So, There's a Presidential Candidate Named "Deez Nuts" Who Has 9 Percent of the Vote in North Carolina So Far

• 01

  For a while, no one could figure out his identity.
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• 02

  All they knew is that he had snatched up 9% of voter support in North Carolina as of this week.

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• 03

  No, really.
• 04

  Naturally, he is running as an Independent (I) candidate, because Deez Nuts belong to no one.

  There was a problem rendering this tweet - it may have been deleted.
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• 05

  He even filed a formal statement of candidacy in Iowa.

  
  via Federal Election Commission
• 06

  And yes, it's his legal campaign name.
• 07

  We see men who try to get the country swimming in the right direction all the time.

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  Sometimes they just need a little something more to egg them on.
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• 08

  At this point in time, we need a vasly deferent type of presidential candidate.

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• 09

  Someone who isn't afraid to tell the rest of those jerks off.
• 10

  Someone who won't shrivel up in the face of adversity.

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• 11

  Fortunately, we now have that man.

  
  via The Hill
• 12

  6% of Americans know what's best for America.

  
  via Public Policy Polling
  Another 81% are still just in their "pre-favorable" phase.
• 13
  
  via The Daily Beast
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• 14
  
  via The Daily Beast
• 15

  Oh, believe me, it sounds oh so right.

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