"He's never been a dad to me": Stepfather gets hurt when stepdauhhter choses to have her uncle walk her down the aisle on her wedding day instead of him

Author image for Giuliana Tiscioni
Giuliana Tiscioni • Writer
Oct 10, 2026 8:00 AM EDT

Relationships between step-parents and stepchildren are never easy.

When someone marries a person with children, they not only become a new spouse, but also a new step-parent. And depending on whether the children have the possibility to see their birth parent or not, they will be closer to the new step-parent or simply cohabit the same space. Some other times it doesn't even depend on that. The age of the children, the relationship they have with their birth parents, and many other factors can contribute to how close step-parents can become with their new children. 

This new living arrangement can be more difficult for some, and there's not a single way to handle friction between new members of the family. There's not a set of feelings that is exactly like others either. Some members might feel more connected to their new family, and the rest might feel differently. There's nothing inherently wrong with it. Everybody has a different way of feeling and experiencing relationships, and in this case, the stepdaughter and stepfather were feeling very differently towards each other.

She lost her father when she was 12 years old, and her mother married another man by the time she was 15. Even though this man never adopted her, he took over and even paid for some of her schooling. They get along just fine, but she never thought of him as her father. Now that she's getting married, she asked her uncle, her father's brother, to walk her down the aisle. Suffice it to say that her stepfather was very disappointed. They obviously feel very differently toward each other. 

We can understand why the stepfather was upset, since he's been in her life for quite some time now. But at the same time, no one can ask her to do something she doesn't feel on her own wedding day. They are both entitled to their own feelings, and both sides are valid. The goal here would be for them to have an honest talk and find a solution that doesn't hurt anybody. 

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  • AITA for not inviting my stepfather to walk me down the aisle after he said he "earned" it?

    My dad passed away when I was 12. My mom remarried when I was 15 to "Greg." Greg is a decent guy he provided for us, came to my games, helped pay for my college
    via u/No-Future-1388
  • textbooks. We get along fine, but we're not close. He's never been a "dad" to me. I call him Greg. He's never adopted me. I have my dad's last name and I'm proud of it.
    via u/No-Future-1388
  • كتر
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The girl and her father.

    Picture does not depict real parties.

  • I (27F) am getting married next spring. I asked my uncle — my dad's brother, who walked me
    via u/No-Future-1388
  • through my dad's funeral and has been my father figure ever since — to walk me down the aisle. He cried and said yes.
    via u/No-Future-1388
  • Cheezburger Image 10669579776
    via Curated Lifestyle For Unsplash+

    Bride walking down the aisle.

    Not actual story subjects.

  • When I told my mom and Greg, Greg went quiet. Then he said, "I've been in your life for 12 years. I earned that spot." I said I
    via u/No-Future-1388
  • appreciated everything he's done, but walking me down the aisle is about my dad, and my uncle represents that.
    via u/No-Future-1388
  • Greg said I was "throwing him away" and that he "raised me." My mom is caught in the middle and says I should let Greg do it "to keep the peace." She says my dad "would understand."
    via u/No-Future-1388
  • Cheezburger Image 10669580032
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Greg feeling sad.

    Model portrayal.

  • I said no. I'm not changing this. Greg has barely spoken to me since. My mom says I'm being cruel. My uncle says he'll step aside if it causes problems, but I don't want him to.
    via u/No-Future-1388
  • I'm not trying to hurt Greg. But this moment is mine and it's about my dad. AITA?
    via u/No-Future-1388
  • caro9lina No, you're not the AH; it's your wedding, but it's reasonable for Greg to be hurt. Most people in his position would be hurt. It's
    via caro9lina
  • hard being a stepchild, and it's hard being a stepparent. Life is hard; some things aren't going to work out for people on both sides of an issue.
    via caro9lina
  • yullari27 NTA. You were 15, mostly raised. It's your wedding, your father figure, and your day.
    via yullari27
  • hurtsdunnit Greg stepped in and did everything a dad has to do. Your uncle was there for moments but not the daily.
    via hurtsdunnit
  • It's your day so it's your choice, Greg has every right to feel slighted because he put in the actual work.
    via hurtsdunnit
  • capriciousbird NTA. There is no keeping the piece or compromising here. It's you your wedding day and you are honoring your father.
    via capriciousbird
  • Your mom's husband hasn't "earned it" or raised you really being that you were 15. Tell Greg that your day isn't about him and keep it pushing.
    via capriciousbird
  • Jonathan-Welford NTA- has your uncle done as much as your stepfather? Is your stepfather paying for your wedding? Is your uncle paying for your wedding? Is your stepfather in any part of your wedding party?
    via Jonathan-Welford

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mother walking down the aisle reddit story wedding uncle family step father daughter Reddit step daughter Father
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