24-year-old daughter declines to pay the $6000 necessary to save her parents’ family home after they still owe her $500 from a previous loan, instead she asks her siblings to step in and help out: 'I have $2,000 in my checking account'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Sep 23, 2026 4:00 PM EDT

When it comes to family and money, when are we responsible for contributing to family expenses, and when should we just look out for ourselves? 

Advertisement
  • 01
    A house is sold after being foreclosed on.
    via Getty Images

    A house is sold after being foreclosed on.



    Scene shown is a visual representation.
     

  • This 24-year-old has long witnessed her parents' poor financial decisions, which have left them in worsening financial situations. Including having to sell their previous house, which had been the family's home, urgently. This left them living with the kids' grandparents for an extended period of time.

    Now they have gone 6 years without paying property taxes. Having already filed for bankruptcy to deal with their earlier debts, they are facing the loss of their current home if they can't come up with $6,000. So the parents have turned to their daughter. She had already contributed to other fees in the past, including $600 in legal fees the year prior. Though they said they would repay her, they still haven't repaid the full amount. 

    So, she is at a crossroads and is wondering whether or not she is wrong for not immediately agreeing to pay the money. Instead roping her other siblings into the conversation, who thankfully have taken her side on the issue.

    Luckily, she has plenty of other support too, including that of her own partner, who has encouraged her not to simply acquiesce to her parents' every request.

    Still, she remains a responsible fixture within her family. And her penalty for being the responsible and dependable member is that she becomes the target of increased reliance. Because her parents know that she has money, and that she has been willing to share that money in the past, now they are dependent on that fact. Because she has savings and her parents have a need for money, her parents see that money as "available."

    The issue is not as simple as "Should you lend your parents money?" More so, "Should your personal savings be a family resource?"

    Keep reading to see her lengthy account of events, which she shared with this online community to appeal to readers and see whether she was in the wrong for standing her ground with her parents.

  • 02
    A large house representing the family home in the story.
    via todd kent

    A large house representing the family home in the story.

    Photo is a representation of story scenes.
     

  • AITAH for refusing to give my (24F) parents (46F, 49M) $6,000 to save their house?

    Story / w0ahgrace

    It’s been a very stressful last few days and although I am fairly confident with my decision, I am still racked with guilt and it seems like everyone is angry with me.

    Some backstory (I apologize if it’s long, there is a lot of relevant info):
    Growing up we lived in a pretty nice middle class house, but my parents lived wayyy above their means. My dad got hurt on a worksite that was not following safety procedures and he got a very big settlement. They put some of this money towards our first house and they’ve never had a mortgage. 

    Idk what exactly happened but they had to sell the house VERY fast when I was around 13-14 because they couldn’t afford it anymore. They sold it so fast that my family of 6 lived with my grandparents for a year until my parents bought a house for us and started renovating it.

    This is the house we live in now. They still don’t have a mortgage, but my mom is on dis*bility and my dad is the sole provider and doesn’t make a ton of money (my guess is $65-$70k a year). My brothers still live at the house with my parents- one is 20 (fake name but I’ll call him Aaron) and the younger one is 16 (George), while my sister (Alexis 23) and I are out of the house with our partners.

    For the past 5 years my parents haven’t been paying their property taxes for whatever reason. In 2022-2023 my dad had to file bankruptcy due to not paying property taxes and they’ve had hefty bankruptcy payments each month since then, which led to them not being able to pay for their current property taxes (or at least that’s their reason).

    Last December, my dad told me that there were people who had been trying to buy the property taxes from them and that they needed to go to court to settle it. He had asked me for $600 for lawyer fees, which I said yes to. They had to file bankruptcy under my mom’s name this time to be able to pay off their property taxes monthly and protect the house. They had a family meeting with all of us after their court date in December 2025 and explained the situation, and that it was resolved and the house was safe now and that they signed a contract.

    I should also point out that my parents still owe me $500 ($300 from the lawyer fees from last year and $200 other money I lent them).
    Flash forward to now. Yesterday my parents asked to talk with me alone and told me that there are people (same ones from before) who are trying to buy my parents' property taxes since they haven’t paid them in 6 years. 

    They said their lawyer messaged them on Thursday evening (September 3) basically telling them that they HAD to pay the $6000 at the upcoming court case on wed September 8 or they will be facing eviction, and that the deed of the house will go to the people who want to buy our property taxes. 

    According to my parents, they had told the lawyer many times that they will pay off the $6000 when my dad gets his upcoming settlement, which isn’t for another 2 months. They said that up until last Thursday, the lawyer said that it should be fine, but now all of a sudden they need to come up with all of this money. 

    The $6000 is going directly towards their 2025 property taxes (which I’m guessing wasn’t lumped into their bankruptcy), and they knew eventually they’d have to pay this, they just didn’t realize how soon and without the money my dad will be receiving.

    They claim that their lawyer never said that the 2025 taxes didn’t need to be paid at this hearing until Thursday, and that there was a loophole in the bankruptcy contract because the people trying to buy our property taxes are doing everything they can to get ahold of this house.

    I told them that I have $2,000 in my checking account, which I did offer, but the rest of my money is in a long-term savings account that I don’t ever take my money out of. I told them that I needed some time to think, but I knew that taking money from my long-term savings account would cross a HUGE boundary for me.

    They’ve asked to borrow money from me before (never this big of an amount), and I have suspicion that my mom has stolen money from me before too, so I’m actually working right now in therapy to set financial boundaries in place so I don’t get taken advantage of.

    I did want to help them out and I truly did feel horrible and still feel sh**y, but I decided that I can only do the $2,000 from my checking and not pull from my savings.

    My parents were VERY clear that if they don’t pay this $6,000 by tomorrow in court, the deed to our house will be given to the people who buy our property taxes and the house will no longer be ours and we will be evicted.

    When they talked with just me, I asked if I could at least talk with my siblings to get support from them. My mom was very against this and wanted this to stay between me, my dad, and my mom, but my dad said that he wants to tell them what is going on but to leave my little brother out of it.

    They told me that they can write up a contract with their lawyer and guarantee that they will pay me back in 2 months when my dad receives the settlement from getting hurt at work. They were also saying that they will pay interest on top of what they’d owe me, so they’d give me an extra $300 in 2 months when they pay me back.

    The rest of the settlement money is going to go to the $30k that they owe in property taxes, so they can finally pay off all of the bankruptcy payments and start actually putting money away for their property taxes starting in January.
    I told them that I would think about it.

    About an hour later I pulled Aaron and Alexis outside and just started to vent and freak out. I told them what was going on, about how our parents will lose the house if they don’t get this money in by court, and how they are expecting me to give them the full $6,000 from my savings.

    They were pretty stressed too, but they did ultimately agree that if I don’t think giving them $6,000 is the best decision for myself financially, we will have to find another way to get the money.
    I started making a GoFundMe and messaging a lot of people to get it pushed out there. Aaron was talking about selling his car and said he’d contribute $2,000, and Alexis said that she could possibly ask her boyfriend to help with the payment.

    Aaron and I both agreed that we would put in $2,000 each, so we needed to come up with $2,000 somewhere. My sister thought that we should have a family meeting later yesterday evening so we can all get on the same page with the situation and figure out where we are going to get this money from.
    I was SOO anxious to do this family meeting, because up until this point I hadn’t told my parents that I wasn’t taking $4,000 out of my savings account.

    So we all sit around for the family meeting yesterday evening and my mom starts throwing shade at me for getting my siblings involved and how it’s not fair to them.
    In response, my siblings all told my mom that they SHOULD have the right to know if they’re going to be homeless by the end of the week and that I shouldn’t be the only one carrying all of this financial stress.
    I cut to the point and told them that I am not comfortable paying $6,000 by taking money from my savings, but I will give them everything in my checking account (the $2,000), and Aaron said he will give another $2,000.

    My mom immediately got SO defensive. She said that I was being selfish, that the reason for having a savings account is for emergencies like this, and that I have no heart if I’m willing to throw my family out on the street since I have the means to fix this.
    I told her that we are coming up with solutions that don’t involve just me paying the $6,000, and that we just need to figure out where we are going to get another $2,000 from.

    She told us that if we don’t have every single penny that we might as well not even try because they will lose the house either way.
    We all started giving solutions. Aaron said that he can sell his old car or his video game collection, I told them that I started a GoFundMe, even George said that he’ll pitch in $1,000 of his own money that he’s been saving for a while now through side hustles since he doesn’t have a job.

    Regardless of all of the brainstorming, my mom just kept on going back to how she is in disbelief that I would do this to our family and how she thought I’d want to help out.

    My siblings were defending me by saying that I’m still helping out with the $2,000, and that ultimately it’s my money and I should have the right to decide not to take from my savings even if my parents disagree.

    Then my mom started berating me and saying that it’s not fair that I won’t help my parents out financially but if my boyfriend “wants a $3,000 kayak tomorrow you’d give him the money in a heartbeat,” which is just NOT true. 

    I repeated that I don’t ever take money out of my savings account for anyone and that it’s for buying a house in the near future, my boyfriend is not an exception to this.

    She said that my boyfriend hasn’t had a job for 3 months and that she knows I’m paying everything for him. I’ve told her this SO many times before (and I really shouldn’t have even argued back because she knows this), but he worked HARD to save every bit of money and he put 6 months of rent, food, and emergency funds away so he could take a couple months off of work for his mental health. I haven’t paid anything for him because he worked his ass off to save so we can still split things 50/50.

    After this my dad said that we’re taking a break because of how heated my mom was getting and that him and my mom need to talk alone.
    My siblings and I went outside and I literally just broke down sobbing. I was asking them if I was in the wrong, if I should just s**k it up and give them the $6,000 even though it feels so wrong to me??
    They all supported me and told me that I’m doing the right thing and that we will get this figured out and there are more options than just me giving them the $6,000.

    We went back inside after a bit and my dad had called my grandparents (his mom and dad) to ask if he could borrow money and they agreed to let him borrow $1,500.
    So with my $2,000, Aaron’s $2,000, George’s $1,000, and $1500 from my grandparents, they had more than enough money to get this settled.
    I know they are still VERY upset and disappointed with me, but I’m honestly really upset with them that I was put into such a hard position.

     

    But I’m also really upset with myself and I can’t shake the feeling that I’m being selfish, and that I should sacrifice what I have to keep my family’s home from being taken away.
    I’m mad that my siblings and I were even put into this situation. I mean this is their house and I’m happy to help, but I feel like I need to protect myself financially too.
    I know I did the right thing for me, but at what cost?
    My parents think I’m selfish and my siblings probably resent me getting them involved.

    After everything in these last 24 hours, I know I need some distance from my parents for my own mental health. I texted my therapist the situation and her (and also my boyfriend) felt that I shouldn’t even give them $2,000 because they haven’t paid me back before so many times, but ultimately the decision was mine to make.

    My therapist messaged me this morning that she was really proud of me for honoring myself, but I feel really ashamed if anything.

    I think it’s also important to add that I genuinely love my parents and I am very close with my immediate family. I go over to my parents’ house multiple times a week since I have my garden there and to hang out with my siblings and only live 30 minutes away.
    My parents don’t always ask me for money, but when they have, it’s never been for anything close to $6,000. They also ask my brother (20) for money and he is basically paying for at least half of their groceries, and I go to Costco for them once a month for basic items (toilet paper, paper towels, dog food, etc.) and spend around $150 a month on them there.
    I’m very generous and I’ve never turned them down if they ask to borrow money from me before. I truly just feel like this was too big of an ask.

    The only reason I don’t know if I’m the a**hole is because of how dire the situation really was.

    AITA for refusing to give my parents the full $6,000 from my savings when I had the ability to potentially access it, even though there was a genuine possibility that they could lose their home?


    I genuinely want honest opinions. I know my siblings, boyfriend, and therapist all support me, but they’re people who know me and love me. I want to know how this looks from an outside perspective.

  • 03
    bopperbopper Two thoughts. First, someone looking for money/support will review their options from most convenient to least convenient. When you're asked by someone in a hard position, it may feel like you're the difference between their chance to succeed and their chance to fail. But you're really just the next stop on the list...there was an easier one before you and there will be a harder one after you.
    via w0ahgrace
  • 04
    Second, "What appears to be a crisis is often the end of the illusion that things were working." It's rare that someone is actually in a situation where they were OK before and they'll be OK after, if they can just resolve one immediate issue. || I don't have any money to lend". (you may have money, but not to lend.)
    via w0ahgrace
  • 05
    Adpiava NTA - no one is entitled to your savings, especially not for alc ic parents who have made repeated bad financial decisions. I have some doubts about the truth of the story they are telling you. I don't understand how someone can pay the taxes on a property and then become the owners of it. It doesn't add up. I think you need to go very low contact with your parents for your own mental health.
    via w0ahgrace
  • 06
    Dipping_My_Toes NTA - your partner and your therapist are quite correct. You should not give them another penny. They are adults who need to manage their own finances. Clearly there is stuff going on that you do not have the full picture on. It is not your job to save them constantly from their own foolishness. You are not going to be evicted, they are. And they will find somewhere to go rather than living under a bridge. They need to deal with the consequences of their own poor decisions and ac
    via w0ahgrace
  • 07
    NP_release Girl, your parents put themselves in the mess. They can get themselves out. If they lose the house, they let it happen
    via w0ahgrace
  • 08
    thornynhorny Nta but honestly you shouldn't have even given them the $2k, I would have insisted on speaking to the lawyers and making the payment directly to where its supposed to go IF I decided to help them. What happened to the money they paid before? DID they actually pay off any debt before? Honestly they both sound like grifters... and that they would scam their own child is horrendous.
    via w0ahgrace
  • 09
    Hestiah NTA. You all should have had written agreements for when and how the money would be paid back to you. Your money is your money. The solution was solved by all of you banding together. I don't understand what your mom's issue is here. Your parents' issues are not yours to fix. Especially not over and over again. And especially not with all this emotional manipulation and guilt. You feel shame because she's manipulated you into feeling shame. You did a kind thing by helping. All of you did
    via w0ahgrace
  • 10
    Oranges007 You're an amazing daughter but your parent's havent learned a d In thing in the last 10 years. To pay property taxes like. everyone else. To keep on up and expecting their kid to keep bailing them out is insane.
    via w0ahgrace

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

family dynamics family drama finance parenting finances family family home parents
Scroll Down For The Next Article