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Assorted Memes 'N Tweets To Help You Over The Hump

Happy hump day, y'all! If you need help making it through to quit time, we've got the distractions you crave. From relatable memes toself-deprecating and clever tweets, we've definitely got you covered. Just don't let your boss peep you slackin'. 

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  • 1
    Car seat - People who call instead of text HONE Me
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  • 2
    Text - Uncle Jeff @PickleRudd Instant pancake mix box: just add water Me: sounds easy Oh no, too thick [adds more water] Oh no, too runny [adds more mix] Three hours later* a lovely breakfast of 137 pancakes
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  • 3
    Text - Olivia Reed @liv_reed17 High school teachers: your college professors won't be nearly as laid back as | am My college professor: Instagram .l @O 54% 5:15 PM Done Message Details Trail Mix Attack 45 others to me НА Oct 5 at 3:43 PM Dear Students, While grading your notebooks and eating trailmix, a catastrophe occurred and my trailmix ended up all over the floor and your notebooks. There may be particulates of said trailmix left. If any of you has a severe peanut/ treenut allergy, please co
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  • 4
    Text - Ali Kolbert @AliKolbert Listening to my girlfriend's workplace drama is like knowing everything that happens in a show you've never seen. I'm like "oh wow Cathy did that? CATHY? I did not see that coming. Steve quit? Wow he didn't even make it to season 3."
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  • 5
    Text - Brian Q Quinn @BQQuinn WINNER Imagine if outdoor cats migrated like birds. Every year thousands and thousands of cats just walked by in formation on their way to warmer weather. It'd be so adorable I'd cry as they went by in their little cat parade.
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  • 6
    Text - @2Neekz ENERGYYYYY >> 9:097 86 В bby girl> Today 9:04 PM hey i think i have a problem don't say that, your problems are my problems okay? we're in this together always, through thick and thin. So next time say "hey I think WE have a problem" ok that's so sweet of you, okay I will so WE fucked vour hestfriend Message Pay
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  • 7
    Text - Support da Froot Loops @QaunChi Losing my MIND at this response from my dentist I thought was a robot txt msgs Today 12:04 PM Wesley, we have you scheduled with us on 10/7/19 at 3:30pm. There is an estimated copay of $282.60. Please text back or call the office to confirm that you got this message. Thank you I know i am sorry Text Message
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  • 8
    Eating - Мy bank account My plans to workout Мe "Wanna go out to eat?"
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  • 9
    Text - Girls: let's coordinate so we don't go to the costume party as the same thing Me and the boys:
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  • 10
    Barechested - 97% of people when they get a text about their Uber arriving drgrayfang
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  • 11
    Hair - When someone asks me about unpaid internship opportunities at my company. @StupidResumes Pve seen this. I've done this. You do not want this
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  • 12
    Text - Skoog @Skoog me: student loans are crippling our generation person that types with their index fingers and can't rotate a pdf: i bought my house with three buttons and a carton of camels in 1974
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  • 13
    Font - Nobody: adults who go apple picking: WRISTUNG CLUB - We should all be drunk for this. - Let's get really drunk
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  • 14
    Text - HOW LONG ARE '5 MINS' WHEN YOUR BOSS CLIENT SAYS: Can i speak to you for 5 mins? 30 mins Send it to me in the next 5 mins 3 mins This will only take you 5 mins 1 day Sending you the mail in 5 mins 1 week @corporatcemics
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  • 15
    Facial hair - The last thing a craft beer sees before it dies $23 e
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  • 16
    Text - Me: How do you wake up so early? Friend: I don't know my body just wakes up at 5 am and I can't go back to sleep Me: Okay. That sounds made up but okay
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  • 17
    Technology - Restaurant: Kids under 12 eat free Dad: He's 11 Me: Actually I'm ninetee- Dad:
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  • 18
    Joker - VICE @VICE 16m Joker' Used a Song by a Convicted Pedophile in One of... vice.com t2 10 lan Hunt @IHunt 11m Is Batman writing all of your articles?
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  • 19
    Text - rat boy @jnudey please excuse me while i search for a new psychiatrist 3:40 LTE (630 iMessage Today 3:36 PM From Behavioral Health Education Services. Justin has an appt with Dr. Marshall on Monday, October 7 at 12:45 PM Reply to confirm date and time. реерее роороо Justin, this is not an automated message. Should we consider this a confirmation for said time and date? oh my god i'm so sorry. yes, tomorrow at 12:45 works fine Delivered
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  • 20
    Furniture - 10:05 Rex 26 Security Consultant at Jurassic Park Bedrock 8 Straight Dino 9 kilometres away Ready to take you back to the prehistoric era. You won't have to go digging up my bones... Put me on r/Tinder. I dare ya, I double dare ya mutha-fucka! X
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  • 21
    Text - Jesse Case PARTY N @jessecase T have the memory mattress and the gravity blanket. Once I acquire the time pillow and duvet of truth, I can do the summoning. 2:02 AM 07 Oct 19 Twitter Web App
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  • 22
    Text - Every DNA @EveryDNA Aug 5 pen skeleton DNA 11 t 39 384 Replying to @EveryDNA "hey remember that chubby red sweater guy with the mustache? what was that guy's name? pen bone or something" I III
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  • 23
    Text - ryan @the_ryanoceros Any time I fuck up I just think about the time Nike made this ad with Oscar Pistorius right before he shot and murdered his girlfriend and think "maybe I'm doing okay." LAMTHE BULLET IN THE CHAMBER JUST DO IT
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  • 24
    Text - will @HeisenBarry2 GIRL: [flirting] so do you have any wild fantasies? ME: quitting my job. GIRL: no i mean like any risqué fantasies? ME: quitting my job without having anything else lined up.
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  • 25
    Manila galleon - Me: This day is horrible. My crush: Says hi and says have a wonderful day My happiness and self confidence: Way hay and up she rises
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  • 26
    Text - Randall Otis liked ChristianMingle TM Thotpocket @WolfoWalmart raindrops on roses and whiskers~ on kittens sticking My -dick in. rotisserie chicken
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  • 27
    Text - Justin Kim @justindkim92 Her: you wanna go upstairs? Me: sure... Her: you have protection? Me: w-why? What's up there?
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  • 28
    Lighting - This is your house. You get paid 25k a hour just for living here but you can never listen to rap music ever again. Wyd? 23:29 06 Oct 19 Twitter for iPhone 593 Retweets 4,983 Likes Kai (spooky edition) @thesupr... .1d Replying to @cashgodmeme Beethoven be hitting different then Li 259 4,901
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  • 29
    Text - My mom's shitty embryo @sami_automatik Confession: I have thrown out whole Tupperware containers bc I was too terrified to open them after waiting too long to clean them 11:29 AM 17 Jul 19 Twitter for Android
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  • 30
    Text - 41% C l vodafone ES 15:05 Pinja for the untrained ear Hhhahhah Today 14:34 Is your dad a beaver, cause daaaaaamn, girl Today 15:01 What the heeell Why would he be a beaver Type a message.. Send GIF
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  • 31
    Text - The Personification of Nevil @TheAlexNevil Insomnia: Wanna see a magic trick? Me: No Insomnia: Cmon, you know you do Me: Fine Insomnia: Think of a number between 1 and 10,000 Мe: Ok Insomnia: Is it 1? Me: No Insomnia: Is it 2? Me:...No Insomnia: 3? Me: ...I hate you Insomnia: Don't tell me. Is it 4?
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  • 32
    Text - Langdon @ryanlangdon_ The elevator doors opened up and a guy walked in the elevator. It was just me and him in there and he said "I love you." And I'm not rude so I said "I love you too" He gave me a weird look and pointed at his Bluetooth.
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  • 33
    Text - Mission Completed Respect ++ Thanos IS A HERO for helping us end childhood hunger Dennys NOKID HUNGRY #Funny_ Memer
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  • 34
    Text - when you go to the supermarket and only get 1 item, and the guy who has a full cart lets you go first There is still some hope for humanity
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  • 35
    Text - trick or yeet @sarahndipity18 no one: married girls on insta: being in love is the HARDEST thing ever but so WORTH IT we fight NONSTOP but we love like CRAZY I fucking HATE my husband but that's just part of being in LOVE true love is DIRTY & HARD but so REWARDING I LOVE doing his LAUNDRY & wiping his ASS 6:43 p.m. 06 Oct. 19 Twitter for iPhone
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  • 36
    Text - John T. Biggs @biggspirit Why did Rorschach paint so many nasty pictures of my mother? 4:21 PM 07 Oct 19 Twitter Web App
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  • 37
    Text - jake-y-lantern @parttimewinner [guy about to invent chewing] *absolutely deepthroating dino meat* there has got to be a better way 6:53 PM 07 Oct 19 Twitter for iPhone
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  • 38
    Text - @justabookeater me: i hate clichés author: the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one me: *sobs* omg the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one 11:57 PM 7/29/19 Twitter for iPhone 44.6K Retweets 164K Likes
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  • 39
    Bag - Security: sir, no food or drinks allowed. Me: RI ONAL ORT EMOTIONAL SUPPORT made with wemEtic EMOTIONAL
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