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Picture does not depict real parties.
A family sits around a dinner table sharing food -
AITAH for "ruining" Thanksgiving dinner?
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When my brother (M35) picked me (F37) up at noon, I could tell he was cranky. Which would normally be fine, but when my brother is cranky, he lashes out at everyone around him & makes everyone feel like they are walking around on eggshells.
I asked my SIL why he was cranky & she told me "He didn't want to come because he'll be bored the whole time & couldn't bring his computer."
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02
Image shown for illustrative purposes; person depicted is a model.
A sister confronts her brother in a serious argument
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No matter how old you get, your family is still your family, and sometimes we regress around them. When I'm home and around my family, it's easy to slip back into a more childlike or immature sensibility. In a way, it's a compliment. I feel comfortable around them, so I don't need to work so hard to do adulting all the time. I can be a little bit childish. But in another way, it's not fair to unleash on your family just because they're your family. We should try to be on our best behavior for each other, at least in certain ways.
I don't have siblings, so I can only imagine how these personality clashes can grow over time. If you're not with your siblings all the time, like a lot of adults are, then you might forget what they're really like until you're back in the same room with them. We all have a way of forgetting our flaws until we're put in a setting where everything is liable to combust. Then, in an instant, our true natures are revealed, and we all remember how different we are. It becomes more difficult to overcome your personality when you get older.
I may not have a sibling, but I do have plenty of folks in my life whose personalities I have a limited bandwidth for. Maybe someone just rubs you the wrong way, or you have opposite baggage that makes you insufferable to each other. There is only so much you can do about it. At a certain point, you just have to throw up your hands and remember that you can choose who you hang out with at the end of the day. But family is family, and this one was in the throes of a difficult situation. The sister thought she was doing right by calling out her brother's behavior, and her family thought otherwise. -
Another thing about my brother. Being away from his computer is excruciating for him. He legit can't be away from it for long before he has a meltdown.
So ALL day, he was snapping out on my mom, my dad, his wife and the dogs. Nobody could joke about anything, talk too loudly or have a sliver of fun because he was in a bad mood.
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03 via Vitaly Gariev
Individual pictured is a model used for illustrative purposes.
A man is upset, sitting on steps with head in hands
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The thing is, while my mom, dad & SIL stay quiet when he acts this way, I don't. I don't like being yelled at or being forced to walk around on eggshells all GD day (I mean, who does??) So when he snapped at me, I snapped back. But because I snapped back, he had a tantrum, grabbed his things & took off in his car. Ignored everyone, missed dinner & made my parents & his wife worry about him.
When he came back, he tried to continue being a child, flipping out on everyone for eating without him (They called, left messages, he didn't respond.) Then proceeded to scream in my face that he won't be driving me back home.
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This is where I might have been TA. I screamed back at him, called him a brat & told him he was immature AF and to just go. Leave. I dont care. I don't want to be in a vehicle with that psycho anyways. When he realized that I didn't care, I would find my way back home, HE LOST IT. He screamed at the top his lungs, ran outside screaming, kicking leaves & punching a boat. We legit all stood there and watched him have a complete meltdown for like 10 minutes.
Later on, when he left, leaving me at my parents (At this point I really didn't want to get into a vehicle with him.) My mom told me I should have just not said anything. To ignore his attitude & basically just take it.
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Scene is illustrative and does not depict actual individuals or events.
A man carves a turkey at a thanksgiving table -
But I'm sorry??? What??? He's literally like this BECAUSE nobody ever treated him the way he treated everyone else! My mom babied the absolute EFF out of him his whole life! Everytime he'd act like that or freak tf out, she would just "My poor baby" him & now he's 35 with a wife (I feel sorry for her, because she has to put up with this more than anyone.) & acts like that???? My mom said I ruined Thanksgiving but my dad is adamant that I didn't, which Is ALSO crazy because me & my dad never agree about anything lolol
So AITA? should I have just not said anything?? Honestly if I could go back, I definitely wouldn't say anything. Then maybe we could have all had dinner together & this wouldn't have been a whole thing.
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