Guy Posts Epic Clumsy Fail Story On Reddit and It's Just Hilarious

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  Via TheFlyingPigSquadron
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  He didn't disappoint!

  

  "So as promised, the freezer story.

  So back in 2009 I left high school and had the summer before heading off to Uni. Since the majority of my friends were going to scatter across the globe come September we decide on a group holiday to one of the Canary Islands.

  Holiday is going well with no major incidents. I did get dunked once in the pool; panicked, could not find up and propelled head first into the floor of the pool. You know standard stuff. At some point about three days before we were to fly home most of us were running low on funds, so we bought a bunch of foodstuff to cook for ourselves instead of eating out. Now the fridge/freezer combo in the villa had the larger fridge section at the bottom and a smaller freezer area above. Since 10 of us were trying to cook at once both the fridge and freezer sections were constantly being opened and closed."

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  "Have you ever left a freezer opened for an extended period of time, closed it, then tried to reopen it? Yeah, the jaws of life struggle. So I go to open the freezer and it's had enough of being opened and closed, it's tired, it's grumpy and it's fucking staging a sit in. Negotiations broke down fairly quickly, as the freezer already had hostages. I, with my false sense of bravado decided, the fuck am I being beaten by a freezer door (spoiler alert; I was beaten by a freezer door). So I braced my foot against the fridge door and hulked out on the freezer door. The door, not expecting a full frontal assault by a wannabe member of the Avengers, opened.

  I was not prepared for this."

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  "As a result, the freezer door swiftly punishes me with a jab to the face. I dropped like a sack of spuds. Luckily or unluckily, it walloped me in the forehead and the bridge of my nose at an angle so I didn't actually break my nose. Though it bloody felt like it. A few hours later I look like a cross between a demented panda and cat women. Both my nose and forehead felt like the nerve ending were re-enacting the entire skirmish, and the swelling meant my eye was being swallowed by my face. So two of the guys decided that the hospital was the next tourist attraction on my list and off we went. Explaining to the doctor was fine, though he was confused at first, until one of the guys with me mimed the saga out on a medicine cupboard. Then it was just bloody hilarious. I think the nurse thought the bigger of the two guys with me had hit me. Doctor gave me care instructions and a bottle of pain killers. Though hindsight suggests they were not painkillers. We called a taxi and I popped two of the pills and got in the car."

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  "Guys I don't know what those pills were, but I don't remember anything after taking them. Nothing. Apparently I was screech/singing the opening lines of The Lion King in the backseat of the taxi. For the whole 40min return trip. I was also told I made a beeline for the pool claiming "It's ok, I'm half panda now. I can breathe underwater". I took all the books off the bookshelf and hid them in everyone's pillow cases, I also hid beneath one guy's bed. There is also video (that will never see the light of day so don't ask) of me slow dancing with a deck chair while screeching The Righteous Brothers, Unchained Melody. I don't remember a damn thing; all I know is I woke up the next morning on my bed, fully clothed, without shoes and little daisy like flowers had been place between my toes.

  TL, DR: Lost a fight with a freezer door resulting in a hospital visit and a prescription resulting in memory loss."

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  "EDIT: A couple of people have mentioned how quickly I went from taking the pills to Disney show tunes. All I can say is that everything I wrote about after getting in the taxi is second hand, my friends told me what I'd done, though there was some video. For all I know I was perfectly fine for the first 20mins of that taxi ride before things got Disney and they just said "yeah, you were doing xyz for the whole ride". I basically just told you what they told me. I hope this clears things up for some people. A big thank you goes out to /u/DanRowan, who took the time to edit my spelling and grammar. Also a big thank you goes out to whoever gilded this post."

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