dianaelizabeth44

Dad: "You're working at Hot Topic? That's one of those ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLE stores!" Three year...

My dad sees my rabbit eating a peice of sponge. Dad: Stupid cat...

Me: So, I'm Jewish by association. (referring to my Jewish fiancee) Mother: No, dear, you're J...

Dad: "Sex is a very special thing that is shared between a man and a woman. Its important to wai...

Mom: OMG I was watching a movie with (grandpa's girlfriend) and a commercial for viagra came on; ...

My mom is driving 30 km/h on an icy road. Me: Mom, you can go a little faster. Mom: No I can't....

Me: Can you lay off with the questions a little. Mom: Well it's something I'm not used to, if i ...

Me: I don't see why I can't have innocent sleepovers with boys. Dad: I don't want you having sex...

80 year old Grandma: "You coming to my house for the sex party?" She was referring to the baby s...

My mother (always very nasty when drunk): "You're the f**king spawn of Satan!" Me (rolling eyes)...

My mom upon watching a 'get fit' commercial: "If I had a body like that, I'd walk around in a bi...

My LITTLE brother:How long does it take to make a person? Me( joking):About 15 minutes. Grandpa...

Mom, in the car: "Oh my GOD I'm NAKED!" Me and my friend in the backseat: "What?!" Mom: "I left...

Dad: "If I ever catch you with drugs, I will have to take them from you and... dispose of them pr...

Me: Do you know what FTW stands for? Mom: Fuck The Woman?

During the 1984 Olympics... Me: Mom, why are there two Germanys? Mom: Because when they're on...

Me: Are you asking me to steal something from our neighbors front yard when it gets dark? Mom: ....

Dad: NO! You can't throw chocolate away! That's like throwing... a baby reindeer away!