Mother-in-law refuses to apologize after she paints over grandkids' doorframe height chart without parents' permission: 'Not even giving it a second thought'

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Oct 23, 2026 3:15 PM EDT

Did you have a doorframe height chart when you were growing up?

There are many childhood traditions that parents really look forward to doing with their kids. They remember how important these moments were for them as children, and they want to ensure their own kids get to experience that excitement as well. Who here doesn't remember the first Christmas they got to sit on Santa's lap at the mall, or the first time they got to go to the beach with their parents? These moments are special, and you carry them with you for as long as you can, at least until you get to create these memories for your kids as well.

Marking your height at the doorframe every few months and getting to see how much you've grown every time you enter your bedroom is also a tradition many kids cherish, and many adults think back to fondly. Every time a family moves, the one thing they always hate to leave behind is that little chart that shows how much the family has grown and evolved. When first-time parents hold their newborn babies for the first time, they can't help but think about the new adventures to come. That little growth chart at home is the perfect manifestation of that.

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  • When the in-law below painted over their grandchildren's growth chart, they essentially erased a family's history that can never be restored. The most frustrating part is that they had no reason to do that. All they were supposed to do was watch the family's dog while they were on vacation, but for some reason, the in-laws decided to give the house a new paint job without permission.

  • In-laws painted over 15 years of charted growth

  • Child measured at doorframe height chart at home
    via Ian Taylor

    Child measured at doorframe height chart at home.

    Image depicted solely for explanatory purposes.

  • As a lot of families do we were charting the growth of our son on his bedroom doorframe. We went away for 24 hours to see Alexandra Capitanescu (who was brilliant and I highly recommend her music). Because we have a dog my in-laws needs our key to get inside and make sure he was being walked and fed.

  • We come back and they've painted over it, not even giving it a second thought as to why they were different ages with lines.

  • I should also say that we didn't give then permission to do anything in our home, they just decided to do it.

  • Personally, I wouldn't let my parents move a plant in my house, let alone do a whole paint job. I don't understand what drove these in-laws to do all that work behind the family's back. Did they think they were going to be thanked? Even if they hadn't painted over the growth chart, painting someone else's house is a huge change to make without asking for permission. What if they didn't like the color? What if they caused damage to the furniture? 

    Boundaries have to be set in this family, and the in-laws should never put their hand on this family's house key ever again. It's time to finally stand up to them and make sure they never do anything like this ever again.

  • Edit for additional information based on repeated things being said.

    I didn't confront them because of multiple reasons. The first being that they weren't at our place when we discovered it. The second being that I don't speak Polish that well and they're Polish.

  • My wife isn't very confrontational so she had a much calmer conversation than I would have had if I were able.

  • It also turns out that my mother in law was very upset and apparently cried last night after she saw it, so it was my father in law on his own who did it, and he did it while she was out walking the dog, which tbh makes him look worse as he waited until she was gone.

    My wife also thinks she can salvage it so here's hoping she can.

  • The in-laws didn't know what they were painting over, but that doesn't excuse the actions. The parents are now really upset that their kids' height history has been painted over, and the kids are understandably just as upset…

    What drives someone to make changes in another's house without even asking them first? All they had to do was take care of the dog, so where did the idea of painting the family's house come from?

  • Father Measuring His Daughter's Height at Home
    via halfpoint

    Father Measuring His Daughter's Height at Home.

    Scene is illustrative and does not depict actual individuals or events.

  • And thanks to everyone who offered advice. I'm sorry for not replying to everyone, I'm not very good socially and l get burnt out easily from too much social stimulation.

  • GH057_807 They just decided to paint over one small portion of your wall that was covered in obvious markings, names, and dates? That's either malicious or they are intensely stupid. I'd never let them in my house again.
    via GH057_807
  • Raymer13 Where's the mildly? Bro, I can't even paint over the former tenants growth lines in my house. I'm still entertaining the idea of getting that piece off the wall and framed somehow for her.
    via Raymer13
  • Salt-Operation We have a measure stick in our family that my grandfather started when my dad and his siblings were born. It now has four generations of our family on it. I can't wait to see the 5th generation added onto it. Your MIL sks big time.
    via Salt-Operation
  • ironicmirror You have to explain their logic of WHY they painted the inside of your house when you were away for 24 hours
    via ironicmirror
  • mrafinch I bet if you complain or voice irritation that they did that, they'd make themselves the victim because they were quote unquote "only helping!!!"?
    via mrafinch

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growth kids house in laws mother in law family parents children
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