Husband demands his wife's mother stay at a hotel after his cousin practically moves in with them after losing her job and installs herself in their guest room

Author image for Giuliana Tiscioni
Giuliana Tiscioni • Writer
Oct 10, 2026 7:15 PM EDT

What do you do when a relative overstays their welcome?

A couple is facing this situation with the husband's younger cousin who lost her job. She went to stay with them for 2 weeks; that turned into 6 weeks. Now, the wife's elderly mother is coming in for a visit (they had arranged that months ago), and the husband and cousin are asking that she go to spend her stay in a hotel instead of in the guest room, as it was promised to her, all because the cousin doesn't want to feel "shipped off."

Now, I've had relatives lose their jobs, make mistakes, feel like their lives are coming apart, and it's okay to go find help from other members of your family. But everything has a limit. None of us has allowed them to overstay their welcome or take advantage of our generosity. If they are grown people, they need to get back on their feet without whining and complaining about feeling rejected. If an elderly member of the family needs help, they are a priority. None of us would dream of telling our mother or grandmother to go stay at some expensive hotel, because the 20-something-year-old cousin now practically lives with us. At least that's how we handle things in my family, and so far, we've felt that it has worked out. 

Helping family who needs a hand is okay and is a way to show them that we love them. But there's a difference between lending a helping hand and letting them behave like kids. This cousin should probably put on her big-girl pants and take control of her own life instead of crying in her bedroom. 

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  • AITA for telling my husband's cousin she has to sleep in the office while my mom visits?

    My mom flies in next week for 10 days and I told my husband's cousin she's sleeping on an air mattress in our office while my mom is here.
    via u/Separate-Love813
  • His cousin was supposed to be in our guest room for 2 weeks while she found a cheaper place to live after losing her job at the end of
    via u/Separate-Love813
  • August, but it's been almost 6 weeks now. Everyone has known about my mom's trip since August. She's literally stayed in that room every fall for years.
    via u/Separate-Love813
  • My husband thinks my mom should get a hotel instead. His reasoning is that his cousin basically lives here now and my
    via u/Separate-Love813
  • Cheezburger Image 10670329088
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The wife and husband disagreeing.

    Photo is a representation of scenes.

  • mom is only visiting. My mom is 68, she booked first, and 10 nights at the hotel near us is about $1,400.
    via u/Separate-Love813
  • I offered to split the cost of a motel for his cousin for those 10 days. She said she'd rather not be
    via u/Separate-Love813
  • Cheezburger Image 10670329600
    via Andrew Karn for Unsplash+

    A motel.

    Representative only.

  • "shipped off," so I told her she can have the office with the air mattress and keep her stuff in the guest room closet.
    via u/Separate-Love813
  • She cried and went to her room. He says I'm making her feel like a burden during the worst year of her life and that I should've let him handle it. AITA?
    via u/Separate-Love813
  • Cheezburger Image 10670329344
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The cousin crying in her bed. 

    Model for explanatory purposes only.  

  • CharKrat When your husband says "his cousin basically lives here now"... remind him she's been there well over the agreed upon 2 weeks.
    via CharKrat
  • RoyalAd5459 NTA lol she was supposed to stay 2 weeks and it's been 6, and your husband wants your
    via RoyalAd5459
  • 68 year old mom paying $1400 for a hotel so his cousin doesn't have to sleep on an air mattress?? nah
    via RoyalAd5459
  • Shutupandplayball NTA and the cousin is a - - burden at this point. OP - take note of your husband's
    via Shutupandplayball
  • comment that "she practically lives here now"... you better have a serious discussion NOW, or the cousin will never move out.
    via Shutupandplayball
  • c_dub_6713 If I was staying with my cousin and his wife for free while I get my stuff together, I'd sleep wherever they need me to sleep.
    via c_dub_6713
  • crazycrockpotlady Lives here now? He's telling you that he gave her permission for an extended stay. They just haven't told
    via crazycrockpotlady
  • you. Her telling you that you should have let him handle it means she expected him to tell you she ain't leaving.
    via crazycrockpotlady
  • Boudicca- I'd be asking my husband WHY EXACTLY he thinks that HIS YOUNG COUSIN, should take precedence Over YOUR ELDERLY MOTHER!! This would be a Hill to di on.
    via Boudicca-

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aita AITAH job mother wife reddit story husband mother in law family Reddit guest room cousins
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