26-years-old daughter refuses to pay for parents' anniversary party after they gave away her college fund to help 23-year-old brother's failing business: ‘The money was lost’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Oct 22, 2026 8:00 AM EDT

These parents showed clear favoritism toward their son over their eldest daughter, so the daughter decided to show them what it feels like to be turned down by family. Is it really that hard to treat all your kids with equal respect and love?

 

As the middle child of my family, it was always clear to me who my parents' favorite kid was, and it certainly wasn't me. My parents love all three of us, but it was obvious that they had a special soft spot for my younger sister. She was like royalty in our home, always getting her way and never held accountable for her actions. It used to drive my older sister and me crazy, but no matter what we said, their treatment never changed.

That being said, apart from the lack of discipline, my parents never wanted us to feel like they were favoring one daughter over the other. There was always equality in our household. We got equal allowance, had equal house chores, and even had equal-sized bedrooms. It was really important to my parents that if they gave one daughter something, the others were given something equally as valuable.

They make sure to go by this philosophy to this day. Even though they are willing to admit that my younger sister holds a special place in their hearts, it doesn't affect how they treat all three of us. We all received a college fund when we turned 18, they helped all of us buy our first car, and they gave all of us an equal wedding present. I am very grateful for how they managed to prevent jealousy within the family, especially since I know this is not the case in most families. 

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  • Daughter wearing an academic cap and gown.
    via MD Duran

    Daughter wearing an academic cap and gown.

    Scene is illustrative and does not depict actual individuals or events.

  • This 26-year-old daughter knows for a fact that her parents favor her younger brother, especially since they used the money they saved for her college fund to help her brother's business. She counted on that money, but when she got accepted to college, she found out most of it was gone. Her brother wasted it all on his failing business, and her parents had no intention of ever getting that money back or helping her in any other way.

    A few years have gone by since this debacle, but the daughter did not forget. And now, her parents are asking her for money to fund their 30th wedding anniversary, and she is reluctant to agree. Why should she help them when they failed to help her?

  • AITA for refusing to pay for my parents’ anniversary party after they gave my brother the money they saved for my education?

    I (26F) have been working full-time for the past four years and recently moved into my own apartment.
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  • I'm doing pretty well for myself, but I still budget carefully because I want to save enough money to buy a house someday.
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  • My parents are celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary in a few months, and my mum recently called me to ask if I could contribute towards the
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  • party they're planning. At first, I didn't think much of it. I assumed they wanted help paying for a few things, so I asked how much they needed.
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  • She told me they were hoping I could contribute a fairly large amount because they wanted to invite extended family, book a nice venue, and make the
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  • day special. I told her I'd think about it, but honestly, I was uncomfortable with the request.
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  • Here's why. When I was younger, my parents always told me they were putting money aside to help me pay for university.
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  • They weren't wealthy, but they made it sound like they'd been saving for years, and knowing that gave me some peace of mind.
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  • When I got accepted into university, I found out that most of that money was gone.
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  • Apparently, my younger brother (23M) had decided he wanted to start a clothing business. He convinced my parents to give him the money they'd
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  • for my education because he promised he'd turn it into something successful and eventually pay them back.
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  • This is a clear example of parents who would do everything for one child, yet very little for the other. The fact that they thought it was appropriate to still come to their daughter for favors is what really bugs me. They were the ones who drove a wedge into the family, and the ones who spoiled their relationship with their daughter. Why are they now expecting her to help them, giving them money of all things, is truly unbelievable. 

  • My parents agreed. The business lasted less than a year, and most of the money was lost.
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  • Parents' celebration of their wedding anniversary.
    via Kateryna Hliznitsova

    Parents' celebration of their wedding anniversary.

    Model portrayal.

  • My brother eventually got a regular job, but he never paid my parents back, and nobody really brings it up
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  • I ended up taking out student loans and working part- time to cover my expenses. It was exhausting, but I graduated and slowly paid off what I owed.
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  • What hurt wasn't just losing the money. It was that my parents never really acknowledged how much harder things became for me because of their
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  • decision. Whenever I tried to talk about it, they'd say that my brother had made a mistake and that I needed to stop bringing up the past.
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  • I eventually stopped arguing because I wanted to move forward with my life. Now, years later, my parents are asking me to contribute to a party that
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  • they apparently can't afford on their own. When I asked why they couldn't use their own savings, my mum explained that they'd had some unexpected
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  • expenses and that my dad's retirement savings weren't where they'd hoped they'd be. I suggested having a smaller celebration
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  • Arguing that “they’d spent their entire lives putting their children first”, when they really only put one child first, is really funny to me. I hope their daughter never caves and gives them what they are asking for.

  • She got upset and said they'd spent their entire lives putting their children first, and that they deserved one special day for themselves.
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  • I told her I understood, but I wasn't comfortable spending my savings on an expensive party when I'd had to struggle financially to pay for my own
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  • education. That's when she brought up my brother. She said he'd already offered to contribute a little money, but he couldn't afford much because he
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  • was still trying to establish himself financially. She said
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family drama anniversary family daughter business college parents favoritism
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