Jimmy Fallon Got Help from Twitter to Collect the Best #DadQuotes

'They expected me to work there until retirement': Boss ignores employee's resignation after responding aggressively to their request for a raise 1

'Do it as loud as [...] possible': HOA declares trash bins can only be out at specific times, tenants noisily comply 2

'I've usually got like 40 missed calls': Coworkers guilt-trip employee who refuses to answer boss's calls on the weekends 3

'You have to pay us back; we found a way': Tenants modify landlord's coin-op laundry following landlord's refusal to reimburse them for $650 HVAC repair, landlord loses hundreds of dollars 4

'I'm going to need you to step up': Manager demands worker comes in despite already having plans with family 5

'You Should Be Banned; Unmatch Now': Top Dating App Flops This Week (May 30, 2023) 6

'I'm going to need you to step up': Manager demands worker comes in despite already having plans with family 1

‘My boss ate my lunch’: Employees get even with boss who eats their lunches, boss pays hundreds of dollars to eat leftovers 2

'Your two hellspawns just fell? I guess they had it coming': Mothers and service industry employees band together to rant about parents who allow their kids to misbehave in restaurants 3

'I caught her in a bold-faced lie': 20 Incompetent coworkers who are impossible to work with 4

'I've usually got like 40 missed calls': Coworkers guilt-trip employee who refuses to answer boss's calls on the weekends 5

'[They] lock you out of the car completely': Customer service rep puts driver on hold while pet cat is stuck inside locked car 6