29-year-old humiliates 27-year-old sister-in-law who films everything by ruining her birthday photos: 'I told her no filming'

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    I (29F) had a small bd dinner last weekend with my husband (31M), SIL "Lina" (27F), MIL and two friends at a normal but nice place. Lina's an 'influencer". She films literally everything - plates, forks, ppl breathing.
  • 03
    Three days before, I wrote in the family chat please don't film - me. Food, room is fine, just not my face. She said "got u".
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    White green and blue birthday cake surrounded by cupcakes and party food with string lights in the background
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    We sit down and within like 10 mins her phone is up. I say quiet, "pls don't point it at me." She goes, "you look great, it's just vibes." Husband backs me, "she said no." Lina rolls her eyes, lowers it... for maybe 2 minutes.
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    Then the cake comes (little sparkler, staff singing). Linal stands and points the camera right in my face like, "birthday girl reveal!" I put my hand over the lens and said, "stop" I didn't grab the phone or touch her, just covered the camera for a second. She snaps that I "ruined her shot" and this is her job. MIL says to "let it go for one night." I said that it's my night - actually.
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    It got awkward fast. Server was right there, I felt embarassed. Husband tried to change the subject, but Lina kept muttering about how she had to scrap "everything." I even paid for my own dessert (long story) and we left pretty quick.
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    Next morning Lina texts that I "humiliated" her and made her look unprofessional in front of everyone. MIL says I should've moved seats if I didn't want to be in frame. Husband says my boundary is fair but maybe I "made a scene" by doing it during the song when eyes were already on me.
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    She's posted me before without asking and co-workers. mentioned it. I've asked her to blur/remove and it turns into drama, which is why I set the boundary in writing before dinner.
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    Why I might be the AH: public place, I did physically block her shot, and yeah it was during the song. I could've stood up and turned away or smth. But also... I don't wanna be online against my will, esp on my own birthday. Idk. AITA?
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    I put my hand over my SIL'S phone and blocked her from filming me during the cake song, even tho we were in a public restaurant. That might make me the AH bc I did physically interfere with her recording (it's her job), and I did it right in the big "everyone's watching"
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    moment, which embarassed her and kinda made a scene. I could've just turned away or asked to skip the sparkler instead of blocking the lens. mid-song.
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    kalequinoa Lina texts that I "humiliated” her and made her look unprofessional in front of everyone.
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    No, SHE made herself look unprofessional in front of everyone by behaving unprofessionally in front of everyone. Honestly, I would not invite her to things you host going forward until she can respect the most simple. of requests: "don't film me". NTA.
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    oliviamrow NTA. If she wants to look professional in public, she should act like a professional in public. A professional respects other people, their space, and their privacy. A professional knows how to separate their job and their personal life
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    when needed. A professional isn't so desperate for content that she'll railroad other peoples' comfort and wishes. Is she really 27 or is she 17? You are not part of her job. She doesn't get to commandeer you as a prop for her videos, and she doesn't get to seize control over your own g ld in birthday event for it either.
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    Ok_Tonight_3703 Bahahaha! Her JOB? Every idiot with a phone thinks they are an influencer. She does not have the right to use people without their permission as content. Your husband was wrong. You didn't make a scene. She did with her disrespect. You held your boundary and now she's bt hurt.
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    Frankly I would not share the same space with her. Seriously I would not attend any event that she was parents at and she would not be invited to any event hosted by me or for me. I would also report any post that showed my face every single time. I would also comment on her posts calling her out.
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    Your husband owes you an apology.
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    ShadowsObserver Lina texts that I "humiliated" her and made her look unprofessional in front of everyone. Because she was unprofessional. You specifically said you did not consent to being in her content, and she tried to film
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    you and profit off you anyway. MIL says I should've moved seats if I didn't want to be in frame. She was literally purposely filming you and got close enough that you could cover up the camera with your hand, what exactly does MIL
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    think you moving seats would do? MIL says to "let it go for one night." I said that it's my night - actually. You are exactly right. It's your night. You know who can let it go for one night? Lina.
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    Husband says my boundary is fair but maybe I "made a scene" by doing it during the song when eyes were already on me. Good. It sounds like making a scene is the only thing that might "influence" Lina to respect other people. Tell your husband the internet says she deserved it.
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    k23_k23 NTA stop inviting her. And tell everybody: If she disrespects your boundary about being filmed, you will stop coming. and; in the future, when she films you without permission and posts it, report her. Get it taken down. get her account closed.
  • 26
    LittleMissBraStrap Ignoring consent is unprofessional. She made herself look unprofessional, she behaved like an amateur.

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