smmhart

(My mom is reading the local paper.) Me: Looks like some people were hit by lightning last night...

(My Mom and I are at the bank. Mom walks up to the bank manager.) Manager: How can I help you to...

Uncle: I want a pet owl. Me: Why...? Uncle: They are so cute, and they eat mice, and they are a...

Me: What's for dinner? Dad: Meat. Me: What kind of meat. Dad: Dead meat. Me: What kind of dea...

Mom: The digital thermometer is broken. It says it's 1,015 degrees! Me: No, it's saying it's 10:...

Mom: Did you hear about that actress who go stabbed? Me: No, who? Mom: Reese something.... Me:...