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25 Fresh Tweets To Help You Pass The Time

Spending time on social media can really kill the soul. That's why we soulless content minions have put in the time and effort to collect these fresh tweets for your perusing pleasure. Why subject yourself to idiocy when you can avoid it by scrolling through vaguely amusing tweets right here.

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  • 1
    funny tweet - Transport - mars i,i @jortle Man what the fuck
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  • 2
    funny tweet - Product - Sam Berkhead @samberkhead I'm at the kfc I'm at the sephora I'm at the combination kfc and sephora KFC SEPHORA
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  • 3
    funny tweet - Motor vehicle - Pre K @stayfrea_ on to his seat like son be holding My I can't drive or something WARNING AAP
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  • 4
    funny tweet - Text - *sigh*clops @DadZZZasleep Can we stop screwing around and just frost the whole pop tart? We have the technology
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  • 5
    funny tweet - Bathroom sink - Alanna Okun @alanna this bowl i ordered when i was drunk arrived and WOW does it exceed my expectations
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  • 6
    funny tweet - Font - amanda @ootwamanda isn't this what meredith grey said to derek shepherd in greys anatomy CHOOSE ME NAME ME TAKE ME HOME ME
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  • 7
    funny tweet - Product - Uncivil Ninja @Uncivilninja Went to Starbucks and got a water with whip cream 11 1
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  • 8
    funny tweet - Text - Ace Watkins @GamerPres2020 Jul 28 You Cannot Have a Sex Scandal If You Have Never Had Sex A GAMER FOR PRESIDENT 2020 You Cannot Have a Sex Scandal If You Have Never Had Sex thehardtimes.net 1117.3K 511 86K
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  • 9
    funny tweet - Text - savannah @savtwopointoh my dentist gave me amoxicillin but you can't drink when you're taking it, so i am doing the mature thing and not taking the medicine so i can drink
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  • 10
    funny tweet - Text - Bobson Dugnutt @adamhasabeard When I make self deprecating suicide jokes around other people my age dark.. . You are I kinda like it! And
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  • 11
    funny tweet - Text - Andrew Armstrong @donfrijole Me: I think, what really traumatized me most was getting expelled from elementary school and never seeing my teachers again... Therapist: What made that so traumatic? Me: I was homeschooled. 9:48 PM 7/31/19 Twitter for iPhone
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  • 12
    funny tweet - Text - Deoncogon @MCcsift Currently trying to incorporate "Alexa turn off my lamp'" into the rap song I'm singing along to 7:39 PM 7/31/19 Twitter for iPhone
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  • 13
    funny tweet - Text - m@thew @TweetPotato314 How do you know if someone is hitchhiking or just complimenting your driving? 3:18 PM 7/28/19 Twitter for iPhone
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  • 14
    funny tweet - Text - P Kinda Prickly Kinda Kel @PersonaPrickly If my name was Joe and I worked in button factory I think I'd just tell| people I sold drugs 6:36 AM 31 Jul 19 Twitter for iPhone
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  • 15
    funny tweet - Text - No one you know @PenTheMightier If I had a dollar for every time someone asked for feet pics, well, l'd have several dollars. I sell cheap feet pics. 9:38 PM 7/30/19 Twitter for iPhone
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  • 16
    funny tweet - Text - lilylefae @lilylefae 12h "You're bi??? How are you bi if you're dating a guy?" I EAT SALAD DOES THAT MEAN IM A VEGETARIAN??? Keep it up Chad and I'l fuck your girlfriend L26.3K 525 124K Show this thread
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  • 17
    funny tweet - Text - The Black Supreme Kai @Black... .1d Little kids be having the WORST customer service in they pretend restaurants t5,816 15.6K 101 B @RunwayBella Replying to @BlackSupremeKai Fr my niece made me have a tea party w her in her restaurant, but I couldn't drink the tea til SHE said I could. 17:37 30/07/2019 Twitter for iPhone
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  • 18
    funny tweet - Text - Femi @Femi_Sorry My French mate just sent me this. Przetłumacz Tweeta was IN Poland, "to make an English exit" is to leavea party without telling anyone that you're going. Now a new phrase is popular there- "to Brexit". It means to loudly announce your intention to leave a party before staying for the next four to five hours.
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  • 19
    funny tweet - Text - Adam @stfuqt how much of an allowance did y'all get per week as a teen? kngarou @kngarou I was allowed to live there
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  • 20
    funny tweet - Team - Dwayne Johnson @TheRock congrats Kevin on finally being tall enough to ride Kevin Hart @KevinHart4Real What the actual fuck guys
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  • 21
    funny tweet - Text - fie$ty _missmateo saw a post that said "Women have so much evil in their blood that God has to drain it once a month"... and bitchhhh 5:23 PM 7/30/19 Twitter for iPhone 27K Retweets 88.4K Likes
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  • 22
    funny tweet - Text - WANTED: Police say this Ohio man climbed through a window and assaulted his victim. He has a long rap sheet of crimes and they're hoping you can help them track him down. cbsloc.al/ 2n4hiOd for dte Iswear, sometimes it's the ones you'd least expect
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  • 23
    funny tweet - Text - Zachary Fox @zackfox my favorite genre of crackhead is baby stroller with no baby in it crackheads 10:21 PM 7/30/19 Twitter for iPhone
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  • 24
    funny tweet - Product - Ollie Garch: Redux @ojedge When Dominos said they'd be 45 minutes but it's been 50.
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  • 25
    funny tweet - Text - Alyssa Limperis @alyssalimp Me and my gals in college: yaaaas let's drink this BAG of wine & go DAAAANCING Me and my gals now: Ok so what you are experiencing is repressed trauma and what im about to guide you through is called dialectical behavior therapy
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