Buzzkill of the Day: Total Wet Blanket Stephen Hawking Warns Humans Only Have 1,000 Years Left
Ugh. You know, some of us are just trying to enjoy the party that is life, and along comes Stephen Hawking to lets us know just how close we are from total extinction. 1,000 years? Come on, dude. We’re trying to party over here.
This is humanity, ok?
The Washington Post reports that during a hour-long speech at the Oxford University Union in England, Stephen Hawking ruined what was probably a really cool party by telling the audience that even if we make it through “the rise of artifial intelligence, the ravages of climate change, and the threat of nuclear terrorism in the next century,” we’ll still be facing mass extinction. Dude, you're harshing my mellow.
“I don’t think we will survive another 1,000 years without escaping beyond our fragile planet,” said Professor Stephen Hawking, author of A Brief History of Time and eternal party pooper. “We must also continue to go into space for the future of humanity.”
Look, we’re just trying to sit back, have a cold soda pop, and wear these rockin’ shades. Meanwhile, we didn’t expect Professor Hawking to come home so early and tell us all that “Earth’s dominant species will continue to eat through the planet’s resources at an alarming rate, leaving Earth battered and bruised and quickening its inevitable end,” according to The Daily Express. *record scratch* Yeesh. Who brought that guy?
Fine. You know what? We’re tired anyway. We’re going to sleep. We’ll clean up the party in the morning.