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30 Twitter Jokes That Are Completely Whelming

"I know you can be underwhelmed and you can be overwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?" - Name that movie! The answer is yes, by the way, and these Twitter jokes are proof. Enjoy these tweets, not too much, but just enough. 

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  • 1
    twitter post don't feel like tweeting today so picture of an old fashioned box tv on rolling desk
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  • 2
    twitter post I'm sorry Ms. Jackson (Oooooo)/I am four eels/ Never meant to make your daughter cry/ I am several fish and not a guy
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  • 3
    twitter post AVRIL LAVIGNE: he was a boy, she was a girl, can I make it anymore obvious POLICE SKETCH ARTIST:
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  • 4
    twitter post SECURITY GUARD: You can't bring outside food in here. ME: This is a service burrito.
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  • 5
    twitter post At my wedding, you'll be able to come alone, bring a Plus One, or choose a Minus One, where you can uninvite one person of your choosing, no questions asked
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  • 6
    twitter post [national dad conference] Speaker: I'm glad you could all make it Whole crowd: "in unison* hi glad you could all make it We're dad Speaker: *Puts up a pic of ID on big screen showing legal name is "glad you could all make it" entire conference loses their shit
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  • 7
    twitter post asks grocery store manager to write a note telling my wife that I looked everywhere but couldn't find the ice cream she wanted
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  • 8
    twitter post Just ate three bottles of Flintstone's vitamins and threw my dad like a football
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  • 9
    twitter post 5-year-old daughter: I think a boy likes me. He drew me a dinosaur. Me: That could mean anything. 5: The dinosaur had a hat. Oh shit.
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  • 10
    twitter post Why is "silly goose" a phrase? have u ever met a goose? they are the most serious and powerful dinosaur lookin monsters I've ever encountered, not one them is silly.
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  • 11
    twitter post very few people know this but "art deco" is short for the style's inventor, Arthur Decorations
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  • 12
    twitter post Oh shit!!! There's a girl walking on the street!!! Better rev your engine!!! HURRY, BRANDON!!! REV YOUR ENGINE SO SHE KNOWS HOW BIG YOUR DICK IS!!!!!!
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  • 13
    twitter post bank teller: sir... sir we're begging you me: [puts another subway sandwich in the pneumatic tube and sends it up] bank teller: no more sandwiches. please. no more... me [grabbing another sandwich]: im banksy
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  • 14
    twitter post DATE: so tell me something about yourself ME: i am older than every dog
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  • 15
    twitter post you see, son, it's called "o'clock" because the Irish invented time.
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  • 16
    twitter post As I make the jump to hyperspace, I realize I left the baby on top of the ship
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  • 17
    twitter post today in incredible power moves, my homegoods cashier sniffed each of my candles as she rung them up and nodded or shook her head after each one.
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  • 18
    twitter post Billy where is your homework? "im sorry Ms. Klein my dog- "sees dog in the window make a throat cutting motion* -gone cat ate it"
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  • 19
    twitter post Jesus at Last Supper] *breaks bread* This is my body pours wine* This is my blood opens jar of mayo* Judas: I'm gonna stop u right there
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  • 20
    twitter post Stop making new flavors of Diet Coke. The original flavor, chemicals, is already perfect
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  • 21
    twitter post Waitress says "Say when" when grating my cheese. I never say when. The room fills with parmesan. There are no survivors.
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  • 22
    twitter post picture of box of cabbages This ball pit sucks
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  • 23
    twitter post Bad credit? No credit? First time buyer? First time baby? No legs? 8 legs? You a spider? Are you a Spider trying to buy a house? Eric's Premium Prices
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  • 24
    twitter post one more hotdog left who wants it [jesus speed walks across jeff's pool]
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  • 25
    twitter post "We're out of options, I'll have to use the jetpack," I said, strapping on the jetpack and ignoring many non-jetpack options still available
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  • 26
    twitter post Me, in hell: I was told there would be "special" place for me?
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  • 27
    twitter post Please sign my petition to rename giving birth "going number 3"
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  • 28
    twitter post POLICE: why'd you kill him? ME: he was making an "aahhh" sound after every sip of coffee and holding his cup close to his face with 2 hands POLICE: ok just try not to do any more murders
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  • 29
    twitter post BUILDING INSPECTOR: Well, you say you've kept everything up to code, but I've been speaking with your 4 year old and he informed me the floor is actually lava, which-I don't need to tell you-is a pretty serious safety violation.
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  • 30
    twitter post Shoot for the moon. If you miss, here's a gentle reminder that the moon's diameter is 3,475km and you could not have fucked this up more
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    Ameatball
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