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If Only This Were True

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Lemme Get You Some Water for That...Wait

Text - 26 minutes ago near can't...stop...EATING!! Like Comment Promote < Ex BF worms? 22 minutes ago Like wouldn't be the first thing you gave me about a minute ago Like Nice Lileo failbook.com

Be Sure to Disinfect That Burn

Text - Roger 11 hours ago via mobile Time to watch some Netflix and take off my pants. It's the little things in life. Lol. Like Comment Unfollow Post 12 people like this Lindsay 10 hours ago Like 7 you see the little things in life alot when you take off your pants? Mikel I've heard that about him... 10 hours ago via mobile Like 2 Roger or the fact that everyone liked her comment. Well played everyone. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm late for my penis reduction surgery. about an hour ago via mobil

Too Little Too Late

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Buuuuuuuuuurn!

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Horrible Husband, I Choose You!

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Text - Donald J. Trump Congratulations to Tom Scocca and Timothy Burke of @Deadspin for exposing the Manti Te'o fiasco. @realDonaldTrump 33m Details Deadspin @Deadspin Follow @realDonaldTrump Go fk yourself Reply Retweet Favorite More 1,362 953 RETWEETS FAVORITES 11:15 AM-17 Jan 13 Embed this Tweet

Well Done, Deadspin

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You sir, have been told.

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Anon FAIL

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ZING

Text - It would be much easier to do jumping jacks if my dick weren't hitting me in the face. Like Comment about an hour ago likes this. I didnt know you were only 3 inches tal? about an hour ago Unlike 6

Time to Bust Out the Aloe Vera

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Someone came up with a good comeback? Better make sure they know to apply cold water to burned area.

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Ouch... Burn....

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I find your lack of faith disturbing.