15 Hilarious Old Lady Twitter Moments To Make You Laugh And Cry All Over Your Doilies

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mattstaff
Oct 17, 2018 7:00 PM EDT

Definitely laughed way harder than I should've at this. 

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  • 01
    Text - Myrna Tellingheusen @PearlsFromMyrna Doris acts like a prima donna ever since she received her Big Lots loyalty rewards card.
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  • 02
    Text - Myrna Tellingheusen @Pe... 1d I know about five Pete Davidsons. True# 11 25 264 11 Myrna Tellingheusen @Pe... 2d Today I merged onto a highway. I deserve this extra pimiento cheese sandwich V t 66 26 548 Myrna Tellingheusen @Pe... 2d Dear Pastor Carmichael, Please put my nephew Lyle on the prayer list. This morning I found him pouring milk over a bowl of candy corn
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  • 03
    Text - Myrna Tellingheusen @PearlsFromMyrna The new neighbors have an anatomically correct Great Dane. Guess who's about to throw down the HOA gauntlet.
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  • 04
    Text - Myrna Tellingheusen @PearlsFromMyrna The moment I break the big news about my choir solo, Joan diverts the conversa- tion to her upcoming gall bladder surgery
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  • 05
    Text - Myrna Tellingheusen @PearlsFromMyrna My home blood pressure monitor has giving me an error message. I've left fifteen (15) messages with Dr. Hoopenlooper's office, but he won't return my calls.
    via ilikeyourbluesweater
  • 06
    Text - Myrna Tellingheusen @Pe... 3d As I suspected, no one kept the church prayer list up-to-date while I was gone. Now we might be wasting prayers on people who no longer need them! t 170 34 1,091 Myrna Tellingheusen @P... 4d In this life, I know there is much wisdom to pass along. For instance, most people don't know a thing about wall sconces. t1 42 20 354
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  • 07
    Text - Myrna Tellingheusen @Pe... 4d NOTICE NOTICE NOTICE Remember to sign up for my popular seminar: Maximizing Your Mint Jelly Tuesday 5:45 a.m. Edith Dingman Room Limited seating Refreshments provided t 32 29 257
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  • 08
    Text - Myrna Tellingheusen @Pe... 2d Another house sold in our neighborhood. I hope its new occupants aren't a bunch of vegetarian drum-beaters. t1 64 27 457 Myrna Tellingheusen @P... 3d The Haddocks from Wisconsin have sent me another email. I now know their most recent rain gauge reading. 111 205 12
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  • 09
    Text - Myrna Tellingheusen @PearlsFromMyrna It's close to sunset here at Vaca Muerta Estates. Are your appliances properly covered? TOASTER
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  • 10
    Text - Myrna Tellingheusen @PearlsFromMyrna Please be quiet. I am having a Sears moment.
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  • 11
    Text - Myrna Tellingheusen @PearlsFromMyrna The outburst I had at JoAnn's Fabrics is not reflective of whoI am.
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  • 12
    Text - Myrna Tellingheusen @Pe.... 5h This is not a dress rehearsal Please take the time to properly align your postage stamps t38 7 246 Myrna Tellingheusen@Pe... 6h Dickie-knitting season should be all year long. t19 116 Myrna Tellingheusen @Pe... 8h My good influence is a bedrock of this community L 26 9 155 Myrna Tellingheusen @P... 11h LYLE WHO STUCK GOOGLY EYES ON MY HUMMELS L 48 20 436
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  • 13
    Text - Myrna Tellingheusen @PearlsFromMyrna Somehow Barb managed to find a sweater vest with leopard print pumpkins. 9:16 AM 11 Oct 18
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  • 14
    Text - Myrna Tellingheusen @Pe.... 6d Oh no! Here come my pagan neighbors with their healing crystals t1113 19 568 Myrna Tellingheusen@P... 6d I have made peace knowing someone used my decorative soaps while I was gone. But I never forget. t74 32 655 Myrna Tellingheusen@Pe... 6d I don't know how Helen can justify her valances. t119 7 192 Y
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  • 15
    Text - Myrna Tellingheusen @Pe... .5d Six and one half years ago Roberta told me I hold too many grudges. I haven't invited her to book club since L 240 34 1,282 Myrna Tellingheusen @Pe... 6d We don't serve spicy brown mustard at fellowship luncheon We are a Christian people. CC: Edna L1165 30 790 Myrna Tellingheusen@Pe... 6d Dear Dr. Hoopenlooper, I hate your portal t15 11 172
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