Maid of honor gets treated differently than other bridesmaids by the bride, one of them, Mona, gets to have a different color dress and stand next to her at the altar: 'I told her it feels a little off, I'm the Maid of honor.'

Advertisement

Am I wrong for opting out of wedding party because best friend made a skinnier and photogenic girl wear a different color dress?

So my friend asked me to be an MOH, and she is a beautiful pretty girl and wants her wedding to be aesthetic. She picked bridesmaid dresses and the girl that is also in the wedding party, lets call her Mona, is getting a different color dress, which would make it seem she is the maid of honor. I am less photogenic than Mona, not completely unfortunate looking obviously but definitely a little heavier than the other girl. Mona is gorgeous.
Bridesmaids lined up alongside the bride. Licensed media provided as editorial context.
I feel a bit demoted, because I have been her best friend for longer and helped with some of the planning and going places with my friend that is getting married. But the different color dresses seem odd. Everyone seems to know i'm the MOH but this pretty girl is getting the MOH perks i guess. I asked my friend about it, she said she just wants an accent dress and that color would suit Mona better, and i would look better in the other
via Individual-Green-795
one everyone else is wearing. I asked where Mona will stand, she did say at the front, next to her at the altar. I told her it feels a little off, i'm the MOH and yet here we are and she basically dismissed it, she was like obviously youre my MOH, who cares what you wear, its just one day. I am considering backing out of the wedding party. WIBTA if I do that?
via Individual-Green-795
Update This has been eating me up a bit and I ended up getting on a call with my bride friend. I had prepared a little bit of a speech because never really confronted her or had an issue with her before and told her I feel really sad and demoted for a photo opportunity and she is not treating me as a best friend, she is prioritizing pictures over relationships, and if she wants
via Individual-Green-795
Mona up there, why not just make her MOH?. My friend told she can not believe i am overreacting over some dresses, and making this a problem. And the only reason i am not first in line is because Mona is taller and she basically arranged us by height, and doubled down on the color scheme, it would suit me more in a darker dress than it would mona. Honestly, that girl could
via Individual-Green-795
pull off anything, if you see her, i mean drop de d gorgeous girl. But clearly, to her i would look ugly in a lighter dress, mind you, i still consider myself pretty, just short and cute pretty. She knows Mona from work she has been at for like over a year, and she has known me from middle school, our friendship is long. Anyway, after listening to her on and on about the vision she had, of them in the middle, and all of
via Individual-Green-795
us standing in basically height order, i said i would like to demote to a guest. She uninvited me from the wedding and offered to pay me for the dress, so another girl she finds can wear it and adjust to her. I said no need, she can have it, my treat.
via Individual-Green-795
A bride and groom posing with the bridesmaid. Featured likenesses do not identify those mentioned.
Dangerous_Ant3260 You've been demoted for an Instagram perfect wedding photo. I would step aside, and not even attend.
via Dangerous_Ant3260
PufferfishInTheFryer So you were demoted from MOH in every way except... financial (I assume). Nope. Don't just back out of the wedding, back out of this friendship. I'm sorry. I know this s ks, but I think you know what should be done. She is not a good friend.
via PufferfishInTheFryer
Superb-Coyote5972 She's not your friend. The whole point is to let everyone look alike, while MOH does the organization. An accent dress should be worn by the MOH if you're doing that. O would back out. No gift, no attending as a guest. Move on.
via Superb-Coyote5972
manxbean It sounds like (I'm betting, because you haven't specifically said) that you're the organised and reliable one and she wants you to do all of those heavy lifting aspects of being MOH, while Mona gets to be the aesthetic de facto MOH. All the plaudits, none of the liabilities
via manxbean
Noodles Mom0722 NTA. You've been replaced in everything but title, so it's time to face the facts that your friend isn't as good of a friend as you think, as aesthetics are more important to her than you are. So, yes, it's time to step down and attend as a guest, if you even still feel like going.
via NoodlesMom0722
Pistachio-IScream yeah if shes up there at the podium with the bride then Mona is either the groom or maid of honor. time to tell the bride "peace out" and be a guest and wear black and a veil while sitting in the stands
via Pistachio-IScream
girlmosh07 I'll never understand brides treating their friends and families as props for their wedding day. It's so vapid and soulless. It's supposed to be a day filled with love and celebration. This is really unkind and unfair to you, OP. I would step down. She does not deserve your labour or support. MOH is a position of honour. She wants all of your work and support without
via girlmosh07
honouring your part in her life and in this wedding. NTA and I'm sorry
via girlmosh07

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article