Dyrin42

If your GF said the you shouldn't buy v-day gifts for each other, and you do as she said, she'll ...

Before you order a clown for your 2 yr old neices birthday, ask her parents if shes afraid of clo...

Always remember when doing laundry during the winter that the exhaust from the dryer is visible. ...

When you want to take a picture of your dad working on some electric wires, make sure you turn of...

When waking up hungover and swearing profusely at who ever turned on the light. Remember that the...

If you have a cat and also have a big wad of silly putty, do not leave the silly putty on your be...

No matter how hard you try to make it fit, the key that opens the door to your house will never b...

Eating Taco Bell and watching "Life in the ER" is not a good combination. Ever. #LFMydaughter'sF

Before assuming your laptop speakers have broken, check to see if your headphones are still plugg...

Never buy mayonnaise and horseradish sauce of the same brand, in the same size jar. Someday, you ...

(After my 4-year-old got in trouble she came up to her father.) 4yr old: Am I on the naughty lis...

Fruit cakes are baked with Alcohol in them. Alcohol when heated produces a gas. This gas burns. ...

Before tearing apart the entire house looking for your glasses, first ask yourself- I wonder why ...

If you play guitar, never test the temperature of food with the tips of the fingers on your left ...

When making smoothies at home, don't mistake frozen bananas with turkey sausage. Your smoothie wi...

*Look* at your baby's face before kissing her. She may have some spit up right at your target. ...

If that Hot sauce you enjoy isnt coming out, make sure the lid is on tightly before it falls off ...

Whipping a bunched up sock against your leg in an attempt to remove the lump can result in you h...

If you have a child who still wears diapers, think twice about licking off that brown smudge on y...

If you happen to find yourself sewing while sick, avoid the temptation to snort at the sinus drai...

Your 2-year old niece may not understand the naughty story you're telling her parents, but that w...

Never play the "Finger Eating Monster" game with a child who has discovered how to pick his nose.

never have hot wings 3 days in a row, every fart will burn, every turd will be liquid magma, and ...

When you're single and have a dog in your house, you may want to check whether you are just dream...

Just because a cloth towel is the closest thing at hand does not make it a good tool for squashin...

Microwave cooks: chicken balls may be virtually indestructible, but salmon WILL explode like some...

When impressing people at University with your large taste in heavy metal music, make sure your r...