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19 Of The Greatest Amazon Reviews To Ever Exist

These Amazon reviews are absolute gems. All of them. Sit back with your hot cup of joe and enjoy the hystericalness of these reviews. If you're more of a dark humor person, we've got some seriously good dark Amazon reviews for you. Honestly, does it get better than this? (The answer is no.) 

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  • 1
    amazon review about half keyboard A great bard! By A. Wolf on April 14, 2013 Das bard es ver gad! A've traed et far tree weex ad et werx great! A recabed et ta aw Agazad watcxers! Fave stars!!!
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  • 2
    amazon review about air conditioner Cricut Explore Air If it Vibrated I Would be Divorced By Adgate on July 15, 2018 Verified Purchase My wife loves this thing and for that reason so did I. Seeing the pure joy in her eyes was rivaled only by things like our wedding day and our children's births. As time has gone by though I'm beginning suspect that she loves it more than she loves me. She spends all her time with it and when she's not using it she's talking about it. She's taken to snugg
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  • 3
    amazon review about coffin No complaints from Grandpa.
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  • 4
    amazon review about skipping rope - Works great but be warned By Amazon customer on April 5, 2018 Verified Purchase You wanna jump over some rope? This rope swings around and you can jump right over it. You can jump fast, you can jump slow, you can even jump fancy. This rope will keep swinging and you can keep jumping. But, BEWARE! This rope does NOT forgive! If you mess up by miss-timing a jump, this rope will punish you. This rope is basically made
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  • 5
    amazon review about pickle phone I can't count the number of times I've been out and about and in need of an emergency yodelling pickle. I've tried rapping avocados, howling broccoli and on one occasion that l'd rather forget, aubergine that sang the whole of Wagner's Ring Cycle, but they poor substitutes. You can imagine my relief on an were all learning that my quest is at an end.
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  • 6
    amazon review about inhaler - Now I have companionship By Wes on September 21, 2016 Verified Purchase At first I wasn't sure if spending money on a sticker of an old lady with an inhaler a good idea but once I got it I knew I had made the right choice. She keeps company in my apartment since I don't have any actual friends, board games, and watch tv together. We have so much in common like our love was me we eat, play for breathing and other things. She doesn't arg
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  • 7
    amazon review about calculator watch Like an Apple Watch Only Not By Ethan on January 30, 2015 Verified Purchase I've always wanted a calculator watch Now that I'm pushing 30, I felt that I'm an adult and I can do what I want and I want to buy a calculator watch, dammit. Yeah, I said it. You're not my mom. Deal with it. It's great. It has dual time, a stopwatch, alarm, tells the date and day of the week, AND A FRIGGIN' CALCULATOR. If you wear it tightly enough,
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  • 8
    amazon review about ramen noodles One day I was trying to get over the 35 dollar limit for free shipping from Amazon, So I was food into my cart just throwing random came across this ramen, and I had no idea what the repercussions of clicking that "add to cart" button would be when I bought three packs of it to fulfill the free shipping requirement the devious Amazon devs set up to take more of my money. A few days later, I get home from work, and there is
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  • 9
    amazon review about ALEX JONES 2018 ADULT COLORING BOOK HELEN AUSTIN Useful By Amazon user on June 13, 2018 Verified Purchase My cat Scooter is very pleased with the Alex Jones Adult Coloring Book. Scooter has feline kidney problems and doesn't always make it to the litter box in time. Now that I line his litter box with pages from the Alex Jones Adult Coloring Book, he never misses his mark. Thank you Alex Jones for helping my cat use the literbox in his old age.
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  • 10
    picture bandaged finger amazon review about knife Be careful.. it's really sharp! By Blues 'n BBQ on June 21, 2017 Verified Purchase This is one sharp knife. I have 8 stitches in my left index finger to prove it. That, of course, was my fault and the result of a momentary lack of attention while slicing a loaf of ciabatta bread. But I can say with very personal authority that this knife slices cleanly and almost painlessly. It has a great feel (on the handle end..)
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  • 11
    amazon review about car window shade Really hard to drive with this... July 29, 2013 By joshoohuhh on Verified Purchase I love this product. It keeps my car nice and cool, BUT I will say that the only defect I have found so far is that it is very hard to drive with this on. I have had over 5 wrecks since I purchased it. After my first fender bender, I decided it was best to roll down the window and stick my head out to see the road, but even that is hard because my eyes and mo
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  • 12
    amazon review about hair trimmer While I was trimming my bikini line By Amazonuser on February 17, 2017 Verified Purchase Okay, funny story. While I was trimming my bikini line, I dropped this trimmer in my toilet and like a dummy, my instant reflex was to flush the toilet. Why?! So, down the toilet my trimmer went... Motor buzzing all the while. The trimmer got stuck in a bend of the toilet pipe and for over 45 minutes, the trimmer continued buzzing inside my toi
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  • 13
    amazon review about locks Stands up to the strength of a two-year-old By AB on June 11, 2016 Verified Purchase We were having a terrible time keeping our toddler out of the fridge. He would go in, open drawers, and then leave the door open. It was a perfect game for our little boy. Man, was he mad when he discovered we added one of these locks. It seems to be holding up well so far to the tantrums and an
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  • 14
    amazon review about book 50 WAYS TO EAT COCK Mouthwatering&Nutritious Rooster Recipes for the Imaginative Cook My brother is a huge cock enthusiast so I bought By Jason Cupkey on January 17, 2018 Verified Purchase My brother is a huge cock enthusiast so I bought him this book for Christmas. He was extremely impressed by the book, it was thicker than he expected, and he seems to really be taking it all in
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  • 15
    amazon review about Toilet brush - Too much pain By Christine Campbell on August 28, 2017 Verified Purchase Causes too much pain and agony, dont know why its so popular now a day
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  • 16
    amazon review about turtleneck Perhaps there was an error made somewhere. By James4257 on December 23, 2017 Verified Purchase Well, what can I say. It never occurred to me that there are people out there who's head diameter is the same as their wrist diameter, but apparently there are. Unfortunately, my wife isn't on of them. It was almost worth keeping just for the laughs. She could not pull the thing over her head. You can see in the photograph what I mean. If you are cons
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  • 17
    Mattress - Beds should look like beds By Adam on June 30, 2016 Verified Purchase I ordered this when I was drunk because thought it was a giant ice cream sandwich. It's not. It's a bed, not the $150 ice cream sandwich I wanted.
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  • 18
    amazon review about pregnancy dress It's not just for ladies!!! By Gil on March 4, 2018 Verified Purchase My wife bought this for our pregnancy big. I saw announcement and it was too my opportunity and I knew what I had to do. This dress does it all! You want feel pretty? Check Majestic? Sure Pregnant? Of course Hot? It's lit fam I'd rate this a perfect 5/5, l'm not sure how it works f
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  • 19
    amazon review about kazoos they're crap, but it's quantity over quality By E. Parker on June 30, 2016 Verified Purchase they're crap, but it's quantity over quality. passed them out at a protest against the westboro baptist church to drown them out. not the loudest on their own, but when you've got 70 odd
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