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01
Oreos quickly become NOOOOOreos when you print a veggie on the bag. Don’t freak, they’re just mint. But your kids won’t know, and this ought to put off most miniature snack addicts.
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02
Regular chips masquerading as an adults-only treat = clever. “Sorry, kiddo. It’s got alcohol in it. Can’t share with you until you’re 21 or older!”
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03
It wouldn’t actually be spicy at all, of course. You could even add to the deception by blowing on your spoonfuls as if they were piping hot, because honestly… kids are gullible as heck.
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04
Uh-uh! Caffeine’s not good for you, sweetie.” Tell them it’ll stunt their growth, or simply point out that they’re already horrifically bad at being sleepy when they’re actually supposed to be sleeping.
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05
You don’t have to know why it’s poisonous to children but not to adults. All you have to do is shrug and point out that it’s printed right there on the package. You’re not the FDA, so tough luck.
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06
“These are just for me! Doctor’s orders!” You can write your own name or simply “Mom & Dad” because kids aren’t pharmacists and, like I said, they’re pretty easily fooled
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