Swarthygarfield

A) No matter how desperate you are for a caffeine fix, don't snort green tea powder. B)Better ye...

When your makeup bottle is clogged due to dried makeup, don't squeeze it to try and get the makeu...

When you find out that coffee creamer is flammable never use all of your mothers favorite kind. S...

Never attempt to amuse yourself by flicking a sleeping cat's ear until it swipes at you. You may ...

Good idea: going to the pool with your friends Bad idea: staying there so long that your eyes tu...

when you're jumping on your kingsized trampoline your sis got for her birthday, DO NOT DO SO AFTE...

Black interior looks really nice in your red car. It also holds heat quite well. You live in Geor...

If a teacher points to a country and asks you to name it, if you don't know how to pronounce it, ...

It doesn't matter if you're a lesbian. Your best guy friend's girlfriend WILL become jealous and ...

When cleaning your daughter's bedroom and hastily removing the large pile of stuffed animals in t...

If you work in a healthcare setting, do not *ever* pull a plug from a wall socket before checking...

NEVER sing along to Nirvana's "Rape Me" on your mp3. There is no explaining it. #LFMF

When telling someone you're a Communist, make sure that they are not a McCarthyist or else they w...

Just because it is in a small glass doesn't mean it's meant to be drunk like a shot. #LFMF

If you feel it's about time to empty your camera, just do it. Otherwise, those embarrassing mirro...

Tried to log onto CIA website. Computer shut down. Sheer panic. Turns out cable fell out. #LFMF

TRY to remember when school picture day is. Otherwise you will be stuck eternally in the yearbook...

Yes, you are eating a delicious, juicy watermelon. Yes, you love putting the seeds in your mouth ...

Bad Idea: Falling asleep on the toilet at work. Worse Idea: Not stretching your legs before stan...

The proper order of things is start dating, have sex, then move in together. Do not reverse this...