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Uncle Wonders If He's Wrong To Question 25 Year Age Gap in Niece's Relationship

The crux here is that you want to protect your loved ones from being manipulated, but at the same time you don't want to cross a boundary and try to control another adult's love life. When the 47-year-old boyfriend was coming over to stay for a week, this guy decided to ask some questions. Like many other tense social situations, the internet weighed in on if that was the right thing to do.

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  • 1
    Text - r/AmItheAsshole Posted by u/Mardy100 2 23 hours ago AITA for asking a 47 year old man who is dating my 22 year old niece some pointed questions that made him "uncomfortable"? Not the A-hole Using a throwaway. Some context; I live in CA, and my wife's niece wanted to come visit us for a few weeks. She's 22, Ive known her since she was 4. Her dad walked out on her family when she was 8. She's very sheltered by her mother. Anyway, I told my wife it was fine with me if she visits. She's a goo
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  • 2
    Text - But then my wife goes, "And she (the niece) wants bring her bf..... e's 47." I'm 41, my wife is 42. I was like "You're kidding, right?" She wasn't kidding. At first, I was like "Hell no." But after about a week of talking, I gave in....with one caveat. I told my wife that if this dude is staying in our house, I'm going to ask some questions he might not like. She wanted to know what kind of questions, and I gave her some.
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  • 3
    Text - 1. How did you guys meet and who made the first move? (If the dude made the first move, it's weird). 2. Has the dude been married, does he have kids? 3. Why are you (the dude) dating such a young woman? 4. Are you (the dude) aware of the young woman's history with her father? 5. What's the end game here? A serious relationship, marriage? Have you (the dude) discussed what will happen if the young woman gets pregnant?
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  • 4
    Text - I know, I'm not the gir's father, but no one else in her family is asking these questions. Her mother is fine with the relationship (which boggles my mind). So, fast forward to the visit. Niece and old dude show up. I'm cordial. I wait till evening, after everything is settled and dinner is over, and I invite the dude to join me on the porch for a beer. Just me and him. Then I start asking my questions. After only my second question, the guy starts getting defensive. He told me this is "N
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  • 5
    Text - I told him he's staying in my home for a week, I can ask him a few questions. And the girl is my niece, Im not out of bounds here. He told me I was making him "uncomfortable". I replied that I'm uncomfortable having a dude who's clearly taking advantage of a young girl stay in my home. I said You can answer my questions and act like you're a stand-up guy, or feel free to hit the fucking road. Well, he left. My wife and niece were upset with me. They said I acted like a jerk and that if my
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  • 6
    Text - giovannisguillotine P... 17.7k points 22 hours ago NTA Yes, she's an adult, yes she can do what she wants. But she clearly has daddy issues and the guy's taking advantage of that vulnerability. With an age gap like this, it's hard for there not to be a power imbalance, which can be hard to see for someone at 22 with little experience with relationships and adult life, as it's all pretty new. Asking some pointed questions while the man was staying in your house seems fair enough to me, as
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    Text - Alfie_Simms 8.8k points 23 hours ago NTA, a 25 year age gap seems a bit weird anyway, and the fact he got 'uncomfortable being asked simple questions about the relationship makes it seem like he was taking advantage of your niece and didn't like being called out on it
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    Text - TrueLazuli 1.2k points 22 hours ago YTA. Not because I think your assessment is wrong, or because I wouldn't have the same questions, but because you should have talked to the niece about it first. Acting like you were cool with having him stay and then springing an interrogation on someone she invited, without letting her know that was a condition of him being a guest in your home, was unnecessarily rude, and I'm sure it embarrassed the hell out of her. I totally support you pushing back
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    Text - Treswimming Partass.... 1.2k points 22 hours ago YTA, but I would probably do the same thing
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    MinWage
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