CheezCake

Guy Posts Epic Clumsy Fail Story On Reddit and It's Just Hilarious

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    Text - OA 72% E 01:07 Today, I fucked up... by flicking my hair So this morning I jumped in the shower and decided to wash my hair. I have very long and curly hair that reaches midway down my back. However, once its wet the curls straighten out and my hair almost reaches my bum So hair is wet, shampooing done and I just need to rinse. I tip my head back and flip my hair over my shoulder ala shampoo adverts everywhere. And feel something brush against the top of my bum. Being the mature and logic
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    Text - 72% 01:08 This in itself was a spectacular feat of physics as there isn't actually enough room in my bathroom for a toddler to do the splits, never-mind a 5'9" half drowned rat. As a result, when my leading foot came into contact with the toilet pedestal my body was launched back along the floor towards the shower. This left me wedged between the toilet and the shower tray. Where I was abruptly bitch-slapped by the shower door. One trip to A&E later and I have a sprained ankle, a fracture
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    Text - 72% 01:08 UPDATE: So because I'm a special little unicorn my broken toes and fractured ankle opposite feet therefore I'm now rockin are on a bitchin new wheelchair (well not new, it's the NHS and its Scotland). Also my flat is upstairs so it might as well be on Everest, so I'm at my parents bungalow until my sprain is well enough for me to find another way to fuck it up. I've had the wheelchair for about 6hrs now and have bounced it off every door frame in the house and scuffed two of the
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    Text - 72% 01:08 if they hadn't been secured in a locked and upright position) and cracking my head on the fireplace. I'm now on my back doing the world's worst impression of an upside down turtle with a cast and now a head wound. My 19yr old, apparently adult brother is trying to crawl to the bathroom before pisses himself laughing. So now I'm back in A&E waiting to get glued back together. TL, DR: Was challenged to a wheelchair wheelie which resulted in; me becoming gravity's bitch again, a gr
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    Text - O 72% 01:08 I would have attempted to swing from them and/or use them as pirate swords. Though most likely both So I thought I'd check Reddit on the way home and holy shit. I was not expecting this response!! I just thought a few people would stop to point and laugh at the clumsy twat and move on. I caught wee bro before he left for work and showed him, he told me "you need to tell them the freezer story, that was just fucking insane". So after I've caught some sleep, read all the comment
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    He didn't disappoint!

    Text - So as promised, the freezer story. So back in 2009 I left high school and had the summer before heading off to Uni. Since the majority of my friends were going to scatter across the globe come September we decide on a group holiday to one of the Canary Islands. Holiday is going well with no major incidents. I did get dunked once in the pool; panicked, could not find up and propelled head first into the floor of the pool. You know standard stuff. At some point about three days before we we

    "So as promised, the freezer story.

    So back in 2009 I left high school and had the summer before heading off to Uni. Since the majority of my friends were going to scatter across the globe come September we decide on a group holiday to one of the Canary Islands.

    Holiday is going well with no major incidents. I did get dunked once in the pool; panicked, could not find up and propelled head first into the floor of the pool. You know standard stuff. At some point about three days before we were to fly home most of us were running low on funds, so we bought a bunch of foodstuff to cook for ourselves instead of eating out. Now the fridge/freezer combo in the villa had the larger fridge section at the bottom and a smaller freezer area above. Since 10 of us were trying to cook at once both the fridge and freezer sections were constantly being opened and closed."

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    Text - Have you ever left a freezer opened for an extended period of time, closed it, then tried to reopen it? Yeah, the jaws of life struggle. So I go to open the freezer and it's had enough of being opened and closed, it's tired, it's grumpy and it's fucking staging a sit in. Negotiations broke down fairly quickly, as the freezer already had hostages. I, with my false sense of bravado decided, the fuck am I being beaten by a freezer door (spoiler alert; I was beaten by a freezer door). So I br

    "Have you ever left a freezer opened for an extended period of time, closed it, then tried to reopen it? Yeah, the jaws of life struggle. So I go to open the freezer and it's had enough of being opened and closed, it's tired, it's grumpy and it's fucking staging a sit in. Negotiations broke down fairly quickly, as the freezer already had hostages. I, with my false sense of bravado decided, the fuck am I being beaten by a freezer door (spoiler alert; I was beaten by a freezer door). So I braced my foot against the fridge door and hulked out on the freezer door. The door, not expecting a full frontal assault by a wannabe member of the Avengers, opened.

    I was not prepared for this."

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    Text - As a result, the freezer door swiftly punishes me with a jab to the face. I dropped like a sack of spuds. Luckily or unluckily, it walloped me in the forehead and the bridge of my nose at an angle so I didn't actually break my nose. Though it bloody felt like it A few hours later I look like a cross between a demented panda and cat women. Both my nose and forehead felt like the nerve ending were re-enacting the entire skirmish, and the swelling meant my eye was being swallowed by my face.

    "As a result, the freezer door swiftly punishes me with a jab to the face. I dropped like a sack of spuds. Luckily or unluckily, it walloped me in the forehead and the bridge of my nose at an angle so I didn't actually break my nose. Though it bloody felt like it. A few hours later I look like a cross between a demented panda and cat women. Both my nose and forehead felt like the nerve ending were re-enacting the entire skirmish, and the swelling meant my eye was being swallowed by my face. So two of the guys decided that the hospital was the next tourist attraction on my list and off we went. Explaining to the doctor was fine, though he was confused at first, until one of the guys with me mimed the saga out on a medicine cupboard. Then it was just bloody hilarious. I think the nurse thought the bigger of the two guys with me had hit me. Doctor gave me care instructions and a bottle of pain killers. Though hindsight suggests they were not painkillers. We called a taxi and I popped two of the pills and got in the car."

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    Text - Guys I don't know what those pills were, but I don't remember anything after taking them. Nothing. Apparently I was screech/singing the opening lines of The Lion King in the backseat of the taxi. For the whole 40min return trip. I was also toldT made a beeline for the pool claiming "It's ok, I'm half panda now. l can breathe underwater". I took all the books off the bookshelf and hid them in everyone's pillow cases, I also hid beneath one guy's bed. There is also video (that will never se

    "Guys I don't know what those pills were, but I don't remember anything after taking them. Nothing. Apparently I was screech/singing the opening lines of The Lion King in the backseat of the taxi. For the whole 40min return trip. I was also told I made a beeline for the pool claiming "It's ok, I'm half panda now. I can breathe underwater". I took all the books off the bookshelf and hid them in everyone's pillow cases, I also hid beneath one guy's bed. There is also video (that will never see the light of day so don't ask) of me slow dancing with a deck chair while screeching The Righteous Brothers, Unchained Melody. I don't remember a damn thing; all I know is I woke up the next morning on my bed, fully clothed, without shoes and little daisy like flowers had been place between my toes.

    TL, DR: Lost a fight with a freezer door resulting in a hospital visit and a prescription resulting in memory loss."

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    Text - EDIT: A couple of people have mentioned how quickly I went from taking the pills to Disney show tunes. All I can say is that everything I wrote about after getting in the taxi is second hand, my friends told me what l'd done, though there was some video. For all I know I was perfectly fine for the first 20mins of that taxi ride before things got Disney and they just said "yeah, you were doing xyz for the whole ride". I basically just told you what they told me. I hope this clears things u


    "EDIT:
    A couple of people have mentioned how quickly I went from taking the pills to Disney show tunes. All I can say is that everything I wrote about after getting in the taxi is second hand, my friends told me what I'd done, though there was some video. For all I know I was perfectly fine for the first 20mins of that taxi ride before things got Disney and they just said "yeah, you were doing xyz for the whole ride". I basically just told you what they told me. I hope this clears things up for some people. A big thank you goes out to /u/DanRowan, who took the time to edit my spelling and grammar. Also a big thank you goes out to whoever gilded this post."

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    Text - Video. I will definitely not be posting the video. Right now I feel safe knowing I am faceless and nameless, no one could pick me out of a crowd, which is especially comforting after receiving some rather mean PMs. If I post that video, the feeling goes away There is also the fact that it contains rather a lot of identifying material and I don't have permission to post it from the other people in it. I've had more than a few nasty PMs regarding my writing abilities, which to be honest has

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