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25 Fresh Tweets To Help You Pass The Time

  • 1
    funny tweet - Transport - mars i,i @jortle Man what the fuck
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  • 2
    funny tweet - Product - Sam Berkhead @samberkhead I'm at the kfc I'm at the sephora I'm at the combination kfc and sephora KFC SEPHORA
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    funny tweet - Motor vehicle - Pre K @stayfrea_ on to his seat like son be holding My I can't drive or something WARNING AAP
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    funny tweet - Text - *sigh*clops @DadZZZasleep Can we stop screwing around and just frost the whole pop tart? We have the technology
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  • 5
    funny tweet - Bathroom sink - Alanna Okun @alanna this bowl i ordered when i was drunk arrived and WOW does it exceed my expectations
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    funny tweet - Font - amanda @ootwamanda isn't this what meredith grey said to derek shepherd in greys anatomy CHOOSE ME NAME ME TAKE ME HOME ME
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    funny tweet - Product - Uncivil Ninja @Uncivilninja Went to Starbucks and got a water with whip cream 11 1
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  • 8
    funny tweet - Text - Ace Watkins @GamerPres2020 Jul 28 You Cannot Have a Sex Scandal If You Have Never Had Sex A GAMER FOR PRESIDENT 2020 You Cannot Have a Sex Scandal If You Have Never Had Sex thehardtimes.net 1117.3K 511 86K
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    funny tweet - Text - savannah @savtwopointoh my dentist gave me amoxicillin but you can't drink when you're taking it, so i am doing the mature thing and not taking the medicine so i can drink
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    funny tweet - Text - Bobson Dugnutt @adamhasabeard When I make self deprecating suicide jokes around other people my age dark.. . You are I kinda like it! And
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  • 11
    funny tweet - Text - Andrew Armstrong @donfrijole Me: I think, what really traumatized me most was getting expelled from elementary school and never seeing my teachers again... Therapist: What made that so traumatic? Me: I was homeschooled. 9:48 PM 7/31/19 Twitter for iPhone
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    funny tweet - Text - Deoncogon @MCcsift Currently trying to incorporate "Alexa turn off my lamp'" into the rap song I'm singing along to 7:39 PM 7/31/19 Twitter for iPhone
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    funny tweet - Text - m@thew @TweetPotato314 How do you know if someone is hitchhiking or just complimenting your driving? 3:18 PM 7/28/19 Twitter for iPhone
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  • 14
    funny tweet - Text - P Kinda Prickly Kinda Kel @PersonaPrickly If my name was Joe and I worked in button factory I think I'd just tell| people I sold drugs 6:36 AM 31 Jul 19 Twitter for iPhone
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    funny tweet - Text - No one you know @PenTheMightier If I had a dollar for every time someone asked for feet pics, well, l'd have several dollars. I sell cheap feet pics. 9:38 PM 7/30/19 Twitter for iPhone
  • 16
    funny tweet - Text - lilylefae @lilylefae 12h "You're bi??? How are you bi if you're dating a guy?" I EAT SALAD DOES THAT MEAN IM A VEGETARIAN??? Keep it up Chad and I'l fuck your girlfriend L26.3K 525 124K Show this thread
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  • 17
    funny tweet - Text - The Black Supreme Kai @Black... .1d Little kids be having the WORST customer service in they pretend restaurants t5,816 15.6K 101 B @RunwayBella Replying to @BlackSupremeKai Fr my niece made me have a tea party w her in her restaurant, but I couldn't drink the tea til SHE said I could. 17:37 30/07/2019 Twitter for iPhone
  • 18
    funny tweet - Text - Femi @Femi_Sorry My French mate just sent me this. Przetłumacz Tweeta was IN Poland, "to make an English exit" is to leavea party without telling anyone that you're going. Now a new phrase is popular there- "to Brexit". It means to loudly announce your intention to leave a party before staying for the next four to five hours.
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    funny tweet - Text - Adam @stfuqt how much of an allowance did y'all get per week as a teen? kngarou @kngarou I was allowed to live there
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  • 20
    funny tweet - Team - Dwayne Johnson @TheRock congrats Kevin on finally being tall enough to ride Kevin Hart @KevinHart4Real What the actual fuck guys
  • 21
    funny tweet - Text - fie$ty _missmateo saw a post that said "Women have so much evil in their blood that God has to drain it once a month"... and bitchhhh 5:23 PM 7/30/19 Twitter for iPhone 27K Retweets 88.4K Likes
  • 22
    funny tweet - Text - WANTED: Police say this Ohio man climbed through a window and assaulted his victim. He has a long rap sheet of crimes and they're hoping you can help them track him down. cbsloc.al/ 2n4hiOd for dte Iswear, sometimes it's the ones you'd least expect
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  • 23
    funny tweet - Text - Zachary Fox @zackfox my favorite genre of crackhead is baby stroller with no baby in it crackheads 10:21 PM 7/30/19 Twitter for iPhone
  • 24
    funny tweet - Product - Ollie Garch: Redux @ojedge When Dominos said they'd be 45 minutes but it's been 50.
  • 25
    funny tweet - Text - Alyssa Limperis @alyssalimp Me and my gals in college: yaaaas let's drink this BAG of wine & go DAAAANCING Me and my gals now: Ok so what you are experiencing is repressed trauma and what im about to guide you through is called dialectical behavior therapy

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