Academics Discuss The Made Up Jobs They Use When People Ask What They Do For Work

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mattstaff
Jul 20, 2019 5:00 PM EDT

Political scientist @alixabeth, asked Twitter users what methods they break out when trying to get around telling someone what they do for a living. The resulting answers were wildly creative, and might just end up helping bail you out of that next teeth-grinding situation of painful small talk. 

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  • 01
    Text - Dr Elizabeth Sacha Baroness Cohen ti 688 9.3K @alixabeth Jun 7 Telling strangers who went to make small talk that I'm a political scientist usually ends in disaster. I'm in the process of selecting a totally fake occupation that I can present to airplane seatmates, taxi drivers, etc. Which occupation would you pick?
    via Twitter Moments
  • 02
    Text - Dr Elizabeth Sacha Baroness Cohen t 19 672 @alixabeth Jun 8 Replying to@mike_cal They are mad about politics.
    via Twitter Moments
  • 03
    Text - t 11 217 Alexander Waters @AlexPopuli Jun 8 Replying to @alixabeth Depends what you enjoy talking about. I'd pick an interest& turn that into the answer. If you love dogs/another animal maybe groomer/trainer? Something creative/artsy? Say you're freelancing that. If you just don't wanna talk, put earphones on- they'll get the message eventually
    via Twitter Moments
  • 04
    Text - Dr. Elizabeth Haven Hawley 35 967 @ehh_ptr Jun 8 Replying to @alixabeth @DSongMarshall Everyone loves librarians. They think we sit around and read. Be able to talk about a few books and a good listener, and they will love you
    via Twitter Moments
  • 05
    Text - t18 Josh Shepperd 594 @joshshepperd Jun 8 Replying to @alixabeth i just tell nonacademics that im a teacher. everyone loves teachers and its usually all good after that.
    via Twitter Moments
  • 06
    Text - t34 Lesley Jacobs 1.2K @lesleyjacobs Jun 8 Replying to @alixabeth Tell them you develop ice cream flavors. That will start a conversation about tastes, and memories from childhood.
    via Twitter Moments
  • 07
    Text - t10 susan parkhurst 385 @sdpark Jun 7 Replying to @alixabeth "Independently wealthy" won't get you into trouble. Or "Poet", or left an insurance broker job to stay home caring for an elderly parent.
    via Twitter Moments
  • 08
    Text - Sarah McCammon 2 53 2.1K @sarahmccammon Jun 8 Replying to @alixabeth I know a political reporter who tells uber drivers she's an assistant manager at the Gap.
    via Twitter Moments
  • 09
    Text - ti50 Casual Poster 1.2K @ToddBolusPLLC Jun 8 Replying to@alixabeth Go with something obscure with a highly specialized knowledge base that they won't be comfortable talking to you about, like "securities analyst for a Chinese bank based in Guangzhou, specializing in African currency denominated issues". They'll shut down immediately.
    via Twitter Moments
  • 10
    Text - Vox Populi 266 @DonTMogilevich Jun 8 Replying to @alixabeth Accountant is probably safe outside tax season. Aspiring scriptwriter. Used car salesman. Poison expert. Bounty hunter. Traveling salesman. Chuck E Cheese employee. Fundraiser for homeless people
    via Twitter Moments
  • 11
    Text - t 14 Keneshia Grant, Ph.D. 843 @keneshiagrant Jun 8 Replying to @alixabeth Outside DC, Barista at Peet's. Around DC, lobbyist for the black bean canners association of America
    via Twitter Moments
  • 12
    White - 23 Rick Franzblau 214 @RickFranzblau Jun 8 Replying to @alixabeth Secret Shopper
    via Twitter Moments
  • 13
    Text - ti 14 Blue Voter, Bicoastal Midwesterner 786 @ToniaLorenz Jun 8 Replying to @alixabeth A friend of my parents is actually a really big deal in the CIA He tells people he works a mid-level management at Bank of America headquarters. No one ever asks anything more about it.
    via Twitter Moments
  • 14
    Text - t29 Wendy McCall SerenSera@wmweeza - Jun 8 602 Replying to@alixabeth If you want to really get rid of them "Death coach, you know like life coach but we plan the best way for them to depart that would be fulfilling and educational to everyone"
    via Twitter Moments

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