First, gather the supplies!
"Now at easter you can buy giant easter egg moulds making it a lot easier to make, but that would be too easy and require me to think ahead."
Alright, let's make the mold for our egg:
"Poor melted white chocolate on it, get the good quality stuff not the cheap crap.
Looks a little like a white scrotum containing giant cancerous testicles... don't worry it'll be fine in the end."
Now, remove the plastic from the mold:
"Not too hard right. Now comes the hard part where we delicately remove the glad wrap without destroying the mould."
Maybe that didn't work...
Well, maybe just cover it in chocolate?
"Now I'm going to wrap this bird s**t in foil and give it to my girlfriend. At least we know that every birthday after this years will not be her worst birthday."
"Kinder Surprise, Sorry" sums up everything about this project.
"So I had to buy her a present to say sorry for her s***ty birthday present.
Next year I'm just buying flowers."