‘He said, “You feel different today,” and asked me to go for a walk. I said I had work, but he literally shut my laptop and made me come’: Woman wonders how to stop her ‘overly friendly’ coworker’s advances

Author image for Olivia Arocena
Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Sep 18, 2026 2:30 PM EDT

Some people need clearer boundaries to understand rejection

It's ok; not all of us understand things so quickly. Some of us need very clear words and actions to get the message.

Of course, I'm being sarcastic here; many people desperately need some very basic social skills, and it's unbelievable that at a certain age we still have to face this type of encounter.

We've all been there at some point; we probably didn't behave like that, but it's normal to like someone and interpret their ambiguity as them liking us back. That shouldn't mean we're completely certain about the other person's feelings. We should always keep a safe margin of doubt, at least until there is explicit confirmation. Until then, our advances should be subtle, and we should always wait for a voluntary response from the other.

But what happens when somebody never understood this very basic rule of human behaviour? Is it our job to teach them?

I frankly think we don't have to; instead,  we should protect ourselves, and every time we see someone like this, activate the toughest boundaries protocol ever. When implementing something like this, it's important to remember we're not doing it to teach the other person anything; we're doing it for ourselves and ourselves only.

We know rejection stings, but those who were rejected should face the truth: our empathy shouldn't exceed our self-love. We should always protect ourselves first, even if that means being unkind, because (clearly) our kindness is misinterpreted as openness to being close to someone we don't want to be close to.

Has anyone else had an experience like this with a coworker who couldn't read the room? What did you do to neutralize  it? Do you think involving HR is important in cases like this?

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  • Cheezburger Image 10664836864
    via Andreea Avramescu

    The 'forward' coworker in action

    Picture does not depict real parties



     

  • Establishing boundary with coworker

    A guy joined my office. about a few months ago. A mutual friend introduced us, and over the past few weeks we became pretty good friends. We have lunch together, talk about our lives, and he's told me quite a bit about his past.
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  • From what he's told me, he tends to get attached to people pretty quickly when he becomes close to them. I've also established that I'm quite distant with people because of my past and that I'm
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  • comfortable being that way. Today, though, things felt a little different. He said, "You feel different today," and asked me to go for a walk. I said I had work, but he literally shut
    via maxnet_
  • my laptop and made me come. While we were walking, he kept saying, "I like this. This feels nice," over and over and when I started checking my work messages, he took my phone away and said,
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  • "You're using work as a distraction. Enjoy the moment." Then he asked for my hand. That made me uncomfortable, but I didn't want to directly confront
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  • him because I wasn't completely sure what his intention was. So I casually said something like, "I want to show you pictures of my pet," and started scrolling through my gallery. I deliberately scrolled slowly
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  • Cheezburger Image 10664837120
    via The Jopwell Collection

    Time to put some boundaries in place

    Actor performance of story events

     

  • enough for him to see a few pictures of me with my male best friend, but I didn't point them out, mention that he was my friend, or even acknowledge that he had seen them. I just continued scrolling normally.
    via maxnet_
  • He seemed to get the hint and moved a little away from me. Maybe I completely misread his intentions, but honestly, that's not even my main concern. Given what he's told me about getting attached to people
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  • he becomes close with, I felt like I needed to establish a boundary before things became complicated.
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  • paleopierce This is work. Telling him to get his hands off your laptop isn't a boundary, it's a work requirement. Do whatever you need to do to say no safely, but you could totally have said don't touch my computer and shut down the flimsy excuse for a walk.
    via maxnet_
  • Regular_Boot_3540 How on earth did he force you to take a walk? Stand up for yourself! And what's wrong with telling him you don't want to hold his hand? Learn to say "No."
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  • Cheezburger Image 10664837376
    via Go to Roman Kraft's profile Roman Kraft

    Holding hands is way too much

    Image depicted solely for explanatory purposes



     

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workplace-stories toxic-workplace work workplace toxic-work-environment
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