Bridesmaid's boyfriend mocks best friend's wedding and criticizes how much they are spending on it, bride isn't comfortable with him attending anymore: 'Now she's considering dropping out completely'

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Oct 6, 2026 1:00 PM EDT

If you are going to criticize everything, then why bother attending at all?

Weddings are a special celebration where two people, or two families, make an alliance of love and start a new family that is continued by the two families. It is the celebration of the love between two people. Is the moment when people in love who have been dating decide to make official what they feel for each other. In recent decades, weddings have become less and less important to young couples. Nowadays it is not that important to get married at all; being a couple is enough. Moving together feels, to some, like a bigger step than it is to get married. They see the wedding as a party for signing a contract, which it is, but to some people it's more than that. 

Whether you think marriage is a celebration of love or a simple contract, we all accept other people's views. If they don't want to get married to the love of your life, that is perfectly fine. We are not in the 1800s; you are able to decide if you want to get married or not. Marriage is not the only way to prove that you love someone. Nonetheless, some people still find weddings important, and that is also perfectly acceptable. What is not acceptable is to judge what people decide to do. If they want to get married and have a wedding, then good for them; if they don't want any of that, then good for them anyway. 

In this story, the bridesmaid's boyfriend not only decided to criticize the wedding and the money the couple is spending on it, but he also did so with bad jokes that make no one laugh. His attitude is unacceptable for an attendee. Every guest you invite to your wedding costs money, so why invite someone who obviously doesn't want to be there? I cannot understand this bridesmaid for siding with him; he is definitely in the wrong and needs to stop judging other people for what they want to do. Or maybe he just needs to learn to shut up. 

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  • 01

    Am I wrong for telling my bridesmaid she can't bring her boyfriend to my wedding anymore ?

    One of my bridesmaids has been one of my closest friends for years. The problem is that over the last few months, her boyfriend has made several jokes about my wedding being "too expensive" and how my fiancé and I are wasting for "one day". I ignored it because everyone is entitled to their opinion and I didn't want unnecessary drama. Last weekend we were all
    via u/KeiraVelvetRain
  • 02
    A bride with her bridesmaids at her wedding party. Image for illustrative purposes.
    via Kari Bjorn Photography

    A bride with her bridesmaids at her wedding party. 

    Image for illustrative purposes. 

  • 03
    together and he started again. This time he joked that he was mostly for the free food and alc ol and said he'd probably leave early because weddings are boring anyway. I laughed awkwardly at first, but then he kept going and asked how much we were spending. When I refused to tell him, he said something like, "Whatever it is, you'll probably regret it when you could've used that money for
    via u/KeiraVelvetRain
  • 04
    something useful." That one actually hurt. My fiancé and I have been saving for this ourselves. We haven't asked anyone to pay for our wedding and we've spent months planning something that means a lot to us. Later, I told my friend privately that I didn't really feel comfortable having him there anymore. I said I still absolutely
    via u/KeiraVelvetRain
  • 05
    wanted her there, but I didn't want to spend our wedding day wondering if someone sitting there was secretly mocking everything we had worked. She got really upset and said I was basically forcing her to choose between being my bridesmaid and her boyfriend. She said his comments were just jokes and that I was taking them personally because I'm stressed about the wedding.
    via u/KeiraVelvetRain
  • 06
    Now she's considering dropping out completely. That honestly devastated me. I never wanted to lose a close friend over this, and part of me wonder if I should just tolerate him for one day to keep the peace. But another part of me feels like I've spent months ignoring disrespect just because I didn't want to be seen as difficult bride.
    via u/KeiraVelvetRain
  • 07
    Keira VelvetRain OP The issue is I want her to come but I think she'll be saying no if her boyfriend can't come, so it has been a big deal for us, I want her to talk to him, but knowing her, I'm sure she'll just skip this "hard topic" with her bf ... I think I'll have to accept the fact she's not coming and enjoy the wedding with people who made the effort and sacrifice to show up
    via u/KeiraVelvetRain
  • 08
    A bride with her bridesmaids. Recreated scenario included to enhance reader understanding.
    via Joeyy Lee

    A bride with her bridesmaids. 

    Recreated scenario included to enhance reader understanding. 

  • 09
    moodyfish7777 Problem is he won't keep those remarks secret! He'll be spouting them loud and clear through the whole event to EVERYONE! • My guess: His whole problem is girlfriend is probably hinting she's ready for a wedding and he isn't so yours! he's
    via moodyfish7777
  • 10
    divorceevil I suspect he's using your wedding to passively tell your friend/his girlfriend not to expect all this from him as he thinks it's all stupid. It's a way to manipulate and keep her from thinking she's going to have any kind of special day with him. She should listen and get rid of him.
    via divorceevil
  • 11
    ste1071d He sounds like he's a j but... what's more important to you? Him not being there or your friend? She's going to choose the boyfriend.
    via ste1071d
  • 12
    Cuervosh Nta unless you get mad at your friend for dropping out.
    via Cuervosh
  • 13
    Square-Code-652 FAFO. sounds like he opted to not attend the wedding based on his comments. if someone talked about my wedding to either bride/groom, and did it again, they would be politely uninvited. "Hey since your bf has such a problem with the cost of our wedding, and also said repeatedly he did not want to come, we have decided to take him up
    via Square-Code-652
  • 14
    on his offer and save costs on his invite". your friend needs to understand that her BF's behaviour is r de and honestly if that is how he behaves, it's going to be a long road ahead for her.
    via Square-Code-652
  • 15
    DeadBear65 NTA. Let her drop out. Absolutely do not let her boyfriend attend. He's a walking sh show waiting to be triggered.
    via DeadBear65
  • 16
    plsleavemealone2 Nta but this is probably the end of your friendship. She's def choosing her loser boyfriend
    via plsleavemealone2
  • 17
    DollySheep32 yes, You need to have a conversation with her about its her job to shut him down when he makes these "jokes" that no one finds funny. He's being a and its probably coming from a place of insecurity, but is this worth losing a friendship over? NTA if you don't want him there but you'll likely lose a friend.
    via DollySheep32

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Tags

bride bad boyfriend wedding drama bridesmaids uninvited
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