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19 Tweets & Posts By People Who Will Probably Stay Single Forever

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  • 1
    Clothing - Cam Salamone Follow @whamitscam When people ask why I'm single FEW CA AFFORD IM A TUXURY 4:13 PM 17 Sep 2016 1,438 Retweets 2,056 Likes
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  • 2
    Product - Ugly Naked Guy Follow @Femi 17 When people ask about my Love Life> NEWS 24 THERE IS NO NEWS 1132 8:35 AM - 17 Aug 2015 376 Retweets 56 Likes
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  • 3
    Text - Reczit Follow @reczit Eighty seven percent of single people are single because they don't want to share their pizza with anyone. 10:10 PM - 18 Dec 2015 351 Retweets 389 Likes
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  • 4
    Text - Pin Up Teacher @pinupteacher Follow Someone asked me if I'm ever scared that I'll be alone forever, which I thought was so rude because my dog was RIGHT THERE 12:56 PM - 7 Dec 2014 488 Retweets 1,007 Likes
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  • 5
    Text - Sam Grittner Follow @SamGrittner Being single is the best. So much time to do what you want. Think and reflect. Stare into the void and try to remember what touch felt like. 1:32 PM - 1 Sep 2016 344 Retweets 626 Likes
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  • 6
    Text - karl from down in the morgue Follow @kala5000 me: I want a relationship!! someone: hi I'd like a relationship with you me: Begone, vile man! Begone from me! 9:02 AM 7 Feb 2017
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  • 7
    Text - Tsume Follow @TsumeAlphaWolf When a friend asks me when was the last I got laid time Picture it. Sicily, 1912 3:12 AM - 23 Feb 2016 71 Retweets 129 Likes
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  • 8
    Text - Mike Bianchi Follow @Mike_Bianchi Tired of being single? Just lower your standards a bit. My new girlfriend is a coconut taped to a mop. 4:50 PM -31 Dec 2015 2,254 Retweets 4,469 Likes
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  • 9
    Text - courtney @ocourtneyno Follow I'm single by choic...of others. 11:01 AM - 27 Aug 2012 772 Retweets 1,270 Likes
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  • 10
    Text - tumblr. Follow annmariexrose Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive. Source:annmariexrose 1,123,797 notes
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  • 11
    Text - Angie Davis 's peen Follow @AngieDavisHaha You can tell how single I am by the way my cat and dog wear their sombreros with quiet dignity and acceptance. 7:17 PM - 30 Jan 2014 287 Retweets 642 Likes
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  • 12
    Text - tumblr. Follow asstroslut IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER YOU GOTTA tell me really explicitly because I can't tell when people are actually flirting with me 580,070 notes
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  • 13
    Text - Bob Vulfov Follow @bobvulfov ME: im sick of being single FRIEND: want me to set u up with someone? ME: absolutely not, i'd have to put on pants & talk. no thank u 11:48 AM 19 Nov 2015 255 Retweets 535 Likes
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  • 14
    Text - Mary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo Follow Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant 11:00 PM - 4 Nov 2012 422 Retweets 1,642 Likes
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  • 15
    Text - Jebby Follow @Jennuflect [me as a DJ] Where my single ladies at? *drunk responses* This one's for you *turns off music, serious tone This is a bad place to meet men 4:56 PM - 18 Sep 2015 9,610 Retweets 18,098 Likes
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  • 16
    Text - tumblr. Follow jnue kinda want a boyfriend kinda wanna hook up with a boy kinda wanna never talk to any boys ever #all my guy friends suck #i had a crush on one but now im like???? ur annoying #and theyre all gross #god send me a nice boy #mine 389,805 notes
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  • 17
    Text - whyimsingle neighborhoodspaceman tumblr. Follow robdowneyjr DREAM DATE: take me to barnes and noble, give me $500, leave. wearetherebirth DREAM DATE: Take me to LUSH, give me $500, leave. biggerteeth DREAM DATE: Give me $500 dollars. Leave. mona-malnorowski DREAM DATE: Paypal me $500. Never be physically within 100 miles of me. Source:rachelfinkle 311,903 notes
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  • 18
    Selfie - Christian Follow @killaxchristian *sees friend at party arguing on the phone with their significant other* me and my single self. "You good?" 12:15 PM - 8 Nov 2015 1,046 Retweets 2,151 Likes
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  • 19
    Text - Hitmonjake Follow @jakelikesnaps Her: are you single? [flashback to 2011 where I tried to kiss a girl but she turned away and I kissed her cheek] Me: haha idk 7:19 PM - 4 Aug 2014 420 Retweets 1,001 Likes
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