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The Reality Of Date Nights After Marriage Summed Up In 16 Hilarious Tweets

At the beginning of a relationship, date night might mean putting on a cute outfit, heading out to a cool restaurant and engaging in some interesting conversation every Friday night. Once you have a handful of years of marriage under your belt, date nights start looking a little different.... 

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  • 1
    Text - Sarcastic Mommy Follow @sarcasticmommy4 My husband asked if I wanted to go on a date & then we laughed & laughed & went to Costco. 9:34 PM -21 May 2018 240 Retweets 1,484 Likes
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  • 2
    Text - Grant Tanaka Follow @GrantTanaka wife & I started scheduling date night between midnight & 7am, we just sleep the whole time, but at least we're doing something together 6:40 PM - 10 Aug 2018 261 Retweets 1,142 Likes
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  • 3
    Text - "Bare Minimum Parenting" come... Follow @XplodingUnicorn Me: We should have a date night next weekend. Wife: A babysitter will cost $150. Me: We should have a date night when the kids move out 7:30 AM - 12 Dec 2016 SG 253 Retweets 2,549 Likes
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  • 4
    Text - Grant Tanaka Follow @GrantTanaka [kids gone for the evening] wife: DATE NIGHT??? me: DATE NIGHT!!! [we fall asleep watching 60 minutes] 6:48 PM -15 Oct 2017 192 Retweets 639 Likes
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  • 5
    Text - Caleb McDonald @squeeeeeak Follow You know date night was extra lit when you end up shopping the clearance section at target 6:08 PM - 24 Jun 2017 12 Retweets 29 Likes
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  • 6
    Text - Sarcastic Mommy Follow @sarcasticmommy4 Me getting ready for date night: Shower, make dinner for kids, try to put make up on, get kid a snack, try to put make up on again, do my hair, referee sibling fight, get dressed My husband: Sits in a chair & asks why I'm not ready yet. 5:30 PM -4 Aug 2018 304 Retweets 2,261 Likes
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  • 7
    Text - Amy Dillon Follow @amydillon DATING: I thought it was sad when I'd see a married couple at a restaurant not talking. MARRIED: We carry on an entire conversation about the couple on a date at the table next to us using only our eyebrows. 6:39 PM - 18 Feb 2018 598 Retweets 3,854 Likes
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  • 8
    Text - MotherPlaylist @MotherPlaylist Follow My husband and I shouted at the kids to go back to bed at the same time and that's the closest we've come to a date night in weeks. 3:36 PM - 13 Sep 2018 153 Retweets 829 Likes
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  • 9
    Text - Celeste Yvonne Follow @andwhatamom Date night mostly consists of checking the time for when the kids should be in bed so we can go back home 9:33 AM -26 Jul 2017 9 Retweets 22 Likes
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  • 10
    Text - Will Rodgers Follow @William Rodgers Friday nights.. Single: I'm going to the bar! Dating: Wanna go to the bar? Married: Can I go to the bar? Married w/ Kids: Pottery Barn? 7:39 PM - 11 Sep 2015 460 Retweets 1,070 Likes
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  • 11
    Text - Lurkin' Mom Follow @LurkAtHomeMom [First Date] Ihope he brings me somewhere nice 9 yr anniversary] DID YOU USE THE CASH BACK ON DINING CARD? WHERE'S THE COUPON I GAVE YOU 5:30 PM - 23 Sep 2017 91 Retweets 346 Likes
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  • 12
    Text - Lady Lawya Follow @Parkerlawyer My husband and I are going to dinner tonight and when we finished getting ready he was wearing shorts and a T-shirt and I am wearing a black dress. Tenses are important in this tweet. 2:10 PM 11 Aug 2018 177 Retweets 1,565 Likes
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  • 13
    Text - Housy Wife @wife_housy Follow Me after date night with Hubs: Ugh, I'm going to change into something more comfortable *takes off going-out yoga pants, puts on staying-in yoga pants 6:03 PM - 24 Mar 2018 66 Retweets 200 Likes
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  • 14
    Text - Haunted Living for Hot Messes Follow @HLFHM Last night I had a date night with my husband, and it was great to talk about what groceries we need, how our physical bodies are deteriorating and the acceptable ways to fold shit in a completely different setting which also cost us money 7:13 AM - 28 Jul 2018 553 Retweets 3,933 Likes
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  • 15
    Text - Mr. Peel Follow @Rlpihl i'll have the chicken finger platter & my lovely wife will have *hands over coupon something of equal or lesser value 8:47 AM - 19 Nov 2015 INFIER ATIN 964 Retweets 2,145 Likes
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  • 16
    Text - The Fantastic Mr.Fox Follow @Camel_Crushin Marriage is basically just texting each other "Idk" when asked about dinner until one of you finally says "fuck it, let's go to Chili's" 5:20 PM - 8 Jan 2016 53 Retweets 102 Likes
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