Ganglofmeister

Instead of cutting, DONATE blood! You still get the pain from the needle stick, but you get to w...

Dad while on medication for allergies "All is strange and fake. Is this Hell? Or is it Ohio?"

My dad said: I dont understand the migratory patterns of Mexican cheese!

Dad: So I was in the shower this morning, and I was thinking about Doctor Who. *spaces off*

(as my little brother is sliding down the stairs backwards) little brother: hey daddy, i got car...

About halfway through "Return of the Jedi" Mom: (re: Endor) Oh, are they back on Earth now? Me:...

*after speaking intelligently about a topic* Mom: You should be a writer! Dad: ...or gay.

*While talking about my grampa* Me: i wonder why he hasn't died yet Sister: Maybe god loves him...

while talking about my best friend mom: omg. Emma has a boyfriend me: yeah, I know. mom: aren'...

*A kid in my class yelling violently* Kid: Shut up, you douchebag!!! Mom: Do you know what a do...

(Talking about a picnic I was going to have with my friends) Mom: Don't you have enought meat? ...

Grandma: I made an appointment to get the dog fixed. So after next Tuesday he will be a Jackie i...

Dad: Oh, I was a boxer when I was in high school... Mom: (knows he's making it up) Was there any...

Michelle Obama on tv: if you're anything like my family, you love playing basketball Dad: that'...

Dad: Well son, I should have probably talked to you about this a long time ago, but here. *My da...

Me: Does watching Glee makes you gay? Dad: Nope, it's being gay that makes you watch Glee.

Me: I never drink unless I'm with you. Mom: I was sneaking drinks at 15. You are the worst rebel...

Me: My boyfriend is beginning to look like a cross between Abe Lincoln and a wolf-man Dad: So h...

(After my great grandfather's funeral) "When I die, I am to be cremated and then sprinkled into ...

Mom: So how was school today? Me: Not great, we spent an entire period doing nothing. Mom: Oh, ...

Dad: You are such a nerd. Put down the book and watch TV with the rest of us. Me: Hey, nerds are...

(At a parade, where a school called Highland High School marches past) Mom: How can they all be ...

(My parents discussing how my cousin impregnating his girlfriend caused a family uproar) Mom: Ok...

*After I accidentally sucked part of an ice cube through the straw in my drink.* Grandpa (to my ...

Grandma: Look the bowling ally is for sale! Mom: Yes Lucy it is... Grandma: We should buy it! ...

[Two pretty lady friends needed a place to stay for the night. Next morning Mom catches us on ou...

(when I was 16) Grandma: You've been dating your boyfriend for a while... Have you talked to your...