FAIL Blog

Bored-At-Work Friend Texts Super Imaginative Tale

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    Text - To: Colin Details Today, 6:42 PM I'm bored, tell me a story! Hmmmmmm Once upon a time there was an evil goblin king that sought to destroy the world. Oh no! He had almost everything he needed to do so, except the Nightingale Sapphire, which would help to focus his death beam into the heart of the world. Destroying it from the inside out All that stood between him and it were three teenagers and their pet otter! Yes! Otter power! They had a map that would help them recover the sapphire bef
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    Text - But the goblin king also had a map! His lieutenant had once posed as a friend of the three teens using ancient goblin illusions! He convinced the teens to show him the map and copied it in secret Tricksy goblinses! Goblins can be tricksy, but they aren't always smart. Before he brought the map to the king, he revealed himself to the teens in order to gloat about how smart he was. So they knew that it would be a race to get to the sapphire. Oh this is getting intense. So they packed all th
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    Text - I'm going on anadventure! The first part of the journey was relatively uneventful. The teens spent most of their day walking and it was rather boring. But the otter kept them entertained as only otters know how. By swimming and being adorable? Exactly! As if by magic, there was a river that was always next to them, so the otter could always play in the water. As they neared the stronghold that the ancient monks had hidden the sapphire in, their journey got more difficult. Dun dun duuutuun
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    Text - What is the otter's name? The otter, whose name was Kevin, knew that they would have to be extra careful when trying to cross the lake. It was too big to go around. #TeamKevin The teens searched all around the area for materials that would withstand the heat to make a bridge or boat. All hope seemed lost, until Kevin found something half buried in the ground! It was an ancient anti-lava hovercraft!!!! "What are the chances?" the teens yelled! But of course, not all their problems were sol
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    Text - boarded the hovercraft, they noticed coming over a hill not far off a horde of goblins! Gasp* The quickly set out across the lake, figuring it would slow the goblins down, but to their dismay, the goblins had foreseen the lake of lava and brought their own goblin hovercraft Two hovercrafts were setting out from the far side of the lake as the teens landed. Trevor, the oldest of the three, had a brilliant idea and set the hovercraft speeding back towards the goblins. It struck one of their
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    Text - Ew But there were still more goblins coming, so the teens knew they couldn't linger any longer. As they crested the next hill, they could the the sapphire stronghold. It was surrounded by a large moat filled with alligators and sharks! Alligator vs. Shark? I think I've seen this movie! Only a small plank traversed the most to the door of the stronghold. The sharks would jump, hitting it so that all who passed would fall into the moat, where the Sharks and gators would eat them. They liked
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    Text - on their tracks, Kevin bravely dove into the moat! Go, Kevin, go!!! #TeamKevin Using his incredible otter agility and speed, he outmaneuvered the sharks and all the gators until he found the largest gator and punched him in the eye! This of course won the gator's respect and admiration, that a seemingly puny otter could be so brave and challenge the lead gator so boldly. He promised that the sharks would not attack the beam while the teens crossed. But if they fell in on their own, he cou
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    Text - No, run, Kevin! Kevin's tail just disappeared into the stronghold when the goblins arrow struck the door. He was safe! Phew.That was close One by one the goblins tried to cross. By the Sharks continually knocked them into the water But there were so many that the sharks and gators were getting full quickly In the end, 4 goblins managed to get inside the stronghold Meanwhile, the teens and Kevin had eluded the traps of the monks and made it deeper and deeper into the hold. They knew they w
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    Text - optimistic that they would save the world. I do like this world, I hope they succeed. They entered the final room and saw the sapphire on its altar. They all started cheering and Kevin got ready to go eat it When suddenly he was grabbed by w goblin! No! Not Kevin! He started squeaking and crying cause the goblin was squeezing him. Today, 7:25:55 PM The teens knew that if Kevin was hurt, they wouldn't be able to save the world. So they turned to face the goblins. I can't take the suspense!
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    Text - They drew their swords and charged at the goblins. The three not holding Kevin advanced on the teens with their own swords drawn. They clashed in a loud and epic battle. The teens would gain the upper hand only to start losing to the goblins. It was a back and forth the likes of which will never be seen again However, the goblins seemed to be gaining the win! Kevin let out one last great squeak which reinvigorated the spirit of the teens. Each striking down their goblin with style Then al
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    Text - The three teens knelt over him, wishing him to move. Crying as they did. Naturally, there tears falling on Kevin activated his water-based healing abilities that all otters are known to have! He jumped up and did a flip. The teens cheered and shouted with joy! Quickly, Kevin ran to the sapphire and gobbled it up in one swift motion! He began to glow and float into the air, twirling and flipping as he did gand as they pet him, he goblin kings castle. The teens Today, 7:34:30 PM teleported
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    Text - Although it was tiny, the squeak was incredibly powerful. All the goblins' heads began to explode. The king watched in dismay as his kingdom came undone before his head also exploded! Serves them right! Good job, Kevin After defeating the evil king and all the goblins of the kingdom, Kevin and the teens returned to their village. All the world over, people heard stories passed around of the brave and powerful otter who had saved their lives Kevin lived happily ever after as the protector

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