Dyrin42

When living in Mexico, remember the slight pronunciation difference between the words ENFERMO and...

When working in an emergency room, remember which thermometers are oral and which are rectal. The...

Imagine how angry someone would be if you plowed through their house with a tractor. Now imagine ...

Do not sneeze while getting an enema. The wall behind you will look like a jackson pollack painti...

When an Evangelists tells you she can 'help you be born again', the correct response is not to lo...

Wasabi looks just like guacamole. It does not taste just like guacamole. #LFMF

"never carry a computer powersupply, in your rucksack, on a train. You will open your bag durring...

After church service is over, do not say out loud 'Thank God it's over!' Neither your mother or t...

When you notice something on a coworker's shirt, tell them about it, don't reach up and wipe it o...

When leaving your office building using the fire escape during a blackout, do not fantasize about...

Never underestimate the impact force of a small child on a steep slope in a fast sledge. #LFMF

When listening to your iPod through earbuds, do not attempt to fold a wool blanket. That little c...

Never leave the bathroom window open in the middle of winter. As your tongue can stick to a cold...

Never send someone an anomynous letter with your name on it. #LFMF

When driving in snow, 4-wheel drive will help you go. It will not help you stop. You still have t...

When running away from a wasp when in a parking lot, turn and run. Don't run backwards. There are...

If you are feeling gasious while feeling droggy on the train- it's a good idea not to go to sleep...

When leaving out cookies for "Santa" keep the cookies out of reach of the dog. She WILL eat all o...

Be warned, when you're drunk, tuna and cat food look the same. They DON'T taste the same. No matt...

If it is cold enough outside that you can see your breath, people can also see your farts. #LFMF

Boys, remember when you must go use the bathroom at late night, turn on the lights first. Your si...

Never confuse your iron pills with your wife's bladder infection pills. Peeing bright orange is v...

If you had a friend spend the night at your apartment make sure that you don't sleep in the nude ...