12-year-old girl asks parents if she can share a room with her 14-year-old brother instead of her 11-year-old sister: 'I'm not 100% convinced by this arrangement.'

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My 14-year-old son and his 12-year-old sister want to share a room. Do you have any advice?

We have three teenagers/pre-teens: a 14-year-old son, a 12- year-old daughter, and a youngest daughter who is about to turn 11.
The two oldest ones have always been very close. They have very similar personalities and always just got along very well. The youngest is a bit more extroverted, and whilst there've never been any major problems between the three of them, she just mostly
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prefers hanging out with her friends at school over her siblings right now. Our family is now moving from one European country to another for a roughly two-year stretch of time due to a job opportunity of mine. We have found a BEAUTIFUL
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little house to rent for those two years that suits all our needs perfectly..... but there is one issue. There are two rooms that could plausibly work as kids' rooms: one that's a bit smaller, and one that is HUGE. We figured it would make sense to have our son in the
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smaller room and have the girls share the larger one, of course with some partitions and bookcases strategically arranged for privacy. The kids are mostly excited for the move and agreed to this plan at first. However, moving
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day is now approaching, and the three of them came downstairs for a 'formal discussion' with us last night, where all three of them said they'd talked it over among themselves, and they'd prefer if the two oldest ones shared the big room, with our third
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daughter taking the small one for herself. Our son and our older daughter say they'd be super excited to share a room and have space for their shared hobby equipment and books. They say privacy won't be an issue because of the
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partitions we have planned. The younger one says she prefers having a room to herself so she can hang out with her friends, who are planning to visit us over Christmas break, and be loud with them without bothering her siblings.
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Girl in white and red long sleeve shirt and blue denim jeans near bed
I'm not 100% convinced by this arrangement. I worry that my two oldest kids underestimate the need for privacy that they might feel from one another, especially given the gender difference and the fact that puberty is REALLY starting for both of them right now. I think
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they haven't fully caught up to how awkward things might get once they're in the throes of their hormonal changes. At the same time, I totally see their point. They'd enjoy rooming together and it would make a lot of sense to store all their
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stuff in one room, as they share a lot of hobbies and activities and like engaging in them together. The room really is huge (almost 40 sqm, basically the entire topmost floor of the cottage/house) and could basically be partitioned like a loft-style studio
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apartment (sans the kitchen and bathroom), with separate zones for both of them and a shared living area. What's your take on this? How should I talk about my concerns to my kids?
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Or should I just let them try it out and tell them we can always make new arrangements if they feel it doesn't work? Or would you not let them move in together in the first place, especially re: discussions it might start with our younger daughter if we had to switch back?
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dancingbanana3 I would let them try it out. Worst case scenario, they swap rooms later on.
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NovelsandDessert I'd let them trial it. Set a time limit, maybe 6 or 8 weeks with their desired set up, then evaluate. Make it clear this is a trial run and you as the parent can end it or extend it. At the end, talk to each kid individually about what's working and what's not. Share your own perspective on what's working/not. If they decided to move forward as is, set another check in for maybe 3-4 months, and let them know they can come to you at any time to discuss or request a change. All th
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No_Piccolo_2930 OP Yes, it's a reasonable request and a logical argument! They're super cool about being cooperative about stuff like this. I was really proud of them when all three of them came downstairs and gave their little presentation. A bit taken aback, but super proud. I think a trial run might be a good solution - I'm still wondering whether I'd like to trial run with the arrangement they proposed or with the 'original' one (basically 'I hear you, but let's start start with both girls i
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Ratbag321 It'll be fine. They are old enough to make these decisions, and it sounds as though the three of them had a proper discussion and this was the outcome. Kind of cool, really.
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No_Piccolo_2930 OP They're super cool about being cooperative like that! I was really proud of them when all three of them came downstairs and gave their little presentation. A bit taken aback, but super proud.
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