Dyrin42

When working with superglue, be aware of where you place the tube and make sure to close it befor...

your boyfriend knows that you have the fiber intake of a cow and to check the nutrition label of ...

If you walk into an invisible object when you are entering the shower, it's a magical thing calle...

If you want to know what that crazy internet term you just heard is, (Lemon party, blue waffle, t...

Never go to a Halo Tournament held a church. Yelling Goddamnit after losing is definately frowned...

An old toothbrush makes a great sink scraper, but don't leave it right next to your current tooth...

If you record your college lectures and you just had an extremely long day of work, make sure yo...

Do not use a brand new knife to cut off that pesky plastic thing on your new hairbrush. The knif...

If you have a giant spider in your hand, don't go "Hey look a giant spider" to your Girlfriend sh...

If you just cut your gums really bad while flossing, reconsider using mouthwash afterwards

If your 9 month old learns to pull herself up by pulling on your pants, she will use leg hair ins...

Did you know you cannot gargle honey? You can however, violently choke on it. #LFMF

If your cat is nudging you for attention, give her a few scritches BEFORE you start to eat. If yo...

When opening a door, remember you have to twist the nob before to push. #LFMF

If you remember a movie that scared you as a child, don't watch it even if you think, "Hey, I'm o...

Eyeing the neighbor's bikini-wearing wife while you're jogging: awesome. Being so distracted you ...

Don't tell lonely co-workers where you live. #LFMF

Never blow your nose in a public restroom. You will regain your sense of smell. You will regret i...

Learn some history BEFORE you go to a funeral. The phrase 'glory hole' was originally a nautical ...

Don't let your youngest sibling on the computer unsupervised. He will go straight for a site he h...

When you are in a restaurant, and you tune out and go to take a sip of your drink, make sure that...

When using the reflection of a dark-tinted car window to adjust your shades and make sexy faces, ...

When your panicked wife tells you that the microwave is on fire, do not assume she is overreactin...

Girls: when following your mom into the restroom, for the love of decency, make sure one of you r...

When living with parrots, understand that, to them, your Kinect sensor is nothing more than an ex...

if you're going to the fridge and your coworker reaches it first and opens the door, standing by ...

Woman don't like it when you confuse them with your tall, burly male friend. they especially hate...

Just because your grandmother is over 90 and has never been on a computer before, don't assume sh...

When feeding your infant twins with your overprotective wife, after she tells you to "be careful!...

When walking through a partially open door while picking your nose, make sure that there is nothi...