im1madpotato

My wife who just put a 'Batman' t-shirt on our 10 month son Wife:Look, our son is Batman! Me: Y...

(mum's telling us to turn off the TV) Mum: I've told u 1,000 times. TURN IT OFF!!! (jack and I ...

(discussing what to get Dad for Father's Day) Me: I'm getting you a bottle of good whiskey but i...

(Dad and I are outside at night time) Dad: It really is nice out. Me: Yeah... (Wild animal bar...

*I had just temporarily moved in with my parents after a recent divorce* Mom: Here, I bought yo...

(after seeing three red headed kids at walmart) Me: Look mom its the weasleys! Mom: oh, are tho...

[With my grandparents and my mom watching TV. My mom changes channel to Harold and Kumar Go To Wh...

(This is after my great grandma dies at her funeral) Preacher: ...And her souls looks down on us...

*Watching a Learning Japanese DVD* Lady on TV: *picture of an axe* Ono. Mom: Ono? As in, Yoko O...

Me: So I was thinking about buying a Prius... Mom: *Shrieks* Where did you learn such bad words?...

Dad to the cat: I won't let any walruses eat you now, will I? (We live in Nevada by the way)

[Mom found a rubber in my brother's room] Bro: Mom, I'm really sorry... Mom: What for? You used...

Me- Hey! I got an A+ on my social studies test and a B on my math test! Mom- Good, you have to b...

Me (at breakfast one morning): You're officially allergic to life. You can't have soy milk, but y...