Breaking News: New Study Shows That if You're Reading This While High, You're Likely Suffering Brain Damage Right This Second

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Furthermore, the study found that:

- You're likely going to choke on your next bite of that Chipotle burrito.
- That paranoia you're feeling is probably because the cops just knocked at your door.
- You should find a blankey and lay down on the floor for the next 15 minutes.

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