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01
âMy boyfriendâs sister invited us to her wedding. I was trying to find out about the decorations for the celebration so I could choose an appropriate dress.â
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02
âWhen my husband asked where the markers were, I should have been more suspicious...â
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03
"She never told him the truth. He still thinks wistfully of that amazing, magical soap dispenser they had once."
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04
"Hot glue bowls I found at my boyfriendâs house"
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05
He knows his way around his wife...
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06
âMy wife let me nerd out for my sonâs newborn session so I present to you Lord Hamish of House Shirley, first of his name.â
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07
Dad: âNo you are not allowed to bring that dirty stray in. Imagine all the diseases itâs carrying. Absolutely not and thatâs final.â
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08
âAsked my boyfriend to close up the chip bags...â
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09
âMy wife is decorating with moss for spring, so I added Moss Man. Think sheâll notice?â
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10
When you know what your opponent is going to do next:
"Follow up: he said now he won't make it me because then he'll look like a bitch who caved. It's his dog. She is very cute"
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11
âHusband broke my mixer years ago.â
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12
âWent to the bank today to cash a check, needless to say my boyfriend got bored. Heâs a keeper.â
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13
âMy husband and I are trying to get healthier, so he put up motivational signs around the house. This is now what I see before I open the fridge.â
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14
When you heard that dry shampoo existed but didnât know anything else about it.
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15
âMy boyfriend draws faces in the vegetables and fruits that I bought but forgot to eat.â
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16
âMy husband had these set up on the counter for me and said âItâs your early Valentineâs Day gift. Donât ever say I didnât get you flowers.â This is why I married him.â
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17
âMy husband cuts the pizza so he doesnât slice through a pepperoni.â
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18
âA few months ago, my friends and I got our photos taken at JC Penny Studios. Today, we put it up on a billboard in our hometown.â
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19
âMy boyfriend and I had our first baby in December, and this is what I came home to for Valentineâs Day.â
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20
âMy wife absolutely hates with a deep-seated passion, Nicholas Cage.â
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21
âBrotherly love... Every year my twin and I go to the bank, withdraw a $100 bill, give it to each other, and then deposit it back. The tellers love it and we have done it every year since we were 15. Happy 39th bro!â
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22
âThis Chapstick that my boyfriend just bit into...â
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23
âItâs 1:30 a.m. and my boyfriend just shot a cockroach with a dart gun... didnât use a shoe, oh no, that wouldâve been too casual.â
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24
"He attempted to crack a walnut with his bare hands."
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