30 Marriage Tweets That Are Absolute Comedy Gold

The tape measure. That's as real as it gets, folks. With that little gem and many others spread throughout this list of marriage 

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Employee told to drop everything to serve their boss coffee, drops 300 files on the ground and spills the coffee on him before quitting: 'I was working for the new company 22 minutes later'

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Neighbors demand resident cut down their trees because they 'block the view to other people's houses', resident purposely outgrows the trees as a response: 'Enjoy the view'

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Bartender gets even with entitled Karen customer who never tipped after crossing paths outside of work: 'The money she just gifted me was just karma'

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Update: 'I quit without thinking twice': Boss flips out on employee who quits $120k salary job for $250k job

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Woman serves family members 'glittery sweet potato mash' and other outlandish Thanksgiving foods: 'My sister has been hard at work on some "creative menu"'

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17-year-old confronts her dad after seeing him with another woman at a restaurant: 'My mom deserves to know the truth'

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