GothGirlNinja

Dad to the cat: I won't let any walruses eat you now, will I? (We live in Nevada by the way)

Mom: You know that band you played for me the other day? Wasn't their name Cutie Pie Lovehandles?...

*While teaching grandfather to play mariocart at the family reunion* Grandfather (finally learne...

Family Feud Host: Name a place where you might see a dead body. Mom: Next to Chuck Norris.

Me: If Star Trek fans are "Trekkies" are Star Wars fans "Warries?" Grandma: No, they're just idi...

(I overheard this conversation between a man and his son at the pizza parlor where I work.) Dad:...

Dad: when life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into your enemy's papercuts.

(While my dad is in the ICU after a heart attack) Mom: The doctor says your heart rate is too lo...

My wife who just put a 'Batman' t-shirt on our 10 month son Wife:Look, our son is Batman! Me: Y...