18-year-old gets scolded by neighbor after she offers him a job on her farm, and he refuses due to his tight schedule: ‘This is going to affect my work and my sanity’

Author image for Melissa Knudson
Melissa Knudson • Writer
Sep 30, 2026 11:15 AM EDT

How angry do you get when someone leaves your message unanswered?

We live in a reality in which time is a very limited resource. In my experience, you learn quite fast that time management and organisation are some of the most important skills to develop at work. Not only will you save yourself countless conflicts with fellow employees and bosses, but you will also help your own mental stability by managing your time properly. 

It's not always easy, though. When you've got too many things to do at once, including work-related activities and personal commitments, a few important details can slip through the gaps and cause misunderstandings. Something as small as answering a text message can cause big trouble. 

That was the case for this 18-year-old. He had been working at a farm for a couple of years already when he accepted another job. Because of his new schedule, he started to have more responsibilities and thus, less time altogether. Exactly for that reason, he couldn't answer a message coming from the farm's owner, offering him a small paid task. When he finally got around to answering, the owner was quite angry and got even more angry when he rejected the task altogether. He explained he was too busy to continue to undertake new farm responsibilities, and the owner had a lot to say about that reasoning.

Advertisement
  • Angry farmer working with corn.
    via Via Getty Images ( Via shotbydave )

    Angry farmer working with corn. 

    Actor performance of story events.

  • My neighbors I do work for are mad because I work a job they got me and now I don’t have time to work at their farm anymore.

    I (M18) work for my neighbors on their farm in MY free time. I started at the beginning of high school, and by the end of high. school I slowly stopped working; then I picked it up again after I came back from working at a summer camp. I let them know I
    via Silent_solitude87
  • summer camp. I let them know I was back in town and they said they had some work for me to do so I agreed and I worked for them almost everyday for about 6 hours feeding animals, landscaping, cleaning waste, maintenance, etc.. A couple
    via Silent_solitude87
  • maintenance, etc.. A couple weeks into being back one of them offers me a job working with him at his job and I agreed and I have been here for about 3 months now and I have noticed that he treats me like a child, explaining tasks i've done before repeatedly, calling me at least 10 times a day to come do some of his work for him, he even told me
    via Silent_solitude87
  • his work for him, he even told me once called me his "sidekick" to a group of coworkers, when I work more hours than him now, have more job tasks than him, and I am making less money than almost everyone employed here, anyway back to the farm.
    via Silent_solitude87
  • So yesterday he was not working but I was and I was doing maintenance tasks all day, towards the end of my shift I was working on remounting a toilet in a room and I got this text from them asking me to work at the farm,
    via Silent_solitude87
  • "Hey OP, Before we post looking for help, I'm just confirming you're unable to help (her husband) clear the fence of foliage. It's become a bit of an emergency because our dog keeps leaving the pastures. We'd love to pay *you* $20 an hour since you know your way around and we don't have to train you, but understand if your dance card is full.
    via Silent_solitude87
  • (her husband) made it down to the hay barn but has a long way to go. Let us know ASAP one way or the other. Thanks!"
    via Silent_solitude87
  • Man working at a farm.
    via Via Getty Images ( Via ferrantraite )

    Man working at a farm. 

    Model portrayal.

  • At that moment my hands had grease from the toilet's wax ring all over them so not wanting to get it on my phone I got back to working on the toilet and I forgot about the text. After work I went
    via Silent_solitude87
  • about the text. After work I went to visit my old JROTC program with a friend because we were asked to come back to help new people learn some stuff for competitions and after that we went to his house and just hung out the rest of the day. I am not a
    via Silent_solitude87
  • out the rest of the day. I am not a good at remembering to reply to messages and I had completely forgot by this point they had texted me and then the following conversation occurs.
    via Silent_solitude87
  • Her: "Ok, tracking. Thanks for letting us know even through the ghost method. If you ever are looking for great tax-free pay again, just reach out. There's always something we can use a hand with, especially since I'm out of town."
    via Silent_solitude87
  • Me: "Hey sorry I just got home at 9:08 and this is a screenshot (Life360 notification from when I arrived at home) from my moms phone, I was at work when you sent that with grease from a toilet wax ring all over my hands and I forgot to respond after I cleaned up because I went
    via Silent_solitude87
  • cleaned up because I went straight from work to my old school to mentor people on JROTC stuff, and then I spent some time with the same friends.
    via Silent_solitude87
  • I am not as available as I used to be, I am available to work sometimes but larger tasks like these take up a lot of my free time which I don't have much of these days.
    via Silent_solitude87
  • Man petting sheep on farm.
    via Yazid Nasuha

    Man petting sheep on farm. 

    Photo is a representation of scenes.

  • Her: "Copy all. (her husband) finished most of it tonight. We've got a couple of kids starting this week who've been begging for a turn to work to help (her husband). We're all set.
    via Silent_solitude87
  • I get you're busy, OP. You're getting a taste of adult busy and I know it's a lot. Add a home and some kids and a wild demanding military career and then we'll chat about busy. (her husband) worked mandatory 7 days a week for 11 years straight. He also helped a friend
    via Silent_solitude87
  • straight. He also helped a friend during those years run a restaurant every Friday and Saturday night and was a photographer for evening sporting events, weddings, senior pics, AND ran on calls every night as an EMT and Fireman for 20 years in the middle. We get it.
    via Silent_solitude87
  • No is a perfectly fine answer, just please don't leave us hanging. We are too busy to Thanks!" hang.
    via Silent_solitude87
  • (After that I just decided I wasn't gonna reply after asking my brother for advice on what to do, and I still haven't said anything)
    via Silent_solitude87
  • Her again 26 minutes later: "Ope! Forgot he earned his in- person MBA in the middle. I finished mine as a single mom working f/t, serving in the guard, and maintaining my own home. Those years were crazy. It's actually how we met. He was as driven and crazy as me and I liked that.
    via Silent_solitude87
  • I'm not bragging - ok I am bragging about (her husband) because you can't *fathom* the knowledge he carries - if he's a salty, straightforward a$$hole at times, good for him, he's earned it. I hope you earn that someday too."
    via Silent_solitude87
  • So I guess I have to earn the right to be an a hle
    via Silent_solitude87
  • Young man holding his head in frustration.
    via Via Pexels ( Via Karola G )

    Young man holding his head in frustration.

    Stock photography for depiction only.

  • Also for reference I was the JROTC Supply officer, FFA president, a class representative for student government, finishing up my eagle scout, all on top of going to school and working two jobs my senior year.
    via Silent_solitude87
  • I don't really know what to do he is my ride home from work most days and I want to talk to my supervisor about not assigning me with him for a bit because I| feel like this is going to affect my work and honestly my sanity. Any advice would be very appreciated!!
    via Silent_solitude87

  • There are two perspectives to this story. For one, it was clearly not the best move to leave the farm owner’s message unanswered; we can all agree nobody enjoys being ignored in any communication type. On the other hand, experience in life does not give anyone permission to be mean or condescending toward others. Impulsive and angry text messages are never a good idea. Just take a breath, think things through, and then text back with further thoughts and requests. Even 18-year-olds have the right to be a little busy sometimes. In fact, altogether, this entire conflict could’ve been avoided if both parties were a little more empathetic towards each other’s time. She probably needed a quick answer, as she mentioned the task in question was an emergency, and it was best for him to decline if he didn’t actually have the time to properly work on the farm. Also, putting ourselves in other people's shoes makes communicating much easier. At the end of the day, the childhood lesson stays the same: always be kind to one another. 

    Are you the type of person who hates not being ignored on text messages? Or are you the type that forgets to answer messages in the first place?

  • Apprehensive-Pop-201 If you're too busy working, you're too busy working. They chose their lives, you get to choose yours. You can always, keep communication lines open, you may need them someday. But that's completely up to you.
    via Apprehensive-Pop-201
  • Wise_Economics_9673 i think you're overthinking it. Just be a responsible person and respond when someone texts you.
    via Wise_Economics_9673
  • Wise_Economics_9673 i get why you didn't text at that moment. you made a mistake, you apologized and her texts came across as condescending, especially when she did the follow-up text. just realize that she's crazy (she said as much) and move on. If it's awkward the next time you see him, just say "hey, i'm sorry i missed your wife's text, but glad you found someone"
    via Wise_Economics_9673
  • also, just learn that when people text, sometimes we can put inflections into them that aren't necessarily there. If she hadn't sent the 2nd text, i would have chucked this up to one of those situations.
    via Wise_Economics_9673

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

disagreement employment issues boss neighbors employee bosses text messages text young worker misunderstanding farm work unanswered texts farm life
Scroll Down For The Next Article