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23 Clever Tweets To Keep You Entertained

That 280 character limit is no match for these wordsmiths. Some people are capable of saying so much with so little space. We wish we had come up with these ourselves.

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  • 1
    twitter fun - Text - Ygrene @Ygrene MEMEBOX.LOL [being kidnapped] Me: will I need my toothbrush Kidnapper: shut the fuck up Me: I assume that means you're providing a toothbrush
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  • 2
    twitter fun - Text - Simon Holland @simoncholland We put new shelves in the garage and have talked for 3 days about what a game changer they are. This is peak marriage.
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  • 3
    twitter fun - Text - @CleverTP "yeah of course I can paint your ceiling." Michelangelo scoffed to himself, "gonna paint a bunch of dudes with they dick outs on it tho" 3/27/14, 22:44
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  • 4
    twitter fun - Text - Abbie @AbbieEvansXO Bartender: I'm cutting you off. only water from now on Jesus: [sarcastically] oh no
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  • 5
    twitter fun - Text - Kyle Follow @KylePlantEmoji [boarding the ark Noah: Name? Bold Eagle: Bold Eagle Hyena, from the back: more like BALD eagle Imao Owls: Imao Noah: Imao *marks down bald eagle* 7:05 PM 7 Jun 2018
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  • 6
    twitter fun - Text - M@thew @TweetPotato314 murderer: run if you want to live me: *starts sprinting* murderer: not like toward me tho
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  • 7
    twitter fun - Text - Rachel @rachjd Ihave lived next to the same guy for 3 years. Thought his name was Steve.I call him Steve. His name is Steve in my phone. I've been to his apartment. We've had dinner. His name is Brian. His dog is Steve.
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  • 8
    twitter fun - Text - andrew @AndrewChamings [first day as surgeon] Whoa shit there's a whole fuckin skeleton in here lol spooky 14/02/2017, 16:08 2,195 Retweets 6,135 Likes
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  • 9
    twitter fun - Text - Momarazzi @Mirimade Me: are you ready? Husband: yes Me: great, I got myself and the kids ready and everything's packed up and we'll actually be on time if we leave right this second, let's get in the car- Husband: okay, just need to hop in the shower real quick 12:27 PM - Oct 27, 2018 10.3K 1,772 people are talking about this
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  • 10
    twitter fun - Text - Radrosaur @CopernicusG What if Bing is just a guy in his office Googling stuff for you and doing his best
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  • 11
    twitter fun - Text - MehGyver @AndrewNadeau0 BUILDING INSPECTOR: Well, you say you've kept everything up to code, but I've been speaking with your 4 year old and he informed me the floor is actually lava, which-I don't need to tell you is a pretty serious safety violation.
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  • 12
    twitter fun - Text - sarah marie cintron @sarahmcintron Most guys: send noodes My boyfriend: Yeah I'm showering Oh nice send me a picture of your hair up in a giant spike lol
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  • 13
    twitter fun - Text - viking @NOTVIKING genie: you have three wishes me: i wish everyone who didn't eat the crust on pizza would die genie: ok that's a pretty good wish you still have three left that one's on me
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  • 14
    twitter fun - Text - Zilla @GoodZilla [doctor looking at my xrays] doctor: this is exactly what i was afraid of me: what doctor: skeletons 2/27/18, 4:22 PM 31.8K RETWEETS 110K LIKES
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  • 15
    twitter fun - Text - macklemore @macallmaryhew Been getting a lot of bread lately. Not money but my carb intake is just unreal
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  • 16
    twitter fun - Text - Salty Mermaid @Jenn_H_Scott Listen, frozen meal instructions, never in the history of owning microwaves have I known the wattage of any microwave
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  • 17
    twitter fun - Text - umami skeleton @Merman_Melville 1870: Man: My wife, whom had 4 babies and 0 orgasms this year, and is not allowed to vote, cries a lot Doctor: Obviously she is insane.
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  • 18
    twitter fun - Text - Kal @captainkalvis welcome to my very first vlog in which i try different hair products ispray hairspray into my mouth] well, right off the bat i can tell you this one is not very goodi 12/8/17, 10:48 AM
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  • 19
    twitter fun - Text - Jeremy Kaplowitz @jeremysmiles So many homophobes turn out to be secretly gay that I'm nervous I'm secretly a giant spider 28/11/2016, 21:29
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  • 20
    twitter fun - Text - Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings every time i get brushed. i have to take my collar off. the human always laughs. and says that i'm naked. joke's on them. i'm very confident in my body
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  • 21
    twitter fun - Text - saint jasiel @jaeleon I remember when I was a kidI could go to the store with $1 and come home with 3 bags of chips 2 candy bars 6 packs of starburst and a cold drink. nowadays they got cameras everywhere
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  • 22
    twitter fun - Face - Adam Sturgeon @sturgeon_adam 1d *walking past a stranger* My Brain: Don't do it Don't do it Don't do it Don't do it Don't do it Don't do it Don't do it Don't do it Me:
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  • 23
    twitter fun - Text - Thunder Bread @JoeyDG54 Regular back: -will hurt eventually -boring -stupid bones Backstreet's back: -alright
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    haunted_admin
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