Sibling of the groom told the caterer to start serving food without the bride and groom present because they were late from the photos: 'She said I'd taken away a moment they'd spent months planning'

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Oct 31, 2026 1:00 PM EDT

Why would someone feel entitled to dictate when it's time to eat at a wedding that isn't theirs? Sometimes in-laws are the worst!

It's crazy how some families work. It almost seems as if they truly wanted to make each other's lives miserable. Not having a good relationship with your in-laws is common, especially if you are in love with a man. You will hear from them things like "you are not good enough", "he deserved better", "he can do better", "she's after him for his money". Most times, this isn't true at all. I have even heard stories from people being told they were after their loved one's money when they were making twice as much. But families are weird sometimes; they have an idea of what they want for someone, and when you get into the family, it is not what they had planned, so they hate you. It's also common to hear stories about mothers who liked their kid's ex better and would go above and beyond to get them back together. All of this is horrible, but to pretend it doesn't happen would be lying. 

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  • 01
    My brother got married last weekend and I was helping coordinate things at the reception since they didn't hire a wedding planner. After the ceremony, he and his wife went with the photographer to take pictures at a nearby park. They were supposed to be back by 6:30 for their entrance and dinner at 7. By 7:15 they still weren't back.
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  • 02
    A wedding party during the dinner part. Still frame for contextual reference only.
    via Al Elmes

    A wedding party during the dinner part. 

    Still frame for contextual reference only. 

  • In this story, it doesn't seem as if the in-laws' family hated the bride, but they certainly didn't care for what she had planned for the wedding. And what's worse is that the groom seems to be okay with that. The bride planned everything; it's their wedding, so it's normal to expect things to be done how they want. So why does the sister-in-law think that she can make a call like the one she did? This woman, the sister, acted horribly. You are no one to be telling the caterer when to put the food out or to be changing the wedding plans. You are someone who was invited to the wedding; that's it. If you think that it's right for you to make that decision, then you do not respect the bride enough. 

  • 03
    The caterer came to me saying the food was ready and they couldn't keep holding everything without ruining it. We tried calling both of them and got nothing. There were about 90 guests sitting around, including kids and older relatives who'd been there for hours. So I told the caterer to start serving. They finally showed up around 7:45 and people were already
    via Extension-Lab9926
  • 04
    halfway through dinner. My SIL was furious. Apparently she'd planned their entrance, first dance and a short toast before anyone ate. She said I'd taken away a moment they'd spent months planning. My brother thinks I made the practical decision but says I should've waited for permission. His wife hasn't spoken to me since.
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  • 05
    I understand why she's upset, but was I really supposed to let 90 people sit there with food getting cold?
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  • 06
    The plates the caterer serves to the guests.
    via Filipp Romanovski

    The plates the caterer serves to the guests. 

  • I know this could be a situation where the family is always nice to the bride, and this was just a one-time thing. But that doesn't make it correct. Acting like this proves that you do not care for anyone apart from yourself; it is a big show of entitlement. The sister wanted to eat, so she told the staff to serve the food. Who would do that? And, not to undermine, why did the staff let her dictate something like that? I just wish this bride wasn't so sad about the change of plans and could enjoy her wedding party without thinking about all this. The sister sounds like a pain, and the groom defending her actions is crazy. Let's hope everyone takes a look at their actions and realizes why it was wrong to do something like this at someone else's wedding. In the meantime, remember, if it's not your wedding, then you have no say in how things are done. If you want to decide things, then plan your own wedding. 

  • 07
    FoxySlyOldStoatyFox "I'm sorry I didn't ruin the day for everybody; I should have realised you were selfish and/or a congenital moron. I'll happily write a letter to each and every wedding guest individually, from all three of us, telling them that I should have left them to wait an extra hour to 90 minutes of waiting and then being 'entertained' before eating food that had both been burnt and gone cold.
    via FoxySlyOldStoatyFox
  • 08
    That was your vision, and it absolutely would have made for a much more memorable day.” Bit brutal, but if she's going to set fire to your relationship with her then you might as well max out your credit card buying petrol to add to it.
    via FoxySlyOldStoatyFox
  • 09
    SaltyNethers NTA. They didn't hire a planner. They didn't communicate their plans, and they were unreachable when they were ridiculously late. They knew everyone was waiting and didn't care. You made the right call. The bride is the a hole.
    via SaltyNethers
  • 10
    lizziebee66 Right, food hygiene, you can only hold hot food for a certain amount of time and then IT HAS TO THROWN AWAY. Forget spoiling, thrown away. Fancy being so self centred that you don't care that your guests have been left alone and are Hungary and you wanted them to wait even longer when you git back so you can do a grand entrance and then a dance followed by a toast. they wouldn't have started the dance until 8pm and
    via lizziebee66
  • 11
    by the time the toast was done it would have been 8.30pm so two hours late and the food would have to be thrown away
    via lizziebee66
  • 12
    loloannd "...taken away a moment they'd spent months planning." Well, they were over an hour late, so obviously they didn't plan very well. NTA. They were late, no one could get ahold of them, and no one knew about the entrance/dance/toast plan. The bride can be in her feelings, but you made the right call.
    via loloannd
  • 13
    Formal-Message4603 Former caterer here..... I once catered a wedding where the bride and groom still were not back from taking pictures 2 hours after their scheduled mealtime. We cooked everything on site so it was still good (we kept it hot of course) but it was also fried chicken so......ugh.... At the 2 hour mark I had to inform father of the bride (after numerous previous check ins) that our cooks
    via Formal-Message4603
  • 14
    were going to leave and so were we. He threw a holy fit and threatened to not tip us, to which I said I wasn't even worried about that because this was ridiculous, and then he demanded that I get my boss on the phone. Boss said the cooks were leaving but we would stay until everyone got through the line and then we would immediately break down, wrap up the leftovers for them and leave. At two and a half hours they finally
    via Formal-Message4603
  • 15
    arrived. Very few weddings made me go into a rage like that one. **Edit - One of the weddings worse than this, though, was when someone's grandma had a medical emergency and the medics were trying to get through the crowd to where she was on the floor. Wedding planner demanded we keep the buffet line going anyway (small venue, upstairs, pretty much overcrowded... and the medics needed the elevator which we would have had to use to
    via Formal-Message4603
  • 16
    keep bringing food up.) I put my foot down on that one and shut down the dinner and absolutely refused to let anyone through until they got her in the ambulance. Planner was peeved but I wasn't having it.
    via Formal-Message4603
  • 17
    NEPAmama NTA they should have communicated with the caterer, and they probably should have taken far fewer photos while everyone was waiting. If a couple doesn't want to do photos prior to the wedding, it's kind of standard to at least offer apps while they're off getting photographed, and they need to stick to their own schedule or communicate contingency plans.
    via NEPAmama

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family drama bride groom sister in law wedding in laws
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