29-year-old asks younger sister to water plants for 2 weeks, kicks her out at 11 PM when she realizes she and her boyfriend are living in her apartment: 'They needed to leave'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Sep 19, 2026 1:15 PM EDT

Should access to somebody else's apartment also be an invitation to stay?

Everybody has slightly different boundaries when it comes to their home. While some are more than happy to entertain, accept guests, and let people stay over for any kind of reason, more people are a little more reserved with sharing their personal space. It is only fair to have some ground rules when it comes to who gets to access your living space and how; nobody would want their home to be disrespected or left in disarray because people they had over took liberties with it. 

One of the more mutually beneficial ways in which we can accept house guests is when some housesitting needs to take place. The homeowner gets their plants, mail, and/or pets taken care of, and the housesitter gets a place to stay for a while. Still, not everybody is going to be comfortable having other people in their home unsupervised, even if they are trustworthy. They may want their space to remain as private and personal as possible, even if they need somebody to help them out with a few of the chores while they do not happen to be there.

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  • A woman caresses the head of her boyfriend as she lies in his lap on the couch.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A woman caresses the head of her boyfriend as she lies in his lap on the couch. Models pictured are not representative.
     

  • A woman asked her younger sister to take care of her plants and any mail while she was away from her apartment, which happened for about two weeks every month as she travelled for work. Her neighbor had told her that they had seen her sister and a man carrying groceries to the apartment while she was away, but her sister denied staying there.

    This turned out to be a lie when she came back from a trip early and realized that her sister and her boyfriend had been staying in her apartment. She kicked them out, and they were not happy about it.

  • Am I wrong for kicking my sister out at 11pm after I got home early and found her staying at my place?

    I (29F) travel for work about two weeks out of every month. My apartment has a keypad lock, so while I'm away my younger sister (24F) has the code to water my plants and grab my mail.
    via Jazzlike_Mission_179
  • A few weeks ago a neighbor mentioned seeing my sister and some guy carrying bags up on a Saturday. When I asked her about it she said she'd just brought her boyfriend along to water the plants. I told her that was fine, but the code was only for the plants and the mail. She said "obviously" like I was being weird for even asking.
    via Jazzlike_Mission_179
  • Last week my meetings wrapped up a day early so I flew home Thursday night instead of Friday. I got to my door around 11pm and I could hear the TV going.
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  • She couldn't believe her eyes.

    Her boyfriend was stretched out on my couch and she was in the kitchen wearing one of my hoodies. Their bags were in my bedroom and they'd clearly been sleeping in MY bed.
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  • She goes "you weren't supposed to be back until tomorrow." Then she admitted they'd been staying there most weekends I was gone. She still lives with our parents and he has 3 roommates.
    via Jazzlike_Mission_179
  • I told them they needed to leave. She asked if they could at least stay until morning, and I said no. I'd been traveling since 6am and I honestly just wanted my own bed with clean sheets on it. They were gone by 11:30 and I changed the code the next morning.
    via Jazzlike_Mission_179
  • They had a 45 minute drive to his place. The next day she texted me that I humiliated her in front of him and treated her like some stranger who broke in. She hasn't answered any of my texts since. AITA?
    via Jazzlike_Mission_179
  • A couple relaxes on a couch, the woman resting in the man's lap with her head on a cushion.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A couple relaxes on a couch, the woman resting in the man's lap with her head on a cushion. Picture does not depict real parties.

  • It wasn't her place to decide to stay there.

    Glittering-Heart-293 She took advantage of you and knew she was in the wrong. She humiliated herself in front of her boyfriend.
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  • Significant_Meal9518 Am I the only one who doesn't hate my siblings? If I had an appt I didn't stay in for 2 weeks a month I'd let my younger sibling stay there if they wanted to... Was the sibling wrong? Yes. But I think there is a bigger issue here.
    via Significant_Meal9518
  • Go1gotha Why on Earth would you text her afterwards? You should have waited for nothing short of a grovelling apology. Cut off all contact and invest in devices that water your plants for you.
    via Go1gotha

  • It was wrong to assume it would be OK.

    Vegetable-Cod-2340 NTA She violated the trust you gave her by treating your apartment like an AirBnb. She embarrassed herself but putting herself in this situation.
    via Vegetable-Cod-2340
  • Op got to Amazon and get a automatic plant water system, heck Pinterest can teach you a DIY one with a soda bottle. But don't ever give her a code again and get cameras so you can catch her is she tries to get in again.
    via Vegetable-Cod-2340
  • Important_Count8954 NTA, she lied to you when asked, she broke your trust in her, she stayed at your place uninvited, she basically stomped all over your boundaries & she's hurt & humiliated? Please she owes you a huge apology & don't trust her to watch or water anything for a very long time.
    via Important_Count8954

  • She was facing the logical consequences.

    ReallnTheNight NTA. Let her sit with that humiliation she betrayed YOU. -
    via RealInTheNight
  • UpbeatAd4822 She should have asked, but I would have been fine with my sister staying at my place for the two weeks I'm not there. She is taking in your mail and taking care of your plants. As long as it was neat and clean when I got back
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  • and my things were in good shape - what's the big deal? But, you are still NTA. You did make her aware she wasn't welcome to stay.
    via UpbeatAd4822

  • She should have asked.

    Stunning_Roll790 If she wanted to stay at your place with her boyfriend, why not just ask you? But instead she lied about it and did what she wanted and got caught. Don't even text her anymore. Wait for her to apologize for being wrong. Your apartment isn't a free space for her to spend the night without permission.
    via Stunning_Roll790

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family drama sisters house sitting entitled people
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