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25 Times Dads Perfectly Summed Up Parenting In One Hilarious Tweet

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  • 1
    Heat - Dad Thoughts Follow @villarosa100581 Taking my sleeping toddler out of the carseat is like disarming a bomb, except the bomb always explodes. ALWAYS
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    Text - Abe Yospe @Cheeseboy22 I wear a clown mask to sleep just in case one of my kids has a nightmare and comes to sleep in our bed RETWEETS LIKES 712 1,475
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  • 3
    Red - James Breakwell Follow explodingUnicorn [bed time] Me: Your mom told you to stay in bed. 3-year-old: There's a scary monster in my closet Me: Scarier than Mom? 3: "goes to bed*
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    Text - Simon Holland Follow @simoncholland Store clerk: May I help you? Me: I hope so. Sweetie go get your math homework, this nice woman is going to help us.
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  • 5
    Natural foods - Henpecked Hal eHenpeckedHal Follow For someone I've had to physically restrain from eating dog shit, my son is awfully particular about which grapes he's going to eat.
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  • 6
    Text - Simon Holland @simoncholland It's weird how we tell kids not to lie then tell them how good the picture they drew is. RETWEETS LIKES 471 1,058
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    Text - Henpecked Hal Follow @HenpeckedHal Want to survive as a parent? I hope you can multitask. Right now I'm watching the game AND ignoring both kids.
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  • 8
    Text - The Hypothetical Follow @TheHyyyype WIFE: it's your turn to change the baby. he left you a little present haha ME: "opens diaper* how the hell did he get an x box in there??
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  • 9
    Text - Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn finally gets the car seat installed correctly] Me: Where's the baby? Wife: In college RETWEETS LIKES 4,702 2,371
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  • 10
    Text - Brian Gaar @briangaar The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate RETWEETS LIKES 3,769 10,741
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  • 11
    Text - The Glad Stork @TheGladStork I cut the crust off my daughter's PB&J and I swear to god I heard her whisper that I'm her bitch now. RETWEETS LIKES 319 553
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  • 12
    Text - Real American Dadass Follow @R A Dadass There needs to be a Robin Hood like person, who steals energy from kids and gives it to their parents.
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  • 13
    Text - Dad Bits Follow @DadBits They say, having a child is like having your heart walk around outside your body tear drop* Of course, sometimes it's also like having your fart walk around outside your body.
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  • 14
    Text - Cinco de Meh @TheAlexNevil Parents: don't give your child the answers to his homework. He needs to learn on his own that you don't know what you're talking about. RETWEETS LIKES BRF 346 579
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  • 15
    Text - James Breakwell Follow aXplodingUnicorn [camera shows the crowd at a basketball game] 3-year-old: That's a lot of people. Me: Yeah 3: Where are their moms?
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  • 16
    Text - eric Follow @ericsshadow My youngest is being tested for the gifted program at his elementary school and my other son thinks his toothbrush is haunted.
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  • 17
    Text - Ryan P Follow @adelaidedadblog Thought my daughter was being super beautiful in asking for a hug and cuddle- but she just wanted to fart in my ar Awesome.
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  • 18
    Text - James Breakwell Follow eXplodingUnicorn Me: Take a nap 3-year-old: I can't Me: Why not? 3: I'm too tired Makes sense.
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  • 19
    Text - DadlsProbablyWrong DadlsProbWrong Follow As a parent, do you remember that moment when everything is calm, nobody is hurt, nothing is broken, and you can just take a big sigh of relief? Yeah, neither do I. I just figured it would be a nice thought experiment.
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  • 20
    Text - Dad Thoughts Follow @villarosa100581 When (not if) the zombie virus gets unleashed, ground zero is probably going to be at my toddler's daycare.
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  • 21
    Natural foods - mark Follow @TheCatWhisprer Let's get married and have kids so instead of hanging out at a block party on St. Patricks's Day we can get up early and do groceries before the traffic gets too bad.
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  • 22
    Dish - Dad Thoughts Follow @villarosa100581 If washing mac n' cheese out of your hair (or someone else's) sounds fun, then congratulations! You're ready to be a parent!
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  • 23
    Toilet seat - Real American Dadass Follow R ADadass Congratulations on the birth of your son, and your bathroom smelling like urine for the rest of your life.
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  • 24
    Text - 75 % Jack's Dad Follow DaddingAround If you can randomly shout the word "careful" without looking up from your phone then you can be a parent. Probably not a good one, but a parent nonetheless.
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