Woman disappointed with how her friend handles money: ‘It also hit a nerve because I’ve had this issue with family too, where people seem to assume that because I have nice things, I can just absorb costs’

Author image for Olivia Arocena
Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Oct 3, 2026 4:00 PM EDT

I don't think overreacting is the right word for what happened in this story

How a person handles money is as important as how they handle many other things. And knowing how people manage their income is a crucial part of getting to know them.

We all have that friend who is constantly in debt, despite making much more money than us. And in contrast, we all have that friend who manages to save money and travel every year on a minimum wage. It's two sides of the same coin.

Learning to manage money is a long process for some of us who weren't taught from a young age, or who had very bad examples of adults who didn't know how to do it.  

I think taboo plays a big part in this story, because what do you mean you can't tell your friend you need to split a check on the spot and wait until the night is over so you can rant about it on the internet? When you are waiting for your friend to follow up on her offer to pay for the ride home, you should point that out to her.

I'm not saying her friend shouldn't have said something herself; she should have, but she didn't, so someone should point that out. Maybe she had her reasons; who knows? We can't guess. It was definitely her responsibility, but she didn't take it.

OP said her friend earned much less money, and that's fair, but they should've planned how to split the check before going out. If not, it's a scam.

Do you think the friend was actively trying to avoid paying, or was she just ashamed she didn't have enough money to keep up with the other woman's plans?

Situations like the one below should encourage all of us to talk a lot more about money!

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  • Cheezburger Image 10668443392
    via Vanessa Murrieta

    It's not my fault I handle finances perfectly

    Actor performance of story events

  • Am I overreacting for feeling turned off by how my friend handled money during her visit?

    I'm curious how other people would feel about this because I can't tell if I'm being too sensitive or if this would bother most people too. A friend came to visit me in NYC, and this was only our
    via happihustla
  • second time hanging out in person. We have a lot in common and I genuinely liked her, but the way money played out over the last couple of days really turned me off.
    via happihustla
  • For some background, I'm a female, late thirties, financially comfortable and probably come across as pretty well off. I live in Manhattan, own designer bags and shoes, have some expensive watches,
    via happihustla
  • take luxury vacations, and come from a wealthy family/background, so I'm aware the way I carry myself may read as more affluent than average. But I'm not Elon Musk with endless disposable
    via happihustla
  • income. I budget, save, and make choices about where my money goes. I don't go out every weekend or spend recklessly, and having nice things doesn't mean I'm comfortable constantly
    via happihustla
  • absorbing other people's expenses. During her visit, I paid for a round of drinks that was around $70 and also paid for multiple Ubers. The Uber situation is what really got to me. We were going to dinner and I paid
    via happihustla
  • about $40 for the Uber there. I didn't ask her to send me anything for it, and she said she would get the Uber back to her hotel after dinner. When dinner was over, I was kind of looking at her
    via happihustla
  • expecting her to call it since she had already said she would. I said something like, "Okay, let's leave, let's call the Uber," and she was like "okay cool," but then just stayed there scrolling on her phone and waiting. I found
    via happihustla
  • that really odd because it felt obvious that she was waiting for me to be the one to actually book it. It was raining, so Uber had surged to around $60. She then said we were "just going to have to split it," even though she knew I
    via happihustla
  • had already spent $40 getting us there and she had said she'd get the ride back. I told her I didn't want to pay $60 for such a short ride and suggested we wait for the price to go down. She went back to scrolling on Instagram and
    via happihustla
  • still didn't call anything. After sitting there awkwardly, I checked. another rideshare app, found a ride for about $32, and booked it myself because I wanted to leave. I told her I had booked it, and she still didn't ask if
    via happihustla
  • Cheezburger Image 10668443904
    via Viktor Avdeev

    The Ubers are on me

    Stock photo unrelated

  • she could Zelle me anything or offer to cover any part of it. After I dropped her off at her hotel, I still had to Uber myself home, which was another $52. That part is obviously my own transportation and I'm
    via happihustla
  • completely fine paying for that. My issue is that by the end of the day, I had spent about $124 total on Ubers while she had spent $0 on transportation. What also bothered me is that she never once offered to buy me a round
    via happihustla
  • at any of the bars we went to, even when we were having $30 drinks. She never said "you got the last one, I'll get this one," and never asked for my Zelle/Cash App for any of the rides. Meanwhile, earlier that day
    via happihustla
  • she bought a $140 decorative candle/match holder for her coffee table, so it didn't seem like she was in a situation where she literally could not spend money. I also noticed that multiple times she preferred walking 25-
    via happihustla
  • 30 minutes instead of taking the subway or Uber, which made me think she may just be very cost- conscious in general. I'm not someone who likes nickel-and-diming friends. My normal dynamic with friends is one person gets
    via happihustla
  • a round, the other gets the next, one person grabs an Uber, the other gets the next one, and it all kind of evens out naturally. I don't need things to be exactly 50/50. But I do care about reciprocity, and this made
    via happihustla
  • me feel like she was comfortable letting me absorb the extras without really thinking about it. It also hit a nerve because I've had this issue with family too, where people seem to assume that because I have nice things,
    via happihustla
  • I can just absorb costs. Would this bother you too? Would you ask her to send something toward the Ubers, or would you just chalk it up to different money styles and adjust how you handle things going forward?
    via happihustla
  • EDIT: A few people have asked why I had to go back to her hotel after dinner. We had been hanging out all day and I got ready for dinner in her hotel room, so I had left my bag there earlier. I needed to go back with her to pick
    via happihustla
  • it up before heading home for the night. EDIT 2 (Regarding the Ubers): A lot of people are asking why we were taking Ubers instead of the subway. I actually take the subway regularly, like most
    via happihustla
  • New Yorkers. I don't typically spend money on Ubers unless it's late at night, the weather is bad, or it makes more sense logistically. We had been out sightseeing and walking around Manhattan all day,
    via happihustla
  • and by the evening we were dressed up and heading to dinner. It was also raining, which is why Uber prices were surging. After dinner, it was late, and I still needed to return to her hotel to pick up my belongings before making
    via happihustla
  • my own way home. I'm very familiar with NYC public transportation and absolutely could have taken the subway. We simply chose to take a car on those occasions. My issue isn't that Ubers are expensive or that there
    via happihustla
  • were cheaper alternatives. It's that we were both using the rides, I covered the transportation there, she offered to cover the ride back, and then I ended up paying for that one too.
    via happihustla
  • Choosing to take an Uber doesn't mean I was volunteering to cover both people's transportation for the evening.
    via happihustla
  • Paulinfresno Let it go. It's called sunk costs. Next time she wants to visit, say no thanks.
    via Paulinfresno
  • yappypea NOR. I went to visit a friend. She made 7 times my salary and they had no kids. We took turns paying for stuff. Everyone has their own expenses and I would never take advantage of a friend. Your "friend" is an a hole.
    via yappypea
  • Cheezburger Image 10668444416
    via Alexander Mils

    Money shouldn't be taboo

    Stock photography for depiction only

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friendship friends entitled people karma entitled r-entitled toxic relationship entitled people
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