Dad: That guy is dumber than a box of rocks with all the smart rocks taken out.
Never assume pedobear is a cute, harmless bear and set it as your Facebook picture. #LFMF
(Mom and I talking about my moving out for college) Me: The best schools are away from here and ...
(The day of my wedding rehearsal- My mom is giving me away.) Me- Mom, you can let go. Mom- Nope. ...
*Looking at my grandparents wedding photo on their 50th anniversary* Grandma: I don't look pregn...
Mom: Do you want some Tylenol? Son: Nah, I took some pills dad gave me. Mom: Did you ask what t...
Never hold your guitar pick in your mouth, you will swallow it and it will hurt, both going in, a...