, your husband should be talking to him. He should also be shouldering the MIL drama. It's his family yet he's barely mentioned here. OP you also have a husband problem.
    via anondogfree
  • 15
    Your MIL s ks but she's not shirking responsibility because her child is an ADULT. Just like Kyle isn't your child. Why are you and MIL the only ones talking about this? Are all the men in this family incapable of being adults?
    via anondogfree
  • 16
    Spectre Omega NTA. Your MIL manipulated you into buying a property so she could offload her adult son onto you as a permanent dependent, without ever getting your consent.
    via Spectre Omega
  • 17
    NextChapter58251 ESH. Honestly, I'm a bit confused why you buy a house and never discuss the future of a current tenant / resident, especially when it's a family member. This should have been done before signing any contract. Of course your position to not house Kyle in the future is perfectly acceptable and MIL's undiscussed understanding that you are in charge now is not ok. But you were rather naive to never raise this issue before
    via NextChapter58251
  • 18
    buying the house. Your husband and you need to sit his mother/parents and his brother down and make sure that they know they need to make other arrangements. Set a deadline, put everything in writing - if necessary, cancel any rental agreements.
    via NextChapter58251

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housing drama family feud mother in law brother in law
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